Am I unreasonable to be p***ed off with my daughter and her wedding?

[kathycraig79]

My daughter's wedding is this summer, we've been planning it together for months and we have genuinely had a good time doing so. However, my daughter is a vegan, and she is adamant that the wedding also must be vegan. This is fine with me, I support her wish and this is for her to decide. We sent the invitations (and I thought it would be a good idea to include the information about vegan catering on the invitations) and we have had many RSVPs basically saying they will not be coming if the food is vegan. I have to say this was unexpected, many of the family are quite traditional, meat-and-two-veg, but I did not expect this to be such a problem.

The thing now is that many of the guests are refusing to come, and my daughter is not willing to budge. I personally don't see the big deal in catering for everyone's tastes, it was a bloody nightmare to book the vegan caterer. I'm really getting frustrated, yesterday my daughter said she was thinking of cancelling the whole thing and thinks the guests are being unreasonable. Maybe I should not have put this information on the invitations?

Silken tofu is another option.

Feels a bit weird to have my comment from here on the DM! I know it's a public forum and so I wouldn't say anything I don't stand by, but it is rather invasive to have DM journalists just lifting stories - I wonder whether Mumsnet get a finder's fee by supplying stories?

To be honest, I would probably skip the wedding with that menu as well. It would not be about the food, it would be about the bride imposing her views on everyone else. I think that is what is happening, OP. It's really not about having a vegan menu.

Hmm I would say the starters and main were fine, and fried tofu is delicidelicious but not very filling. Does the mysterious main have any lentils or starchy veg or nuts in it? I used to know a vegan and went to a few vegan restaurants. I wouldn't say it was the most appetising food I had ever tasted, but it was fine. Indian vegan food is even quite nice!!

I meant starters and dessert

gosh, autocorrect, it is not thallium of course, it is baked thallium!

The menu seems perfectly fine to me, but I do agree that some people feel like this is my daughter not being very fair and catering for others. She can be slightly... 'militant' I guess. I hate describing her like that but I really don't think it is far from the truth. As I said earlier in the thread, she always expects a vegan substitute, and our family are probably just tired of feeling like they have to bow down and don't get the same thought in return. I do get the same feeling sometimes that some people with dietary requirements expect everyone else to kowtow to them but turn their noses up at doing the same for others. I just really don't want the day to be ruined by my daughter not being a bit more thoughtful.

Not thallium, halloumi! Baked halloumi!

Have t read the updates and sorry if this is already on here but have you seen this is now on the Daily Mail website?

Oh baked thallium. That makes all the difference

Haha x post!

You're now of Daily Fail fame MN might pull the thread for you, but not sure what you can do against the DM...

PMSL at halloumi autocorrecting to thallium.

Two things:

1. The menu sounds delicious, baked halloumi is gorgeous and really filling

1. Can you get vegan halloumi? What's it made from?

Halloumi?! That isn't vegan! It's made from goat and sheep milk... At least thallium IS vegan.

OP, nothing illegal in the DM publishing this story. You posted on a public forum. Sorry. I really hope that Kathy Craig isn't your real name.

I assume it's vegan Halloumi? although of course thallium is vegan too .

The menu looks fine. A nice herby oil based dressing would be good on the kebabs.

I had tofu in a Thai restaurant not so long ago. There were some nuts, herbs, chilli etc in the dish and it was very nice and filling too.

Oh, just Googled it, it's made from tofu, surprise surprise. Apparently its very convincing, just lacks the squeak of normal halloumi.

Surely halloumi is not vegan? Or is it a vegan halloumi substitute? Which I can only imagine would be tofu?

It is a halloumi substitute - we have just been calling it baked halloumi because it's easier. When my daughter was a vegetarian this was her favourite meal and the catering company said they could make a vegan substitute version using tofu - they said that we would not be able to tell the difference. I am skeptical, but my daughter will be trying the menu in a few weeks so will give it a go. If it's no good, she is going to have another think of some of the other options.

Thallium sounds much tastier than halloumi

Congratulations KathyCraig.

You've now made the front page of the Daily Fail website.

They've taken the bloody piss more times than a urology nurse.

Surely you can't serve tofu for starters and main course and expect it to be appetising.

FWIW I have a DD who is into vegan food, easy come easy go, but I think tofu doesn't appeal to everyone. whatever what you do it.

Curren made the same point, saying: 'Lots of vegans ate vegans for ethical issues and so would have conflict, feeding and paying for non vegan food,' she said.

I love that the Mail didn't correct the typo.

I feel sorry for your daughter! You can't cater to everyone's tastes, you get a choice of two or three meals and choose one at every wedding you don't ring up and say actually I don't like fish, ham or squash can I have chicken instead!

Could I just mention tempeh? Delicious stuff...

It's her day and she should have what she wants is my opinion. If this means that less guests attend, she will soon learn which people she should not have bothered inviting in the first place.

kathycraig79

Is that really all you are providing the guests?

Given the wide range of fresh, tasty vegan food that is out there and that you have dedicated vegan caterers that is a poor show.

Still no reason not to turn up, but I still believe that this is about more than the food.