DD aged 4 sharing parents' bedroom

[MarchelineWhatNot]

We live in a tiny 2 up 2 down house which we rent from a private landlord. Our son has his own room and myself, DH & DD share the other bedroom. DD is always asking for her own room and I feel really sorry for her as I know she would keep it really nice and tidy.

Unfortunately, we cannot afford to move. We are stretched to the limit financially and I already commute 90 mins both ways (3 hours per day) for work so moving further out of the city is just not an option. We have pets as well so can't move into a flat.

So we're stuck. But I feel really sad for DD. Is it so bad for her to share our room? Is anybody else in this situation and if so, how do you handle it?

Thanks.

Op I really feel for you. The main suggestion I can make is to look into alternative housing - go to the council and see what they say, look into HA and other options. Private rents crippled us financially. We were so very lucky (and trust me - I feel grateful every single day) when we got a council house this January after 16 years private renting - believe it or not but 14 other families turned our house down - we had to move to a very rural location but totally worth it. Now saving £300/500 a month on rent. Huge amount. Has transformed our lives in more ways then I can tell you. SO - I'd do that first but in the short term I would either get the sofa bed or - my preference would be - buy a bunk bed for the bedroom your son has (or you squeeze into that room and get bunk beds for your old room). They will be fine with that - they can have area's each for their stuff. My girls share a room with bunk beds, my eldest loves sitting on her top bunk and reading/tablet time. Good luck with everything and I hope it works out.

www.privacypop.com

Blimmincheek that's okay. You don't have to convince me! I've done the "sofa bed in the living room so the children could have the two bedrooms" for well over a year previously. I didn't have a huge problem with it. You do what you must, eh?

I don't think op wants to make any changes.

Is there a stair space that can be utilised? I ask because twenty years ago I owned a 1 up 1 down in Hackney and I used the dead space in the stairwell to make an office space / sofabed area. Could easily be done. And why has no-one mentioned lift conversion?

I like Artandco solution best so far.

Bunk beds in small room for both children.
That room is flor sleeping only.
Small area in parents bedroom set up with desk and books for the older boy so he has some space after little one has gone to bed. Sorted.

And why has no-one mentioned lift conversion?

They don't own it

If you didn't have the pets could you move closer to work (therefore smaller commute and lower commuting costs) and have a third bedroom?

I love my pets but if finding them a nice other family then meant I could have an extra hour a day with my kids; plus the 4yo have her own room; plus lower commuting costs then it's a no brained.

I lived in a one bedded cottage years ago, couldn't swing a cat but a sofa bed still fitted in the very small living room.

Yeah surely if you already have a sofa and a TV then the sofa bed just folds out into the small bit of space between the sofa and TV? You only need an extra 50cm to make a sofa into a sofa bed probably.

I think OP is just ignoring the sofa bed suggestion, which is by far the easiest option. Failing that, I'd look for work and housing outside of London (I'm assuming that's where op is based!). Visited London at the weekend and couldn't believe housing prices - my £400 a month mortgage would equate to around £1600 a month to rent a comparable property. Madness.

Clearly there is only one thing to be done. Get in a London landlord!

One sweep of the area through their eyes and before you know it there'll be sleeping arrangements for you, DH, DS DD and an entire circus troupe.
If you doubt me, please refer to Vice's London Rental Opportunity of the Week.

If you doubt me, please refer to Vice's London Rental Opportunity of the Week.

Oh I love these.

Fold down bed over the bath.
Mattress on the kitchen floor.
Lean to on the patio with bunk beds.

The options are, quite simply, endless.

I actually think this is fine for the next 2-3 years. You could get DD a curtain or bed tent or even get her a mid sleeper with den underneath to be her 'room' (still in your room). You might have both had a pay rise or two in a couple of years and be able to afford something a bit bigger. Another thought could be to look at other 2-bed properties but with a separate dining room that could be a bedroom, or even something like a conservatory that you could use as a living room so that the living room could be a bedroom. I do think it's not a big deal for now though.

The bunk beds over the kitchen sink are particularly inspired whois

I'd be surprised if a sofa bed wouldn't fit in the living room. You can get different sizes.

What I would do would be get a sofa bed, or air bed or something and let the adults live downstairs and children in their own rooms.

I would then consider looking for jobs elsewhere, in a cheaper part of the country where a 3 bed would be affordable.

When I first had dd I was a single mum in a very small 1 bed house. She was 3 before I could afford to move. She had bedroom and all her toys were kept up there. I had a wardrobe for my clothes in there too. My bed was a sofa bed downstairs it literally just fitted when it was unfolded but it wasn't as if I needed to be going in an out hall once I was asleep! The dining table was the drop sided sort that the chairs slotted in middle so could be stored flat against wall when not being used. Point is rooms can be very small but you manage when you have to.

I hate to mention the blindingly obvious but do OP and OH not want their own bedroom too? Surely this is having an impact on their relationship as they also have no privacy. I know you do what you have to do but I find it strange that this hasn't really been mentioned as an issue. At least OP and OH moving into the smaller bedroom would give them back a bit of space.

The bunk beds over the kitchen sink are particularly inspired whois

All that space currently going to waste!

It'll have to be a sofa bed in the lounge for you and your DH, it's not appropriate for DD to share with DS for much longer and she needs her own space.

I wondered about that too Itsa. Also, the boy is 11 and is going to need somewhere to do his homework in peace.

Of course a sofa bed will fit . I'm struggling to visualise a room billed as a living room that's too small to actually lie down in? And if you can lie down in it, you can fit a (sofa) bed in it

Ok to sum up what's been said, your options are:

1. Stay as you are
2. Put the kids in bunk beds
3. Move parents onto sofabed downstairs
4. Move house.

Up to you but 2 would be the worst option, DS is too old to share with a girl. Stay as you are is best option for now and not a big deal while she's young. My 3.5 yr old son would dearly love to sleep in our bedroom with us! Long term you are going to have to figure out a way to move, so I guess look at what you are both doing for jobs and work out a way that at least one of you can expect a decent pay rise within the next few years. (Ps I think getting rid of the pets is a very weird thing to suggest, I would have been heartbroken to lose my childhood cat - ignore that kind of stuff OP).

Flogging, ours you could fit one opened, but our living room is between kitchen and bathroom one side and bedroom the other. So in our flat once sofa bed opened, nobody could get past to use the toilet etc