To be fed up of feeling like I'm a second-class member of society

[Mummyme1987]

I had a serious car accident a few years ago, and have various medical complications too. I use a wheelchair. I'm fed up with this feeling that because I have mobility and medical problems, I'm not a full member of society. I overheard a now non friend imply that I was a drain on society because I don't work. Lately I've had issues with people talking over me, at a checkout I'm ignored and even though my hand is out for the change it's given to my husband. Little things like people moving my wheelchair so I'm facing the wall. Even moving me so I bash my toes. And then there is the parking issues, comments about being too young to have mobility problems, like being young stops car accidents. I've put on weight since the accident, so i get a lot of too fat to walk comments. Why do people do this? My family are fab, we have other disabilities in the family, and at home I don't feel this way. Im now finding I don't enjoy leave the house unless I have too. Im fed up with other people's attitudes. When I have talked to these people about the attitude, they always try to lay it at my feet with the dont be so sensitive, maybe you are depressed (I'm not), I'm actually really happy, I just am fed up with your attitude! Im not even sure why i am writing this but it has boiled ever today.

Thanks thought your post was brill! People don't get why we cross not because we "can't share" or not patient it's always us get down graded.

Mums want take 4x4 on bus - let them use wheelchair space

Mums need baby change - lets block up disabled loo with parents

Mums need room in changing rooms- stick another sticker on disabled room job done.

When they could get rid of one or two cubicles out of 10 normal toileys and use that. Not saying everywhere one man band coffee shop of course multi use fine. Tescos and big out town centres usually have 20 loos and one disabled loo. You stuck outside for ages either because other disabled need (out town great for disabled If flat acess yet only usually one loo) then battle with baby change and anyone with pushchair or 3 kids.

Risked life and limb! There not even acess to park from road have to go up around dirt bit. I live in the biggest city in the UK and it's 2016!

Akire if I remember rightly you use an electric chair. I can only start to imagine how frustrating getting around must be. Dd is a manual wheelchair user and kerbs are one of the reasons she can't really go anywhere independently. (Hills are another though I can't really blame the council for our town's geography). As I have mobility and fatigue issues myself I can't always push her or need to go a long way round.

She is moving to 6th form in September so will lose her school transport. Transport for post 16 isn't mandatory. I have applied, been refused and am now appealing. I am not very hopeful though and just hoping that she does get her PIP so that we can afford taxis.

That was fantastic post Baconyum. Well done .

Oops pressed the angry bird instead of the flowers. Must put my glasses on! Though I was an angry bird on that thread!

This thread has been eye opening.

I'm not a wheelchair user, nor do I have much experience in this field however I'm astounded that people would be so rude. The moving the chair (you) is ridiculous. I feel lucky I've not witnessed this, if I did though I would definitely say something.

Dd is at job interview, so nervous for her. Autistic young adults aren't usually at front of the queue for jobs. Overlooked more often than a garden in London.

Yes power chair user which is great but like you say no good for any curbs. Post 16 education training transport all seem naff if you have disability. Even if do get PIP it prob cost you that plus more for taxis etc.

I'd love to get mobility car but because of power chair it cost between extra £4-10k deposit for larger car. Plus pay for ramps and locking systems and everything else. Even if did manage to save up say £10k in 6years you have to find it all again that's not going happen if using all DLA to pay for it every month. Mobility only seems much cop if you have disability that can be easily sorted on normal car ie hand controls or automatic anything more for chairs or scotters rubbish. Unless your loaded of course then the world is your oyster!

mummyme she got as far as the interview so far that's great. Did you disclose Disability so far?

Mummyme hope she does well. Fantastic that she got as far as an interview. (Ds has ASD not at the job stage yet though)

Yes disclosed, it's a friend of my uncles that owns the business so my uncle got her the interview. She's hopeful. Most other job interviews she has been to haven't gone so well. We tried not disclosing to get interview but it's so obvious the interviews are often cut short. Shortest one was 2 minutes! Yes McDonalds that was you!

When disclosing we only got one interview.

She had just text! She's staying until for for further training!!!!!!!!

Until four!

Fantastic sound positive

Fingers crossed.

So, this pops up on FB today:

Lapworth Museum of Geology at the University of Birmingham set to reopen.
The long-awaited reopening of the Lapworth Museum of Geology at the University of Birmingham will take place this Friday (10/06), following the refurbishment of the building and installation of new exhibits including a replica dinosaur cast.
Following an extensive £2.7 million refurbishment, visitors will be able to enjoy a state-of-the-art museum experience showcasing one of the UK’s most outstanding rock, fossil and mineral collections, through a range of innovative and interactive exhibits – all completely free of charge.
Exploring life over the past 3.5 billion years; from rocks and fossils to volcanoes, earthquakes, and even dinosaurs, the Museum will capture the imagination of all ages.
The redevelopment has been made possible thanks to a transformative Heritage Lottery Fund (HLF) grant of £1.5m and the generous support of University of Birmingham alumni, and a number of grant awarding bodies, trusts and foundations.
The Museum is situated in the University’s Aston Webb building on its historic Edgbaston campus, with access via the entrance on the University ring road.

Sounds fab. Look how proud they are of the amount of money they have spunked on it. £2.7 million.

So why have my spidey senses just tripped ? Notice the lack of any details about accessibilty. Not even a couple of words.

So, what's the next step ? Ah, the internet. The great egalitarian hope of the 60s. www.birmingham.ac.uk/facilities/lapworth-museum/visit/index.aspx

Hmm nothing immediately apparent on that page. I'm sure it's there, somewhere ... let's see what they say about parking

www.birmingham.ac.uk/contact/directions/getting-here-edgbaston.aspx

Ah - as expected (spidey senses confirmed) - fuck all about parking for blue badges, facilities for visually/mobility impaired visitors. And not a shred of recognition that anyone who isn't physically able might enjoy a trip.

To all the people who aren't disabled, that's a tiny tiny snapshot of the 21st century UK we live in.

Had an unfuriating day of being invisible today people believing they have bigger right of way and pushing past, most infuriating was the bus. As any W Users who get the bus know, you have to swerve round a bloody pole to get in place and the actual turn room is a very specific angle. It's a tricky manoevre. So there was a woman sitting on the end seat with bags on the floor and just kept looking at me like "What's THE MATTER? WHY DO YOU EXPECT ME TO MOVE? And the bus driver is waiting to go and I can't bloody get into spot because she's acting like I'm being unreasonable when my biggest worry was that if she didn't move I was going to roll over her bloody foot.

Should have just rolled over her foot then overdone the gushing apologies ending with but if your foot hadn't been there it wouldn't have happened

At school dd asks people to move out of the way three times with increasing volume. If they still don't move she just drives into them. Dd is actually a very quiet person but has concluded this is the only way to survive.
Quite sad that she is going to have to carry on doing this by the sounds of your experience EverySong

Fraid so Haud, you're more invisible as an adult than a child, it's weird. All the kindness that people extend to disabled children sort of goes overnight though nothings changed. I think that's particularly so for LD actually.

I think you are right about LD sadly.

Yes your right about child/adult. Where all inspiration porn about disabled adults? Zero cute disabled kids on charity fundraiser children in need, Red Nose Day- sports relief wallets are opening!

Still we got Paralympics to come looking forward to my 2 weeks of being smiled at in the street :)

She's going back tomorrow for more training. We think this means she has the job but she really didn't know. So pleased.

That's great Mummyme1987 - fingers crossed that the job's hers!