To want to tell this Ridiculous competitive parent to shut the hell up

[Choccybadger]

There is a parent at my childrens' school who winds me up so much I am struggling not to explode in an undignified manner.
I have tried to keep my distance at the gates, in playground etc but she always makes a beeline for me.
She knows we have been house hunting for a while as it comes up sometimes and my kids tell their friends what they did at the w/end.
Most of our conversations go like this.
Her: have you found a house yet?
Me: no, not what we're looking for just yet.
Her: our house is on the market too. We've been offered £xx for it but not sure whether to take it as think it's worth more. Our house is so amazing you know.
Me: lovely. Hope you find something.
Her: we've decided to wait til next year as my partner will move up so so much in salary and bonus and will be able to buy a £1m house just with his bonus. It's just so much easier to find something decent over the £1m. Everything else is a bit shit

Me: great.
Her: yeah, we will just have SO much money. You know, we've just bought the £70k car, having a £15k holiday because we know how much money we will have. It's embarrassing. What's your budget? How much does your husband earn?

Now, we don't do too badly but I feel very uncomfortable talking about money like this with someone I barely know. I find it quite rude to keep talking about it and also to suggest that anything anyone buys for less than £1m is crap. That's not the case. We don't live in London and our part of the world doesn't have the highest prices.

It doesn't stop there. Literally every time shd speaks to me she tells me how gifted her children are and she's been told they are "amazing" at something or other. The way she puts it sounds as though she is putting my kids down, my youngest in particular.
I get the impression it's personal, that she's not like this with other mums.
How can I politely but firmly tell her I just don't care and actually find it rude, uncomfortable and belittling as well as hating the barbed comments about my kids in relation to hers?

What's your job. How much does your husband earn. Never mind competitive shes a nosey gloating bitch.
Probably waiting for you to say. "Oh my husband is on the dole".

My parents have a friend like this. Endlessly competing about everything and anything - time hasn't improved it, 50+ years of friendship and the friend is now madly competitive about grandchildren.

My Mum avoids her as much as possible (my Dad and the DH went to school together and have a shared hobby) and just nods and smiles a lot.

I don't think you have to be mean. Just ignore the boasting and be friendly. Them you might discover the real person underneath it all.

Next time she asks what price house you're buying, just smile and breezily say "Oh, about six million. It's so hard to find anything in our price bracket around here." Then immediately change the subject so she can't question you. That'll knock the wind out of her sails.

Stupid is as stupid does.

Pride goes before a fall.

Money isn't everything.

I'd have told her that we were old money and had millions stashed away in trusts and investments. We don't like to be vulgar and ostentatious about it, though.

Next time she mentions engineering her child's friendship group to match her intelligence I'd pat her on the arm and say "Oh don't worry too much, she'll catch them up eventually".

Competative Mum at DS's school hasn't spoken to me since so it works (I'd known her since NCT, everyone has a snapping point!).

I had a friend like this too, all she spoke about was what she was buying next, money, holidays, cars etc. It was so boring.

I didn't need to know to the penny how much her DH and she earned, how much she did had left on her conservatory and car loan. The thing was my DH earned more than the two of them together something I never told her despite her asking.

It's just insecurity, just go mmm and change the subject.

I'd try and engage with other parents on the playground and be talking with them. Or else be deeply on your phone when you see her approaching.

Laugh, hold your hands up and say 'congratulations! You're the winner at everything' and hand her a chocolate medal. Or a crown and do a courtly curtsey every time you see her.

I had someone brag once that they lived astonishingly close to Mayfair.
It was Brixton.
And I couldn't give a fuck either way

Some people are weird.

"Money talks....wealth whispers"

She lacks class

Well indeed Only

Tell her that you you only buy houses over £5m. Because anything under that is a hole.

Maybe she genuinely doesn't realise how vulgar and tedious all her bragging is?
Don't sink to the level of being bitchy or cruel to her no matter how tempting it is... Perhaps change the focus of conversation completely next time you meet? Like "the kids and I were thinking of helping out at the homeless soup kitchen on Sunday. I let you know how it goes, or your welcome to join us!"
And then if she said yes, I'd seriously go along and do it. Sometimes when people see another side of life, they see themselves differently. It could sow a seed of change in her mind.
Yeah I know it's far out.

I like it agent .... it could just work

I think she sounds lonely, I bet the other Mums avoid her, and you're lovely so she's made a bee-line for you.

It's kind of the adult equivalent of "please be my friend".

Please don't say anything snippy. I bet if you were a fly on the wall her life is crap in myriad ways.

The best way to get rid of someone in on the school run is to sell raffle tickets/recruit for manning tombola stall/delivering school fete flyers etc.Try to make her do something annoying each time she sees you. Or change the subject to your husband's hernia op or something dull and gross.

I work in investment banking, she is bullshitting. There are very, very few £1m+ bonuses being handed out these days, he certainly wouldn't be able to guess a year in advance how much he might get the next year. Statistically he is more likely to be handed his P45 - ask her what percentage of redundancies they are making in his bank this year, because every single one of them are. That will shut her up.

Say 'that's nice' after every comment she makes, then say 'did i tell you, my dh bought me elocution lessons recently. I used to say FUCK OFF, but now i just say that's nice'. The turn and walk away.

Start calling her cha ching, she'll (probably not) get the message..

edwin That was my first thought but it's not totally impossible if he's senior and v good and has got a lot of 3 or 5 year stock vesting in 2017, especially if the stock increased in value a lot over that time. That's a lot of "ands" and "ifs" though

Ouch! MrsK!

*I think she sounds lonely, I bet the other Mums avoid her, and you're lovely so she's made a bee-line for you.

It's kind of the adult equivalent of "please be my friend".

Please don't say anything snippy. I bet if you were a fly on the wall her life is crap in myriad ways.*
This is probably it.

It wouldn't be surprising if she's lonely She's not a five-year-old who doesn't know about social norms.