To be fed up of feeling like I'm a second-class member of society

[Mummyme1987]

I had a serious car accident a few years ago, and have various medical complications too. I use a wheelchair. I'm fed up with this feeling that because I have mobility and medical problems, I'm not a full member of society. I overheard a now non friend imply that I was a drain on society because I don't work. Lately I've had issues with people talking over me, at a checkout I'm ignored and even though my hand is out for the change it's given to my husband. Little things like people moving my wheelchair so I'm facing the wall. Even moving me so I bash my toes. And then there is the parking issues, comments about being too young to have mobility problems, like being young stops car accidents. I've put on weight since the accident, so i get a lot of too fat to walk comments. Why do people do this? My family are fab, we have other disabilities in the family, and at home I don't feel this way. Im now finding I don't enjoy leave the house unless I have too. Im fed up with other people's attitudes. When I have talked to these people about the attitude, they always try to lay it at my feet with the dont be so sensitive, maybe you are depressed (I'm not), I'm actually really happy, I just am fed up with your attitude! Im not even sure why i am writing this but it has boiled ever today.

Mummy so pleased for your dd -hope it works out well.

I can't see them training her if it's a no? So I'm taking that as a yes. 😁

I agree they wouldn't train her if she hadn't got the job

Just hope she gets on ok. She needs clear instructions. Written is best.

They should do that as part of reasonable adjustments for her disability

Hope they do, she needs to earn money.

I have a heart condition called POTS. For the last three months I've had moments where my heart rate will hit 167 and be that way. Last nogt in the ER I finally discovered the cause. I'm having HOT FLASHES at 31!!! Ugh at least its not another heart issue ?

That's great Mummyme.

Hot flashes are great aren't they UnderaRock

I get them due to a hysterectomy and being taken off HRT, evening primrose oil helps (I get the 1000mg ones in sainsburys £4 for 90)

Oh bin how I love you.... Why leave bin where thers metre and half of pavement when you can leave it at the narrowest point. I was lucky they were empty as both sides effected and no drop curbs

"Mums need baby change - lets block up disabled loo with parents"

The shops shouldn't put a baby change unit in the disabled loo then, not really fair to have a go at parents for using the facility offered to them.

Also, for those complaining that people don't move etc - once a lady in a wheelchair yelled at me for "staring" at her and "deliberately" not moving. My dad has died the week before and I was zoning out wondering what on earth I was going to do about my grandmother as I couldn't drive and was having to get coaches and buses to see her. I burst into tears (I was a weakling teenager back then) & just kept saying sorry I didn't realise and she just swore at me muttering at me for being an "ignorant bitch". I never forgot that. Please just try and bear in mind that sometimes people just don't think, it's not right but yes sometimes you do have to ask people to move and yes I know in the ideal world you shouldn't have to. When I'm shopping with a trolley, people stand in the way. I say sorry but could I just get through. They don't mean to be in your way, people live in their own worlds.

I havnt had a go at parents have you not read the thread?? I was pointing out if there are 10 toilets for women' and one disabled. It shouldn't always be default just to put in the disabled one. It's just lazy business. But thanks for coming on here and making disabled people feel kicked yet again for pointing out things that would make everyone life easier. Cheers

Disabled people don't go about having a go and people but neither do we have constant supply of patience either. We have as much right to get rightly annoyed when it's the umpteenth time that day as you. We shouldn't moan incase we accuse key might hurt other people's feelings. But it's fine for us to be upset/ignored/not catered for long as we don't go on about it eh

Toomany the operative word in your post is "once". The experiences being described here are every single day, often multiple times a day.

I'm tired of being the one who always has to make allowances for other people's behaviour.

She said it better than me :)

Also, because now I'm pissed off:

You've come on a thread packed to the gunnels with first-hand experiences from people with disabilities which make us feel:
devalued
ignored
invisible
silent
second-class
less than
a problem
a nuisance
an irritation

You've read all that Toomany and you still want to tell us how we're wrong and why?

Seriously?

I've been called far worse for just existing. Had bottles thrown out car windows and being called a spastic.

Akire

Toomanymarsbars has - unknowingly - managed to validate this thread with a single post. Surely there's some sort of MN hall of f sh ame for that ?

* ~ slow hand clap for toomany * ~

Well done for comparing a relatively unusual experience for you to what us on here experience multiple times per day.

When you've had someone's arse almost meeting your face at least five times today before they stumble backwards, almost fall in your lap and yell at you for it (despite you not being the one walking backwards without looking) you'll be qualified to comment.

Sigh

The stupid thing is that "please bear in mind that sometimes people dont think" excuses your woman in the wheelchair too.
So maybe try taking your own advice? :)

Unless of course you werent including disabled people in "people"?

Toomany I always try to smile and engage the person but you have to remember some people are arses and just don't care. It wears you down constantly dealing with it. I'm very sorry your dad died but believe me most of the people who stare aren't recently bereaved. How do we know? Cos often it's accompanied by looks of disgust and comments. It's wearing.

*Toomanymarsbars, it is you who doesn't get it. Anyway, why should we consider able bodied people's feelings when it's painfully obvious that able bodied people couldn't give a shit about us?

For every one nasty disabled person, I could give you ten nasty able-bodied.