To be fed up of feeling like I'm a second-class member of society

[Mummyme1987]

I had a serious car accident a few years ago, and have various medical complications too. I use a wheelchair. I'm fed up with this feeling that because I have mobility and medical problems, I'm not a full member of society. I overheard a now non friend imply that I was a drain on society because I don't work. Lately I've had issues with people talking over me, at a checkout I'm ignored and even though my hand is out for the change it's given to my husband. Little things like people moving my wheelchair so I'm facing the wall. Even moving me so I bash my toes. And then there is the parking issues, comments about being too young to have mobility problems, like being young stops car accidents. I've put on weight since the accident, so i get a lot of too fat to walk comments. Why do people do this? My family are fab, we have other disabilities in the family, and at home I don't feel this way. Im now finding I don't enjoy leave the house unless I have too. Im fed up with other people's attitudes. When I have talked to these people about the attitude, they always try to lay it at my feet with the dont be so sensitive, maybe you are depressed (I'm not), I'm actually really happy, I just am fed up with your attitude! Im not even sure why i am writing this but it has boiled ever today.

Nobody's object about my post when I put someone called me a spastic. That's unfortunate perhaps.

Disabled people being "equally" I say that Because I'm sure being shouted you spastic seems far worse than walkie talkie when I'm guess large amounts of people in public will not hVe heard of it. That's bad form?

Google not bring forthcoming. So does it relate to disabled or non disabled still very confused!?

Given TAAT are frowned up, I'm not sure how to discuss it ?

Can someone PM then like to know incase it's used by other people or against me

Insensitive to people with invisible disabilities? BS. Probably able bodied people getting bent out of shape!

This is an interesting blog from the BBC Ouch! about different terminology used to describe people who do not have disability.

I've never heard that phrase either, don't really know what it means and don't know what it meant in the context of the OP

Today DD had a CT scan booked at the hospital. We arrived half an hour early as parking is tricky.
We ended up being half an hour late because there were at least 3 non blue badge holders in the parking bays. Parking attendants were going round ticketing the blue badge holders who had parked on the ends of rows and the double red lines in desperation but not the non badge holders.

Bishop how did your dd do with the scan?

Also wtf with those attendants???

Guys I'm meeting my new pulmonary Dr and I'm so scared :( I've got major anxiety

Thanks Mummy - when it's gone I'll repost carefully. The phrase was coined tongue in cheek when the disability rights movement really got going in the 80s and was I guess a shot across the bows of all those able bodied people using disabilist language - they felt they could 'label' people with disabilities so PWD sort of turned the table iyswim - ie how do you like being labelled ?Mike Oliver et al were amazing - they really changed the whole discourse around disability. Disability Studies became an academic discipline - the social model of disability vs the medical model entered the language. I was truly inspired .

Thanks for link. was expecting something amazing lol what lot fuss. Interestingly the situations where disabled ppl are prejudice against non disabled from a position of power authority and ability to harm got to be very slim?

That's shitty behaviour from the carpark people.

Dd has her uniform now. And shifts for next week. So pleased for her.

Just hope she can cope with the job in practice.

Here it is again. I'm now going to start another thread

Thanks for getting in touch.

We had quite a few reports about your thread. It descended rapidly into a bunfight, and the term 'walkie talkies' in your OP was a cause for concern amongst many MNers who found this to be quite offensive to those with hidden disabilities, so we felt it best all-round to remove.

Best wishes
Katherine
MNHQ

My hospital has 4 disabled bays then rest normal parking is mostly down massive slope into carpark. My carer makes me go down slope with brakes on manual chair even then it feels fast. Hope hospital didn't make a fuss. Do think hospitals wheelchair spaces should only be used if you need larger space. I know some people find it unreasonable if you use stick and in pain but if you are going walk 20m around the hospital then parking extra 10 metres away in normal spot would enable wheelchair user who can't get out the car at all to use it.

Akire - please don't lets start setting wheelchair user agsinst stick user. The real issue here is having enough blue badge spaces , well located. Let's fight for that. I can assure you that acfewextra metres for me can make a huge difference as to how I feel later on. That's why I get incandescent at the station as the bb spaces are so close to the entrance and make a huge difference to me on a daily basis

no fight intend I just went from walking all day on crutches to few metres to chair. So I could park to get pint of milk outside local shop and hobble in or would have had to come home.

If I went tescos it woulnt have mattered to me if in BB or not because I coulnt still physically walk from any car spot the hundreds of metes around the store or back.

Yeah... I need to open drivers door right up to get out on both feet (RA affecting right ankle particularly badly). Didn't have the chair today but did really need the space.

DD is food thanks, so brave. Needed to have dye injected into her neck then CT, they normally have to sedate kids but DD managed and was awesome.

Food? Good.

Bishop! Glad your dd did so well!

The ramp? BTW this is the ONLY Ramp onto this walk. Is IN a parking space! Had to wait until a lady left to leave

Adding my support to the thread even though I am not a wheelchair user.

An elderly relative left partially paralysed by a stroke was being taken back to a hospital stroke unit (after a day out) by a wheelchair accessible taxi, the taxi driver was told that he had no use of one arm and one leg and apparently forgot to stop at the main hospital entrance to get the barrier to the stroke unit lifted so that he could drive to the doors of the unit, so at the barrier the taxi driver said "I'll have to leave you here and you can wheel yourself to the unit" he fully intended to leave the relative at the barrier. Shift change in the stroke unit had already taken place so nobody would have gone anywhere near that area until the morning.

Hello everyone and adding my support to you all. I'm not a wheelchair user, but I always acknowledge and support anyone using one (should they wish) when I'm out and about.
Quite frankly I'm am sickened by the abuse that you write of here, we are all human beings, equal in all aspects of life , and this disgusting behaviour really shouldn't be happening.

For those of you commenting re states of pavements etc, have you heard of the www.fixmystreet.com/ ? you can report any problems to the council through it using photos and detailed descriptions, and because it goes through a 3rd party, the council - in my experience - seem to sit up and take notice quite quickly. I've used it several times, always with positive results.

Thanks sixtieschild I have just reported 3 things on one road. (They just redid the drop kerbs and they are higher than they were before and where the old and new paving joins is now a 1-2" drop)