To want to tell this Ridiculous competitive parent to shut the hell up

[Choccybadger]

There is a parent at my childrens' school who winds me up so much I am struggling not to explode in an undignified manner.
I have tried to keep my distance at the gates, in playground etc but she always makes a beeline for me.
She knows we have been house hunting for a while as it comes up sometimes and my kids tell their friends what they did at the w/end.
Most of our conversations go like this.
Her: have you found a house yet?
Me: no, not what we're looking for just yet.
Her: our house is on the market too. We've been offered £xx for it but not sure whether to take it as think it's worth more. Our house is so amazing you know.
Me: lovely. Hope you find something.
Her: we've decided to wait til next year as my partner will move up so so much in salary and bonus and will be able to buy a £1m house just with his bonus. It's just so much easier to find something decent over the £1m. Everything else is a bit shit

Me: great.
Her: yeah, we will just have SO much money. You know, we've just bought the £70k car, having a £15k holiday because we know how much money we will have. It's embarrassing. What's your budget? How much does your husband earn?

Now, we don't do too badly but I feel very uncomfortable talking about money like this with someone I barely know. I find it quite rude to keep talking about it and also to suggest that anything anyone buys for less than £1m is crap. That's not the case. We don't live in London and our part of the world doesn't have the highest prices.

It doesn't stop there. Literally every time shd speaks to me she tells me how gifted her children are and she's been told they are "amazing" at something or other. The way she puts it sounds as though she is putting my kids down, my youngest in particular.
I get the impression it's personal, that she's not like this with other mums.
How can I politely but firmly tell her I just don't care and actually find it rude, uncomfortable and belittling as well as hating the barbed comments about my kids in relation to hers?

SHe sounds unhappy and trying to convince herself that having money is a good substitute.

You're probably the only one that listens to her because other people got fed up of her. That's why she makes a beeline for you. You have to say something if it's winding you up that much.

I'd have just 'well like 99.5% of the population I'll be living in a crap house then' and walked off to talk to someone else. I'm not sure I actually believe anyone could be that rude/ ridiculous tbh.

I had a mum at school like this. It was mainly boasting about her DD but it used to give me the rage. In fact thinking about it still does. We fell out spectacularly during a meal out with other school mums. Do not do that.

I remember my mum proudly telling a parent I had passed my Grade 8 in bassoon.
The other parent replied her daughter had a Grade 9. Grade 9 does not even exist.

mrgrouper

"How much does your husband earn" would have me exploding. Who the fuck measures their worth by someone else's income!

There was a woman, when dd1 was about 3, who took her child to the same dance class and she was like this although on a "cheaper" scale (made £100k on the house, can't believe how much this years bonus is, blah blah)

I don't get why people have so little self worth they think it's acceptable. Best to pity them I guess.

I would just turn up for pick up as late as possible so I didn't have time for chatting.

I certainly wouldn't throw any of the "witty" one liners at her unless you want to create a nasty atmosphere.

I would just avoid her.

If she asks again how much your DH earns or what your house budget is then just reply that you were brought up to think that money talk was terribly common.
Then stifle a yawn!

You need some polite but neutral phrases e.g.

"Well if we all liked the same things, the world would be a dull place."
"That's nice for you/them."
"I prefer not to talk about that. The weather has been nice/awful/etc lately, hasn't it?"

I'd feel sorry for her, she sounds massively insecure!

Like the Penguins of Madagascar 'smile and wave,' while backing away from her.

*I would just turn up for pick up as late as possible so I didn't have time for chatting.

I certainly wouldn't throw any of the "witty" one liners at her unless you want to create a nasty atmosphere.

I would just avoid her.*

So basically you would hide yourself away because of a silly, rude woman? She needs to be told that her behaviour is bonkers and that the op isn't interested. How can you have a nasty atmosphere with someone you don't like?

"Wow." Flat and uninterested to every single boast that comes out of her mouth. Just, "Wow."

Do not otherwise engage.

Laugh at her.
She's trying waaay too hard to impress you. Why? When did you become the Queen of Impress Me? If I was there I'd butt in and outdo her with something outrageous and obviously not true.

I've seen my dp do this, it's beautiful:

"Can I just stop you there?"

-walks off-

I've never had the courage to do it myself, I'm waiting for my moment.

One of the mothers at DD's school is terribly competitive about her children - she doesn't work and spends all of her time focussed on them and their achievements, plus socially engineering them to be friends with the "right" children . She would bang ON and ON and ON about how brilliant her son was at sport. Every single sport he tried he was the best, he was being spotted by various clubs who all wanted him to play, she'd take him to sports nutritionists miles away, same with her daughter at hockey - she was playing in the U16As and absolutely brilliant etc. I work full time and am busy and don't need to get my glory from DD's achievements. So I just put a picture of her playing at the Nationals in her chosen sport on Facebook without having mentioned that she'd gone. She hasn't spoken to me since.

Just mention in passing that you always thought that "old money" is better than "new money".

i take it thats not verbatim? wow! if its even roughly what she said - asking your husbands salary!

I think she sounds either massively insecure or a complete twat - only you can decide which from the nuances of her behaviour, and either way I'd pity her. I'd gently ignore her comments and change the subject/walk off rather than getting actively involved in tit for tat at 8am, you'll just feel shittier.

I have family like this. Wanted to know what hubby-to-be earned (good profession, not banker) and couldn't understand why he wouldn't engage. It was alien to them. Some people just don't find money talk offensive, usually ones who are obsessed with money and possessions, but they don't usually deserve vitriol however fucking infuriating and invasive the conversation is. Pity with a smattering of subject change usually does the trick.

Ask her earnestly whether she's voting remain or leave.

i find talking about bees helps i can go on and on for hours with tales about my granddad the bee keeping vicar it gets rid of chuggers and the overly religious too

Strike my advice, go with mumoseven. Brilliant!

Reading this reminds me of a Harry Enfield character.