AIBU to expect my daughter to eat what I make for her?

[onehappymummy]

Hi, not posted here in forever but had a bit of a discussion with my husband this evening and it seems that we disagree massively on this topic. I am wondering if it's a cultural difference (he is from abroad) or perhaps a class one (I'm from a working class background, he went to private school).

So, I was brought up being told "you eat what you are given or you go without". My parents would make small allowances to foods I particularly dislike (I was allowed to pick out of the mushrooms from the bolognese) but otherwise I had to eat it if regardless (I recall weekly having to eat gammon, cabbage and something else that I disliked). I will now eat anything that is given to me, and consider it rude not to eat a meal someone has made for me, even if I dislike it.

My husband believe that if you don't like it then you don't eat it. We argued today because I made mild chilli with rice for me and my daughter, he said she wouldn't eat it as she doesn't like rice or anything even mildly spicy (it was very mild). I told him I wasn't making something else and he then lectured me on letting our daughter stave. She ate half of it (enough given I gave her plenty) then said she didn't like it. I then questioned him on if someone made him a meal not knowing his likes and dislikes, would he eat it? He said "no". I told him I would consider that rude. He got annoyed at me and made me feel like I was being really unreasonable.

So, in summary, I would like to know if:

AIBU to expect my daughter to eat the food she is given?
AIBU to think that if someone makes you a meal it is rude to not eat it? (within acceptable grounds - not feeding meat to a vegetarian or something someone has a genuine allergie or intolerance for).

Every shed I've ever been in had spiders Bill. Apparently they taste like hazelnuts.

Oooh, I quite fancy a spider now. This is a new pregnancy craving. I'm imagining little wiggly legged balls of Nutella.

YNBU ...everything in moderation. I think it's ok to expect a child to try new food/dishes. You say DC is not keen on rice but that just maybe a certain dish if cooked/given in a different dish it may change her mind & broaden her tastebuds. I remember being adamant I didn't like something but when was given it again I did get a taste for it (although I had to carry on saying I didn't like it as a stroppy kid would do...digressing sorry)

I get the sense a distinction needs to be made between foods eating foods that you'd prefer not to and eating foods that you can't stand.

As a kid I hated to eat eggs and bananas - even the smell made me feel ill and I would have gone without food for a long time before eating them. My parents were aware of this and never served me these particular foods.

I also disliked a whole host of others foods including a lot of veg and basically all fish and given the choice would have avoided them - but if I was hungry enough I would accept them as better than nothing so when I was served them I ate them in the knowledge that I couldn't just refuse and be offered snack food later.

YWBU to force your child to eat food she genuinely hates but given you claim she ate half the serving which you say is a reasonable amount of food she clearly doesn't hate it that much so I would say YANBU.

Just had to add my DP also doesn't like bananas so avoid them being anywhere near him however when his annoyed me i leave them out in his presence