DP won't insure me on his new car

[MyDPisasexistpig]

A car he has lusted after for years. Bought with his bonus/dividends so fair enough it's 'his' money in the loosest sense of the word.

Was talking about his insurance and I said oh I can't wait to drive it. It then comes out that I'm not on the insurance . I asked why and he said oh well it would've cost too much (fuck off given the price of the car). He then admitted that he didn't want me driving the car

I've never had one accident. I've got three points of speeding and that it. In ten years of driving.

AIBU to think he's a sexist pig and I'm supposed to go ok you drive me around when you feel like it then? (Obviously I have a car myself just a bog standard boring family car)

I'm glad he relented OP.

I'm still wondering about the questions I asked. Hope you get a say in big spending decisions even if you're a SAHM or earn less than him.

Buying a £50,000+ car with a bonus from work. How the other half live, eh?

Your husband is not a banker by any chance is he?

I'm glad hes changed his mind OP! You never know when you might need to use it plus in an emergency.

It can actually make your insurance cheaper to put a partner/ spouse on

I have a full clean licence and passed 8 years ago, I'm over 25, I've had no accidents. My insurance is reasonably cheap and I added my partner and it did lower mine but..

My partners car died so he bought a 7 seater for us and the kids. Insurance almost doubled from £32 a month on his own to £58 a month with me on it! I couldn't quite believe it but we both went through it and couldn't get it any cheaper. We couldn't afford that kind of increase monthly as we bought the car outright and used all our savings. So unfortunately I'm not insured on it :( He doesn't want me to drive it 3rd party.

No not a banker. Manual labour but boss of his company.

Exactly why we've told the DC to get a trade and not bother too much with university!

It's not really a bonus, it's dividends from the company.

Dividends are nothing like a bonus. For self employed people with their own business, it's basically a tax-efficient way of paying yourself. My DH owns a limited company - his official "salary" his small and he pays himself mostly in dividends.

Still family money, still family money.

Since you are insured for your own car, assuming you work (my old insurance co wouldn't insure me to drive dh car using my insurance because beng sahm was classed as "unemployed", you can drive "his" car usng your insurance anyway. So you've already started saving money for your dream car next. Yes let the Dec have a picnic in it.

you can drive "his" car usng your insurance anyway

Terrible advice, most driving other cars allowances specifically exclude cars owned by a spouse.

I get the not sharing and new toy thing totally, I hate sharing too. But there's a difference between having your own cars and preferring not to drive each other's and one person outright saying you are not allowed to drive my car, which is what the insurance refusal is. The former doesn't bother me, the latter would seriously piss me off. Glad he's changed his mind.

I am a bit torn. I don't drive so maybe I would feel differently over a car. We both work FT and split everything pretty much down the middle. Debt is a shared responsibility.
I had some shares from my corporation as part of a bonus - they vest over 3 years. Year 1 I sold them and paid for the family Xmas. Year 3 I bought myself a Louis Vuitton suitcase. If DP used it instead of his perfectly functional luggage set, I would likely kick him in the balls. He had a bonus last year and half went on settling a credit card, other half went on a carbon bike. If I get too close to it in the garage, he emits an involuntary shriek. So we both have stuff that is ours and it stays ours...I don't think that's a bad thing is it? DP also doesn't let me borrow his phone charger but that is because I have form for leaving them places to be completely fair!

It's my understanding the tax rules have changed and dividends will now be taxed higher so good that he made hay while the sun shone!

Good on you - did he like your username?

If you're not married, it's not legally family money.

Unless someone can supply a link that proves otherwise, even if you are married your money is legally your own, as long as you haven't put it into a joint account. (And in fact I'm not sure that putting it in a joint account makes it "family money", I don't think there's any such legal concept. Not a lawyer, willing to be proved wrong.)

The law requires your all money to be shared at the point of divorce, marrying makes no difference to who the money in your bank account belongs to. (Perhaps it's the words to opposite effect in the wedding service that make people think otherwise?.)

To put it simply, if you are married are your spouse blows money from their bank account on something that you don't approve of, you can't have them arrested for stealing from you. But if they somehow managed to spend money from your account, I assume you could. If I'm right about this, then being married doesn't cause your money to become family money, legally.

Just go online to the insurers and put yourself on the insurance!

Oh leave him be. Let him drive HIS car.

Our money is our money but we are married. I wouldn't have had kids with a my money your money bloke as that isn't the sort of relationship I want. We add each other to insurance as a matter of course. If my husband said he wasn't adding me to his insurance it would be a sign he no longer valued me and cared about my happiness. This isn't about a car it's about treating someone you are supposed to love shabbily