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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to punch my husband in the face

83 replies

StarThorn · 30/05/2016 00:39

I am probably being an idiot but my dh and I went out tonight, we had 10mo ds, so I left at 7. Dh didn't call, text or bother getting in touch and just rocked up, pissed out of his head, telling me he does everything for me and I don't give a shit about him, and proceeded to say he wants a divorce. I know he is drunk but he said some really hurtful things. He climbed into bed with me, started groping my ass and when I told him I was having my period he said I can go fuck myself and he wants a divorce as I don't give a shit about him. He said I had no reason to be annoyed. Am I just being pissy for no reason, or is my dh a giant cockhead?!?!?

OP posts:
DontDeadOpenInside · 30/05/2016 00:44

He's a giant cockhead.

McCunty · 30/05/2016 00:45

A giant, double cockhead.

Myusernameismyusername · 30/05/2016 00:48

He is a triple giant cockhead of the first degree

cantthinkofabloodyname · 30/05/2016 00:49

What a wanker.

blackbirdmilkshake · 30/05/2016 00:50

...

AIBU to want to punch my husband in the face
SarahM24 · 30/05/2016 00:54

Wow he's a massive cock head!

Sunnsoo · 30/05/2016 00:56

Yabu for suggesting violence.

elephantoverthehill · 30/05/2016 00:57

IME not good.

1Catherine1 · 30/05/2016 00:58

Yabu for suggesting violence

To be fair - The OP said to "WANT to punch her husband in the face", not to actually do it. So OP - YANBU to want to.

Original poster
StarThorn · 30/05/2016 00:59

Good to know I'm not alone in thinking it, the question is, what do I do next? I am stuck here at his parents with ds as I don't drive and am relying on him driving me the 50 miles home tomorrow. He has been so nasty tonight and is making me feel like the bad guy. His latest excuse is apparently I don't like that he has gone out and got drunk for the first time since Christmas, so I am a nasty fucking bitch and i should now file for divorce because he can't be fucked but doesn't want to be with me. Not sure anymore if it is just the alcohol talking. He has never been this nasty to me before and it is taking everything I have not to just lamp him!

OP posts:
Original poster
StarThorn · 30/05/2016 01:00

For the record, I have never been violent, nor will I ever be, it is just a figure of speech, though that doesn't mean I can't want to right?!

OP posts:
itslookingbright · 30/05/2016 01:02

No point discussing it with him while he's drunk, just let it be until he's sober tomorrow. I would just wait until then and see what he has to say for himself...

Myusernameismyusername · 30/05/2016 01:03

Maybe get the train, he sounds steaming and will be over the limit for a while

Then talk to him once sober

Baconyum · 30/05/2016 01:04

Alternative to punching him-

Ask him about it - quoting him in front of his parents!

Then get that divorce - knob!

elephantoverthehill · 30/05/2016 01:05

I am quite sure you have no problem with him being at home and getting drunk with his mates, but he he has to square it with you regarding DS and behave like a gentleman when he arrives back.

TheWitchesofIzalith · 30/05/2016 01:10

Did he actually call you a nasty fucking bitch?

That's dreadful. What a horrible way to speak to your wife and mother of your child. And to say he wants a divorce, well I know people say things they don't mean sometimes...but saying you want a divorce is more than that...it is difficult to explain away with an 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it'.

Original poster
StarThorn · 30/05/2016 01:14

TheWitches yep, actually said that and that's not the worst he's said tonight.
I am kind of backed into a corner here tonight so I will have to stay (I dont want to wake ds and everyone has now gone to bed/ locked up) dh is lying in bed snoring his head off so will have to confront him in the morning now. Not that I'm going to get a lot of sleep..

OP posts:
FirstWeTakeManhattan · 30/05/2016 01:16

Am I just being pissy for no reason

I think you probably know the answer to that.

1Catherine1 · 30/05/2016 01:17

but saying you want a divorce is more than that...it is difficult to explain away with an 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it' -- Not for everyone, I threaten to divorce my husband at least once a week.

However, if he ever actually called me names like that or made me feel the way the OP obviously does, I would not be making any threats. He would find out soon enough.

If I were you OP, I would be going to the train station tomorrow morning, even ask your inlaws for a lift explaining that your husband was very vocal about wanting a divorce and it would be best if you returned home.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 30/05/2016 01:20

I'd get the train home with DS and tell him he can stay with his parents (or wherever the fuck else he wants to stay) until I've decided whether I want to divorce him or not. Chances are I would divorce him because alcohol lowers your inhibitions so you say what you feel, it doesn't generally change what you feel and I'm not massively fond of being called a nasty bitch while I'm the one who has taken our child home to bed, at his parents house, and he's stated out with mates then come home pissed and fucking obnoxious to boot.

He'd be on his parents sofa & he could explain why in the morning.

In fact if his parents are half decent they'll offer to drive you and DS home today.

1Catherine1 · 30/05/2016 01:20

ofc OP, you cannot leave in the middle of the night with your son. Unfortunately you are stuck there until the morning and will struggle to sleep. I would not personally bother with a confrontation tomorrow, if you want to talk it out, a few days need to pass at least. Though tbh, it seems more than he deserves.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 30/05/2016 01:46

Can you go and snuggle up with DS or on the sofa? Then in the morning see what your options are.

MindfulBear · 30/05/2016 02:10

Sounds like you and DS should take the living room tonight and the train home tomorrow.
Your DH is way out of order and deserves to be divorced for this.
Be careful. I would not get in a car with him tomorrow. In fact he should stay at his parents for a few days whilst he gets a grip and you can decide what next.

Original poster
StarThorn · 30/05/2016 02:52

He had the nerve to wake up, try to grope me and when I said no, say "I know we can't have sex but that doesn't rule out everything". Fuming is not the word. I really hope he remembers this in the morning. I am now on the sofa and am planning what to say in the morning. Angry

OP posts:
holidaysarenice · 30/05/2016 04:12

Record any more comments with your phone!