To be fed up of feeling like I'm a second-class member of society

[Mummyme1987]

I had a serious car accident a few years ago, and have various medical complications too. I use a wheelchair. I'm fed up with this feeling that because I have mobility and medical problems, I'm not a full member of society. I overheard a now non friend imply that I was a drain on society because I don't work. Lately I've had issues with people talking over me, at a checkout I'm ignored and even though my hand is out for the change it's given to my husband. Little things like people moving my wheelchair so I'm facing the wall. Even moving me so I bash my toes. And then there is the parking issues, comments about being too young to have mobility problems, like being young stops car accidents. I've put on weight since the accident, so i get a lot of too fat to walk comments. Why do people do this? My family are fab, we have other disabilities in the family, and at home I don't feel this way. Im now finding I don't enjoy leave the house unless I have too. Im fed up with other people's attitudes. When I have talked to these people about the attitude, they always try to lay it at my feet with the dont be so sensitive, maybe you are depressed (I'm not), I'm actually really happy, I just am fed up with your attitude! Im not even sure why i am writing this but it has boiled ever today.

There can't be a law against "inciting disability hatred" as the Tories would be guilty!

Exactly.

Hope tomorrow goes ok x

Just for balance, MrsLH and I went to see a stand up comic at a new (for us ) venue. (Most people on this thread will know why it's important to have familiar places to go).

Because I had booked tickets "blind" I needed to check the venue layout, and it turned out we needed to move seats (MrsLHs MS is playing up, so currently steps are out).

The staff were all lovely and could not have been more helpful. I am wary of personal details, but BIG UP for The Warwick Arts Centre.

Sara Pascoe was brilliant too .

As Russell Howards says: "It's not all doom and gloom"

Hate crimes and incidents are any crime or incident which is targeted at a victim because of the offender's hostility or prejudice against an identifiable group of people.

So any incident or crime, which is perceived by the victim or any other person to be motivated because of a person's disability or perceived disability will be recorded as such. This can be committed against a person or property.

From

www.report-it.org.uk/disability_hate_crime1

Threatening letters or other articles - Section 1 Malicious Communications Act, 1988
The Malicious Communications Act 1988 section 1, see Stones 8.20830, deals with the sending to another of any article which is indecent or grossly offensive, or which conveys a threat, or which is false, provided there is an intent to cause distress or anxiety to the recipient. The offence covers letters, writing of all descriptions, electronic communications, photographs and other images in a material form, tape recordings, films and video recordings. Poison-pen letters are usually covered.

From

www.cps.gov.uk/legal/a_to_c/communications_offences/

Plus the police like cases where it's easy to get evidence - like fingerprints, dna (bet they were in a licked envelope).

LH glad you and mrsLH had a good time and big up to the arts centre

Everyone else and keep on keeping on.

I've just read the full thread and I'm so sorry for the shitty attitudes and behaviour many of you had to face in day to day life

My Mum had a back injury recently and had to use a wheelchair for a little while, she got funny looks or ignored totally and she was one of the most confident women and it broke my heart to see her so upset and hurt because of shop assistants ignoring her (that's if she could get in them) or people looking at her funny. The injury and resulting pain she could kind of handle but the emotional stuff was hard for her.

For her it was temporary and very mild in comparison the other posters. She's much better now but I'm so sorry you are all facing this shit for the whole time. Some people are utter cunts.

I'm glad this thread is still going. A couple of things have really driven home the second class citizen thing for me lately.

The first is that utter cunt Glenn Hoddle, commentating on the England football match. That's the same Glenn Hoddle who said that disabled people are being punished for an evil done in a past life. Now Ron Atkinson made some racist remarks around the same time and he has (rightly) been chucked out of public life. No one gives a shit about offending disabled people though.

The other thing is this bloody "Me Before You" film. People wittering on about how romantic and lovely it is. Because you know, disabled people are just useless, they may as well be dead. And the really good noble ones, well they decide to be euthanised and save us all a lot of trouble. Mick Scarlett on BBC's Ouch podcast has done a brilliant interview on the subject.

Regarding the whole hate crime thing, I do believe sending malicious letters saying unkind things even without threats would constitute as harassment if it occurs repeatedly, and I know the police deal with harassment.

I hate to think of someone receiving so much vitriol without having any recourse. I would report it because I would be afraid about the motivation behind it, like when I was receiving horrible messages from an ex, I was concerned for my safety. They couldn't act immediately, but they could log it and thus I was protected from any future possible crime.

Today I am mostly feeling frustrated because my wheelchair was stolen a couple of weeks ago and I could really do with it to take the kids out to the swimming pool. Who steals a wheelchair, eh?

Hello everyone, and thanks to those who've drawn our attention both to this thread, and to issues with accessibility here on the site. It's something that we've been aware of for a while, and in fact we've recently done a full audit of the site's accessibility. We didn't actually do too badly compared to lots of sites - but we want and need to be better, and we're right now bashing out a plan of attack. It's a big job and realistically, might take us a while - but we'll do what we can to make MN as easy to use as possible, for as many people as possible.

Thanks again,

MNHQ

Namechange I'm so sorry - bastards!

Mnhq thanks can you keep us updated with that?

MNHQ
How refreshingly open and honesty with no excuses! Well done and as bacon said, please keep us posted.
Thanks very much

With the letters please report them,my DH is a Police Officer and they should take it seriously.All Police Forces are supposed to have got better(had a real kick up the arse)after the Papers reported about the Poor Mum who was disabled took hers and her Daughters(her Daughter was also disabled)life because of all the abuse they'd received where they lived because of being disabled.They found that the Police Force there had really let both the Mum and her Daughter down.

Namechange that is beyond sick,what sort of person steals a wheelchair!I hope you've reported it and I hope they get the sick sod and lock them up.
If you get intouch with the Red Cross you can hire a wheelchair for £20(that's how much I paid),I hired one years ago before I got mine.
Here's a link for them
www.redcross.org.uk/Where-we-work/In-the-UK/Southern-England/Berkshire-Buckinghamshire-and-Oxfordshire/LocalServices/Mobility-aids?dpid=44e6b709-0b1c-42aa-8ef2-085c1bc66c4c

Another idea they say they now sell reconditioned equipment as well,it should be alot cheaper than a shop.
Also try places like free ads,Gumtree,Ebay,Pre Loved,Friday Ads,some people give items like wheelchairs away for free when they're no longer needed or they sell them on very cheaply.

For the poster who received the awful letters.
My DH has just told me this(he's a Police Officer)The letters you have received would be classed as a Hate Crime as it is continued harassment to a person with disability under the Equality Act of 2010.

I hope that helps.x

I am so glad this thread was started. DH, my two dcs and myself are all disabled in different ways. We haven't had the outright abuse that some of you have suffered. It is horrible to read about.
We have however had inappropriate questions and comments and the sheer frustration of trying to live in a society which assumes everyone is able bodied.
Dd and I were talking the other night about why there is so much hatred for disabled people. I think some of it is a visceral fear of that which is different which underlies some racism and homophobia too. As several pp have pointed out anyone could become disabled in an instant. I think this makes some people 'protect' themselves by blaming and despising the disabled people they encounter, due to an unacknowledged fear that they too could become disabled.

NoHaudin I agree with you and I think you're right wrt a visceral fear. I've read a few blogs about it over the years from the perspective of carers and the reaction they get when they take their disabled partner/child/friend out and about. People do quite literally recoil in horror.

I think you have hit the nail on the head. It's fear that it might be them.
I'm so pleased mnhq have answered. And have a plan of action. Well done mnhq.

Don't get me started on that damn book and film. I was given the book and I started reading it completely unaware of the sting in the tail. It is introduced so suddenly I actually felt sick. I looked to the back of the book and read the last bit in horror. And the way it's being advertised on to makes me sick.

With health professionals, where there has been a frankly appalling attitude to disability at times, I think there is the frustration and powerlessness of being faced with a problem which they can't cure or even help much.

I'm glad this thread has helped people come together and get support and educate others.

Was going to take the kids to Tussauds tomorrow. We're Annual Pass holders.
But being as the lift is out of order, has been over a week now and they don't know how long it'll take to fix it we can't.

(There's more than one lift, with a bit of imagination they could amend the route but hey)

I sometimes think it's arrogance from Drs who haven't helped. It's easier to blame the patient for not getting better. I've had frankly awful things said to me by Drs. Suggestions that I must be faking it or if I just tried harder, rather than realising it's real and I am doing all I can. It's just part of an attitude towards disabled people, like we choose this way to be.

That's not on. Our local cinema lift was broken for weeks too. I complained. Still didn't get fixed.

Not that I have a social life but we like to have a date night once in awhile.

Hospital today was same as usual. Way blocked and the usual excuses and apologies but each time the stuff is still there.