To be furious that the kids were left alone?

[Therearenonamesleft]

My OH got home late last night after drinks with friends. He got a taxi home and this am forgot that his car was still parked at the station. I leave for work earlyish in the morning and he is responsible for taking the kids to school / holiday club most mornings. Today he suddenly realised his car was at station after I'd left for work so he gave the kids breakfast (DS is 7.5 and Dd is 5) and told them to be sensible and not go upstairs or open the door etc and that he had to go and fetch the car. He claims he legged it all the way and was back home in 8minutes.
I feel furious and sick with worry and unease. AIBU? I think they're too young to be left alone even for this short amount of time. I shared my concerns and husband said he sees my point of view but disagrees as he thinks the risks are minuscule. I've asked him not to do it again - at least until DS is competent at making a call on the landline should some problem arise. They are both very sensible children and I often leave them playing upstairs etc while I'm in the garden etc but they are always close enough to call me. Should I take this any further? Is this a safeguarding issue I need to be worrying about? I don't want to over react but I feel uncomfortable about his inability to guarantee it won't happen again.
Thanks for reading all this! Any sensible advice welcome.

8 minutes? Did he time it? I don't have kids and even I know it's stupid to assume children can care for themselves. We've had cases here in HK where children left alone at home have ended up dead.

Surely the obvious thing to do would have been to get kids ready then all get a taxi to the car??

I think it's awful that he left them, I'd be totally furious. If something had happened then nobody would know the kids were home alone. Why didn't he just take the kids with him and be a bit late?

I was having a dilemma about whether to leave my very sensible 10.5 year old in charge of my 4 year old for half an hour (both can use the phone ) the other day and my first reaction was to call DH and see what he thought. He felt ok with it, I felt ok... It was all ok. My point being, surely stuff like this is a joint decision if you're part of a couple? Isn't parenting all about working out where you stand on stuff together? It constantly changes and you need to be on the same page. I would no way leave a 7 year old in charge of a 5 year old though - however sensible.

YADNBU, I can't believe that anyone would think this is ok and for me it would be a safeguarding issue.
I know someone whose child put the hob on and caused it to set light to a trivot thing on the hob. The fire brigade were called and it was easily put out. They received a letter from SS. The dad was in the house with them at the time.
Also, at 9yo my DS set fire to his bedroom.
Another time, we had to evacuate our house immediately as some garages behind had set alight and had gas canisters in them. The whole road was closed and we were not allowed near our house for hours.
I dont believe the risk is small, there are too many things the kids could do in the home to injure themselves at that age. Did he lock them in??

I am married to a firefighter and believe you me, a significant fire can happen in 8 minutes so you really shouldn't be dismissive. He has attended many fires started by children and brought out the bodies of his friends children. We were called once by his 8 year old when his children had been left by his ex-wife whilst she just popped to the shops. The boys had a fight and one of them had scalded the other's hand. Normally very sensible children but common sense went out of the window in the heat of the moment. Of course children need to be independent but at 7 I think that is too young and if anything did go wrong at best you could easily find yourself having to defend yourself in court, at worst you could have an injured or dead child/ren. Why take the chance? No, OP, YANBU at all but I would hope your husband would respect your worries until your children were older to be more independent.

As half of a parenting team, surely you also bear should have considered the car needing moved from the night before. This wouldn't have been an issue if your oh hadn't had to go and retrieve the car with no back up from you being with the children. So your over reaction caused by the guilt of being so thoughtless that you just left him to it? He's obviously not a bad father as he sorts their breakfast and can be trusted to have them presentable for school or club. I as parent used my judgement on these matters, my oldest two could be left for 5mins rather than being dragged out in the wet/cold, youngest two couldn't turn your back on for a second! I think you are taking this all a little too far, it should be discussed with your oh, and him allowed his say he is the other parent and was the one in the situation, not you!

If this situation bothered you that much, you would have kicked his ass out & started divorce proceedings.

If you thought your kids were in that much danger, you would not need to seek advice from an anonymous forum.

Your safeguarding views should not be up for negotiation, surely?

Safeguarding issue?
Taking things further?
Ffs social services would laugh in your face.
Completely over the top. Sorry!

I have't read all the thread but for what it's worth I think you ANBU. What if he had been in an accident? Not a soul knew those children were at home alone... They could have been there all day. Bollocks to the people on here who think it is no big deal.

Do you just want attention for this why post it in the first place .. No one was hurt .. It's stupid and silly to leave young children unattended .. Don't get your post

Biddy
The op has to leave for work early in the morning and was asleep when her dh got home. Her dh got a taxi home -op was not aware of this before she left for work.
Please RTFT (preferably in the morning) and then read your latest post
Perhaps then come and reword or explain your ramblings. Op explained specifically what happened. Your post makes no sense whatsoever.

I just also wanted to add that a friend of mine was upstairs bathing baby and young ds around 7 was downstairs eating, she happened to pop downstairs and found him (silently) choking. Shivers They ended up in A&E and it was a very close call. Please don't leave children alone eating; choking isn't as rare as you would think.

Why did your OH drive to a station he can get to in 10 minutes on foot?

What's done is done but I would be furious, and make it clear it wasn't to happen again, but would leave it at that, my 8yr old is pretty sensible but together they bicker and fight so no way would I have left my 8 yr old in charge of her 5 year old sibling, if it's only 8mins away then why didn't he get them ready for school and scoot to the car on the way? What if they had had an accident and one had fallen down the stairs, what if someone had called at the house and found them home alone, what if they'd panicked and left the house to look for him?? To many what ifs to take chances

In what world is a reception aged child not classed as a very young child?

I actually can't believe that people are saying it's ok!!!!
You are NOT being unreasonable OP, I don't think it's ever acceptable to leave a child alone in a property under the age of at least 10 for any length of time. Unlikely that something could happen in that time but I wouldn't want to take that risk and have to live with it for the rest of your life would you?

Yanbu. It was a bad call by ur oh but sometimes people make wrong decisions, fortunately nothing bad happened this time hopefully lesson learnt... OH needs to give reassurances that it wont happen again as if it's repeatedly dun then that's what becomes a concern
Dare I say it "safeguarding issue" due to the increased risk. I'd like to think if the school or holiday club found out then they would just speak to u about it but a lot of unnecessary referals can be made to ss without first speaking to parents. If this is just a one off ss would just offer advice tho or keep a record incase further referrals are made. I seriously doubt it would to get to that stage tho so don't panic! speak to oh make sure he doesn't do it again and get ur landline sorted. This post has reminded me that I need to sort my landline out too as like u op mine broke and I rely on the mobile, so thanks. Good luck with the convo

The law has changed children under 14 shouldn't be left alone.

Where on earth did that idea come from? Virtually every secondary school child in the country is left alone at some point.

My mother left us home alone, to go and play golf if we dared to be ill and off school and she had her golf days. My sister had pneumonia at the age of 5, was off school for 6 weeks, and mother continued to leave her alone all day. That was 60 years ago. We survived.

You have different attitudes to risk. In my opinion, you are well over-reacting. His attitude is sensible.

As I've mentioned in my previous post, we can all argue until the cows come home about whether he was reasonable/unreasonable to do what he did.

But what for? The fact that the op has had to ask opinions on whether we find it unreasonable, yet cannot make her mind up on whether she should take further action or not, baffles me

This is one strange post. Unless, of course, you were coming on to vent and then resume like, as normal.

Consider the possibility that hubby has an accident whilst rushing to get his car and get home, what happens then? At best there are two small children scared, confused and on their own until dad hobbles home or police arrive. The worst doesn't bear thinking about

WTF? Again, HOW is it better that if dad crashes the car, that the children are in the car crash with him rather than perfectly safe, if alone, at home? What kind of mind thinks this is a better outcome?

Hodooooor surely the car crash thing is making the point that if you leave kids alone at home, unforseen stuff can happen - car crash - stop to help old lady collapsed on th pavement - car breaks down - the point is not that you want your kids to die with you, but that if you leave young children unsupervised, you need to be mindful that sometimes, you may not make it straight back as planned.

this will be in the daily mail by the end of today... probably a journo OP. ugh.