To be fed up of feeling like I'm a second-class member of society

[Mummyme1987]

I had a serious car accident a few years ago, and have various medical complications too. I use a wheelchair. I'm fed up with this feeling that because I have mobility and medical problems, I'm not a full member of society. I overheard a now non friend imply that I was a drain on society because I don't work. Lately I've had issues with people talking over me, at a checkout I'm ignored and even though my hand is out for the change it's given to my husband. Little things like people moving my wheelchair so I'm facing the wall. Even moving me so I bash my toes. And then there is the parking issues, comments about being too young to have mobility problems, like being young stops car accidents. I've put on weight since the accident, so i get a lot of too fat to walk comments. Why do people do this? My family are fab, we have other disabilities in the family, and at home I don't feel this way. Im now finding I don't enjoy leave the house unless I have too. Im fed up with other people's attitudes. When I have talked to these people about the attitude, they always try to lay it at my feet with the dont be so sensitive, maybe you are depressed (I'm not), I'm actually really happy, I just am fed up with your attitude! Im not even sure why i am writing this but it has boiled ever today.

On adaptations with no thought. Our local Pizza Express had a refit which included providing a disabled loo - up a steep, high step

You say "no" thought. I bet they paid a pretty penny to the architects.

A local cafe has done this too 😡

Disabled parking spaces with no dropped kerb......!!

Our local supermarket has no dropped curbs except for one place which is on the hill, and a very strange camber.

We do home shopping!

I was very temporarily off my feet and then on crutches for over a year. I thought having a niece in a chair made me aware...........hahahahahah.

The tiredness of have to prethink every single journey; the having to explain that no I can't just move 2 over: sit in a different seat; and just to hit another MN sore point having someone try to pressure me to move out of my booked airplane seat to 'allow' someone to sit together (This would have either meant me going into a middle seat and not been easily able to move and not freeze up or DP sitting in a different row; it wasn't till I asked which of them was going to help me to the loo that they backed off)

I really hadn't got a fucking clue.

Even now that steep high step would be very difficult for me still.

It's the pure lack of thought

Lack of thought as its not them I appreciate the support.

Aikir Thanks for these brilliant vidoe links!! Should be part of the National Curriculum. Probably not enough time, or not important enough, even though there are 11 million of us.

Glad you like they are old now the guy says can't wait to see from online dating!! Love lift bit my heart sinks when get to building and wheelchair symbol with arrow for exciting alternative route around back of building. Or worse when have speech problem and wheelchair user a intercome for help which you can't reach- not talk into.

As for lifts that no one knows how operate and make it right Royal specticulr of getting in there no thanks!

Heh.
Tussauds have offered us a free visit as compensation.

We're annual pass holders and get in free anyway.

I have the issue of being asked why all the time - I got ill and had complications which cause me a lot of pain but that's no ones business but mine! I've been called in twice after people reporting me for things I hadn't done (and physically couldn't do) just to freak me out. That's left me completely paranoid now! It also so hard being a disabled (step) parent and I wish there was a support group locally!

GreenGoth89 So sorry for what you have been through. Why not start your own 'Support Group'?

How is everyone today? 😊

Got my period, for some reason, instead of that just being that, I also have a massive headache, feel pukey and my left arm is numb and sore when I try to lift it at all.

My body continues to astound and amaze me with it's weird reactions to normal stuff.

Still, I'm pretty pleased with myself as I managed to take the kiddos swimming yesterday, then for a run around (while I sat on a bench watching) with those giant bubble wands, then for a really delicious meal which we all agreed was the best meal we'd ever eaten. We watched some Dr Who when we got home, and by watched I mean they did and I fell asleep promptly.

Only downer was that I had been washing bedding because my DC2 had an accident (I'd managed two quilts, one blanket and was going to change the sheets and put the bedding on fresh at bedtime) but my back was spasming by the time we got back, so I had to sleep on top of the towel and spare quilt and felt guilty for not managing to change the peepee bed. DC2 got the clean side of the bed of course and I liberally Febreezed it so there was no smell. I just hate when I can't do essential things because of pain, and I don't like to sacrifice kids stuff to do it either.

Sorted it out today now my back has had a rest and I've had a bunch of painkillers. Moved a trip to the cinema to tomorrow so I don't have to spend the whole time trying not to puke up, will find my anti-sickness pills if I still feel as bad in the morning tomorrow. And excited because my sister is travelling up to see me, and has offered to help me take my DC2 back to their dad's house so we can both go and see the new World of Warcraft movie together, which is something we rarely manage to do because of the distances between her and me, and me and my DC2s dad's house.

Sorry to hear that Name. I know that guilt/ hate of feeling that I should do more for the kids very well. If I use my pain patches at the top dosage then I'm not even on the same planet. It's a constant balancing act. Pain/ no sleep v being a parent that does things with kids. I always feel I'm letting someone down.

Bumping this up and saying I am gobsmacked at the treatment you have had an horrified

As part of beavers one of the badges is disability awareness and I make sure we cover it every two years to cover every beaver we have in so they learn

Think problems is disabled people are supposed to be extra considerate when other people get it wrong , down right rude and nasty sometimes because that may be their first "encounter" with someone like us.

The thing is we have to deal with people like them nearly every time we go out, so if we are less than 100% greatful , forgiving , patient we are stroppy kind. It's so draining to constantly feel like one man educational band!

Most of us aquire illness or disabilities as we get older so we know full well how it feels to be treated as "normal" and the lets talk extra slow, use baby words, use four word sentences or the look. Yes we can spot it a mile off!

Akire couldnt agree more. I was thinking of printing out leaflets for when people demand to know 'so whats wrong with you then?'

I'd love to say have you got your medical records with you so we can swop?

YANBU! I'm 31 and in a wheelchair. I've sat in check outs and they ignore me like I'm not even there!

Stores claim they are accessible but can't get my chair in. Women with prams get angry when I get on an elevator or bus.

I had someone me that I should go die and stop draining tax payers money :(

Akire I think some of that is all the inspiration porn that has come across in years. Now people think we exist JUST to be an inspiration. So if we are anything less than happy we're a useless disabled person.

The only time I have everever not balked at being called an inspiration was when a going man with a mental disability did so. He was so sweet and honest. Only time

Popped out to wilkinsons. Hate it when they do this. Ok so the pillar has to be there but I could try accessing either end and killing self to reach. But they always put pile stuff on the end so about 70% of that section is off limits. Arghh

Is that a display in the middle of an aisle? Wow they've got some real bls to pull that don't they?

I use a walker or a wheelchair depending on how I'm feeling. So so much of this thread is depressingly familiar.

I used my walker at my DC's school fair recently and as usual my children used me as a pack horse and piled all their recently bought goodies on it. I'm such a non- entity, so completely invisible that despite standing holding the handles of my walking aid someone started rifling through my stuff AS IF I WERE A FUCKING STALL.

So I killed them.

Well I gave them a hard stare.

People will move my walker out their way to access shelves in the supermarket. I'm holding onto it for support you wank badger! Get your goddamn hands off!

Sometimes it can be a couple of weeks between my even leaving my house as it's just so draining dealing with arseholes on top of dealing with pain/tiredness.

You are so right 0v0 I remember a few years back I was in my local wimpy before it shut down all fixed seating but fairly quiet so ventured in. Had to sit in one of the aisles as only way to reach table.

A woman wanted to pass to get further back (not sure why she coulnt have used the other aisle ) however she coulnt just you know ask me or cough or make attempt to squeeze past oh no. She has to go ask the staff to get me to move!!

I was so upset at the time wasn't long used to a chair it was just like I was left luggage they coulnt possible ask them themselves. I was inconvenience to be handled by staff only wobetide I was treated as a human being.