To be fed up of feeling like I'm a second-class member of society

[Mummyme1987]

I had a serious car accident a few years ago, and have various medical complications too. I use a wheelchair. I'm fed up with this feeling that because I have mobility and medical problems, I'm not a full member of society. I overheard a now non friend imply that I was a drain on society because I don't work. Lately I've had issues with people talking over me, at a checkout I'm ignored and even though my hand is out for the change it's given to my husband. Little things like people moving my wheelchair so I'm facing the wall. Even moving me so I bash my toes. And then there is the parking issues, comments about being too young to have mobility problems, like being young stops car accidents. I've put on weight since the accident, so i get a lot of too fat to walk comments. Why do people do this? My family are fab, we have other disabilities in the family, and at home I don't feel this way. Im now finding I don't enjoy leave the house unless I have too. Im fed up with other people's attitudes. When I have talked to these people about the attitude, they always try to lay it at my feet with the dont be so sensitive, maybe you are depressed (I'm not), I'm actually really happy, I just am fed up with your attitude! Im not even sure why i am writing this but it has boiled ever today.

Morgan you are very welcome. Reading about your dropped kerbs it just makes me wonder what the heck is going on. Was ensuring that making it level giving a safer and smoother movement across the road too much to ask!

My DS1 has CF and is too ill to work, he gets too tired. But it's an invisible disability, so he's a "benefit scrounger". I'm quite deaf, I've had supermarket staff ram me in the backs of the legs with trolleys, then say "I did say excuse me." I respond with "I'm DEAF arsehole!"

I've been checking the petition about the disabled parking spaces,422 people have signed now.Has everyone else on here signed it?
I thought it would have had alot more attention by now after the poster that shared it in a couple of different places on Mumsnet,I guess it just goes to show what we've all been saying that not many people really care about those that are disabled.I think that's really sad in this day and age.

Does anyone else receive care from non-family members for themselves, spouse or kids? I wish there was a space for Generalized Carer Woe it's its own special subset of problematic.

Yes we have a PA via direct payments, 20 hours a month

Yeah I have PAs too. The struggle is real. It's such an odd relationship to have - they are not your friend, but often they are like a friend. Mine always bring professional issues into work that in other job roles and situations you'd leave at the door. Not that I'm not interested or don't have sympathy.

That's awks. But I get what you mean

Personal issues even, unprofessional personal issues

Does anyone find with things like hidden disabilities for example deafness (not always obvious) if you have children, people assume you must be lying because you can't have a disability and be a parent obviously

Needaclever I have people who think I'm faking my deafness because I can hear if I'm in a room face to face. I wearing hearing aids and HATE being in public because of it

People think you are faking if you stand after being in a wheelchair too.

PAs are hard to recruit here.

I have to face the people I'm talking to to understand them.

They still don't get it though because I look "normal" and I have children

Need yes I do,I'm supposed to be in my wheelchair all the time(or the hospital have threatened to make me stay in Bastards!)but I hate going in it because of other people's atitudes,but you can still see I'm disabled because of the way I walk now sadly,but in or out of the wheelchair and people still presume I'm not disabled and people tell me that's because of my face!
What the fuck that's supposed to mean I don't know as I'm positive not everyone who is disabled looks like they are disabled.

Or maybe I'm the one that's getting wrong maybe I was supposed to have sprouted an extra head when I became disabled.Other times people's reactions to me being disabled makes me feel like I should go around with a bell shouting unclean,unclean,I did suggest to my DH I could do that but he said No to that one,miserable sod won't let me have any fun

Thanks Ica for the link to the petition; I have signed it. I'm surprised and dismayed that more people haven't. Where is it being publicised?

It was set up by this group www.facebook.com/wantmyspacetakemydisability/?ref=ts&fref=ts
And they are trying to publicise it but not exactly sure how

Thanks, Ica. I'm not in Facebook so wasn't aware of the petition until you mentioned it on this thread. It could be worth the originators reaching out to disability support organisations and groups to see if they're willing to endorse the petition and publicise it to their members. Perhaps they've already tried that, though.

I mean I'm not ON Facebook - although I'm not IN it, either!

Morning all, I get my new wheelchair today so I have to try and get used to it being different. It goes faster and further than my current one which will be handy on holiday next month.

I employ pa/carers for about 8 years I've had it all! you name it. Agree there is very very limited support and information for disabled person trying sort. If you google or search books all you get is about 70% being a carer if your child has a disability or 30% becoming a carer if your parents need care due to age but advertising employing pensions law rotas payroll relationship million one problems bogall information you are on your own.

I'll ask Chris who set up the petition if he has tried that thanks burblish

I have to rely on friends/family/doing it myself as my SW/OT won't give me any help, I had to go to my MP to get them to move me to a wheelchair accessible property as I was in a first floor flat with no lift and internal stairs between living room/bedroom and kitchen/bathroom. I had to deal with that and the extra pain it caused for 13months before they moved me

About 25 years ago I used to work as a care assistant looking after disabled people , most were wheelchair users . We used to go into the local town shopping , I would push someone in their chair , it was always a nightmare , people parking on dropped kerbs , lack of dropped kerbs , roadworks where they hadn't taken into account the width of a wheelchair when making their little pedestrian route , meaning you had to walk into the traffic . We always had to walk past a firm of solicitors and very often there would be a big shiny Jag parked on double yellow lines , blocking the pavement so we had to struggle down the kerb and around into the very busy main road . One day I had had enough , I marched into the offices and asked them to move the car , apparently the owner couldn't because he was in a very important meeting . So I told them not to worry and I was sure we would be able to squeeze through the gap in our big metal wheelchair . We did manage to squeeze through , leaving rather a selection of scratches and small dents to the side of the Jag . Oddly it never parked there again !

Disclaimer : the wheelchair was not in any way damaged in this incident

We also used to go out a lot , together in a big gang , to the pub and clubbing , getting drunk , taking over the dance floor ! Getting back and discovering the joy of accesible toilets , me on my knees throwing up in the loo while my partner in crime ,in her wheelchair, held my hair back and threw up in the sink . When I think back I do wince slightly at the way we used to manhandle people out of chairs and into pubs/clubs that had steps , all at their insistance , health and safety would have had a field day , but God we didn't half have some fun

Frumpet you sound great you are hired!

Got my new chair and where it's faster I did a journey that used to take 35 mins only took 20