To be fed up of feeling like I'm a second-class member of society

[Mummyme1987]

I had a serious car accident a few years ago, and have various medical complications too. I use a wheelchair. I'm fed up with this feeling that because I have mobility and medical problems, I'm not a full member of society. I overheard a now non friend imply that I was a drain on society because I don't work. Lately I've had issues with people talking over me, at a checkout I'm ignored and even though my hand is out for the change it's given to my husband. Little things like people moving my wheelchair so I'm facing the wall. Even moving me so I bash my toes. And then there is the parking issues, comments about being too young to have mobility problems, like being young stops car accidents. I've put on weight since the accident, so i get a lot of too fat to walk comments. Why do people do this? My family are fab, we have other disabilities in the family, and at home I don't feel this way. Im now finding I don't enjoy leave the house unless I have too. Im fed up with other people's attitudes. When I have talked to these people about the attitude, they always try to lay it at my feet with the dont be so sensitive, maybe you are depressed (I'm not), I'm actually really happy, I just am fed up with your attitude! Im not even sure why i am writing this but it has boiled ever today.

Or the disabled toilets that aren't big enough to close the door with a wheelchair in? I've always wanted to pee with the door open so thank you for sorting that bucket list wish out for me . Or the chain so high you can't reach it?

I love the idea of keeping this going. I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy inside about this now.

Or the door so heavy to open I was inside for an hour before I was let out. And the coat rail opposite the door so it took me ages to move around that once dh found me after banging on door for ages. I often have ibs issues so long toilet visits aren't uncommon but after an hour he came looking for me. It was a hotel in their wedding venue bit. Not a happy bunny. Did send a snotty email the next day which told them all their failings. Got a standard of course we are sorry but it was just this one time crap. Like every other day it's a different door!

Noone has ever dared to move me! Thinking about it, neither did i ever get told not to breast-feed somewhere. I must give out a very scary vibe

Though honestly, i think the reason people are so nice here re disability is because on a council estate, there are probably more people around who claim dla/pip/esa than average.

The shops/restaurants/pavements/parking/toilets still leave a lot to be desired though...

LH that is truly shocking, and thank goodness you had some good, helpful staff that treated MrsLH with respect!

Akire YY to small sinks, and also hand dryers that are really high up the wall. When you hold your hands under it, the water runs down your arms and drips off your elbows/into your sleeves.

My DH works is a tiler/bathroom fitter and as such has worked in lots of new builds. The regs say that the doorways have to be wide enough to allow a wheelchair access, so in the downstairs loo, you could get into the doorway, but often no further due to the design of the room (where he often sees the toilet is situated at the end and the sink on the wall before it).

I was making a 3 hour train journey once ( which as a wheelchair user you can't just do, you need to let them know at least 24 hrs in advance), and found that there was no working toilet. Able bodied people were able to walk to the next carriage to the toilet there, but as there was only 1 accessible and it wasn't working I had to put up with it.

I suffer terribly with toilet issues and get no warning, so when I need to go, I need to go. Their solution was to tell me that I could use a toilet on one of the 3 railway stations we were stopping at if I let the guard know (they ignored the fact that I said that I don't KNOW when i'll need the toilet). When I asked the guard he got me off at the next station, and the porter RAN down the platform pushing me. I was truly scared. The conductor had to ring through to our final stop to say that the train would be late. I'd booked my ticket 2 months in advance, so they can't say they weren't expecting me.

Another time there were 4 wheelchair users wanting to get on the train but not enough spaces, so one woman had to stay behind!!!

LH that is truly shocking,

Aye, maybe. But it was also pretty much the default advice for disabled women in the not-so distant past. Along with helpful suggestions about sterilisation.

I make no apologies for (re) posting this picture. It's not from a novel, or a film. It's from real life. The writing says:

60,000 Reichsmark is what this person suffering from a hereditary defect costs the People's community during his lifetime. Fellow citizen, that is your money too. Read '[A] New People', the monthly magazine of the Bureau for Race Politics of the NSDAP.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Action_T4

O.M.F.G

Wtf

Don't let the Tories see that poster. It will give them ideas.

Don't let the Tories see that poster.

Where do you think I got it ? Not all Tories are anti-Europe you know ...

and, just today

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-36424714

A blind man has said he was "incredibly disappointed" to be turned away from a restaurant because his guide dog was deemed a "hygiene risk" by the manager.

(contd)

("What do you think of disability equality ?"

"I think it would be a good idea")

😡

Keeping thread going for night owls.

Yes it definitely has got worse particularly with the Tories spouting shite, channel 5 benefit bashing, actually make that msm benefit bashing channel 5 are just more honest about it!!

Divide and conquer!

this is such a good thread (thank you op)
it really makes me see it from my adult childs point of view.
don;t feel I can post as its not me thats affected......but the dentist that said.....people like you (and yep patted her on the head) thats a dentist that is there for people with sn...my dd is an adult who understands everything.

BishopBrennansArse can we meet up soon

I too have found things have been worse since the Conservatives have been in power. Just a general attitude change. People muttering about scroungers and when I give them a look, "Oh, I don't mean you."

I just find it very exhausting. Particularly the lack of accessibility, or even when somewhere has level access there are often items blocking aisles, or things just in the way. It takes so much concentration and energy to be out just to get around in the wheelchair.

I have also got anonymous hate mail. No idea who from, but says things like I'm drain on society, a burden, and should get my lazy arse back to work and stop sponging off society. That I can obviously walk fine. That I have no dignity. Each one goes on for pages and pages like this.

I'm rarely able to leave the house - and when I do it's usually to medical appointments, and use an electric wheelchair, so not sure quite how they've decided this!

Oh Glitternails, that's so horrible about the anonymous hate mail - I can't even begin to fathom how someone could be so cruel. to you. Just unbelievable.

Glitternails that's not only utterly disgusting it's a hate crime!! Bastards!

Good point Baconyum

Checking in today.

I had a nice man go and speak to the train people yesterday. I have to travel to collect my DC and it's a three switch journey that takes a few hours.

On the last switch there was a delay and I'd already been travelling for about six hours and taken both DC to cinema and lunch. I was in so much pain (I'm mobile enough to walk, but I was starting to get spasms all over my body and having head nods I was so tired) and we didn't really know what was going on.

The time went from a twenty minute delay, finally getting on the train, to that train cancelled and everyone get off, now we all have to wait for the next train (they're hourly), then that train was delayed (a jumper unfortunately) and the delay kept increasing and increasing. We're only about fifteen minutes by car from the next station but they say no to taxis.

So this guy seeing my discomfort says if I would watch his stuff for him in the waiting room, he'd talk to them about my situation and try and get them to put taxis on. To save me trying to walk with two tired kids whilst in pain myself over to the next platform. It didn't get us anywhere, we still had to wait, but he didn't just do it for me, he asked and he wanted me to help him too, and I felt like it was a much more positive interaction than I am used to. I didn't get treated like a child, if that makes sense.

I've only read half of this thread and I am FUMING! How can people be so ignorant and disgusting and rude and cruel?! I want to punch them all in the face, and I'm really not a violent person.

To everyone who has to put up with this utterly vile behaviour, I am so sorry on behalf of the 'human' race.

I'm a wheelchair user myself. Luckily the only time anyone has ever been rude to me is on online dating sites. Someone said they'd rather kill themselves than be like me, that they didn't wanna be a full time carer, that they would be ashamed to be seen with me and their mates would laugh. I won't tell you what I responded back haha :) I had someone ask if I wore nappies () and of course you get everyone asking if you can have sex which really annoys me.

Sorry to hear you've met people like this in real life

I'm a wheelchair user myself. Luckily the only time anyone has ever been rude to me is on online dating sites. Someone said they'd rather kill themselves than be like me, that they didn't wanna be a full time carer, that they would be ashamed to be seen with me and their mates would laugh. I won't tell you what I responded back haha :) I had someone ask if I wore nappies () and of course you get everyone asking if you can have sex which really annoys me.

Sorry to hear you've met people like this in real life

Do people other than teenage boys still ask if you can have sex?? I'm stunned! I get the thinking disabled people couldn't possible want a sex life (sort-of) but do people think they sew it up upon delivery of wheelchair!

On similar note my dentist rarely asks me if I may be pregnant upon on X Ray. Think I've had 10 X Ray's last few years and she's asked me twice. Luckily if I was I'd know to say but it's assumption that disabled = no sex life is disappointing. Not to mention her legal duty