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AIBU?

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Original poster

Or is the bloke I spilt my latte on

262 replies

Rowanhart · 24/05/2016 17:55

Getting on train today, when someone bumps me on their way past. I dropped my costa coffee (latte, 10 mins old) on table and some split on man's paper, sleeve of jumper and one splash on trousers

Me: oh god I'm very sorry'
Man: 'for Godsake'
Me: so sorry, are your hurt'
Man: 'No I'm messy'

Train bloke with trolley comes over with napkins.

Me: 'so sorry (takes napkins, starts cleaning up.'
Man: 'Can do it myself, stupid cow'
Me: 'okay, well I am sorry'

10 minutes later trolley man comes over and asks for mobile number, name and address as man has put incident in accident book. I ask if details will be passed to man and he says not sure so I refuse.

Then coffee man comes over and demands details. I still refuse. Pretend to get off at next stop and get back on 2 carriages down.

Trolley man comes down, spots me and again asks for details. I refuse and he says transport police may be called. They are not and I get off at destination.

Should I have given my details?

OP posts:
Radiatorvalves · 24/05/2016 21:46

Slightly off topic but a deranged idiot knocked my son off his bike by opening his car door into him. He was badly bruised (Dr insisted he go for an X-ray). Idiot demanded my insurance details incredibly aggressively and called me a "fucking cunt". The police said I had to give him my details.

Gobsmacked. I objected as the man almost hit me... Ended up giving work address.

OP YANBU.

Vickyyyy · 24/05/2016 21:47

He sounds like a total up his own arse wanksplat to be quite honest. Don't even spare a thought about it anymore unless its a joke among friends or what sort of dickheads you meet on the train...

AHellOfABird · 24/05/2016 21:55

"He sounds like a total up his own arse wanksplat"

Anatomically challenging but LOL!

runningincircles12 · 24/05/2016 21:56

Slightly off topic but a deranged idiot knocked my son off his bike by opening his car door into him. He was badly bruised (Dr insisted he go for an X-ray). Idiot demanded my insurance details incredibly aggressively and called me a "fucking cunt". The police said I had to give him my details

Sorry, he wanted YOUR insurance details? Surely it should be the other way round? He was negligent in opening the car door on your son and your son could legitimately sue him for personal injuries caused as a result of this. Did you get his car reg? I might be tempted to fire off a pre-action letter just to put the frighteners on him for being so rude. Did you explain to the police what happened?

emotionsecho · 25/05/2016 09:55

The OP immediately apologised, and continued to apologise but the man in question just had to be rude and nasty. Why is it that some people just cannot or will not accept an apology for an unfortunate and unintentional act, i.e., an accident and a minor one in this case?

Maybe he would have felt better if the OP had donned sackcloth and ashes and walked up and down the carriage chanting "Mea culpa".

SapphireStrange · 25/05/2016 10:00

Can people please read the thread before diving in with baseless comments about what kind of train it was, how hot the coffee was, what the man was wearing, etc?

sharknad0 · 25/05/2016 10:48

The OP immediately apologised...

so if I trip next to your car, and scratch it badly with my pram for example, it's enough to say "oh sorry"? Good to know.

SapphireStrange · 25/05/2016 10:49

Oh for heaven's sake. A bit of warmish coffee on a pair of jeans and a jumper isn't comparable to a badly scratched car and you know it. Pointlessly argumentative.

Catmuffin · 25/05/2016 10:56

I had to fill in an accident form at a leisure centre because someone was letting their kid run up and down a busy cafe and the kid tripped over my foot. (I was sitting drinking tea on a sofa.) Luckily the child didn't get hot tea spilled in them. I made sure to write on the form that the child was being allowed to run up and down the cafe. Should really have been the parent filling it in as they were the one who caused the accident by letting their kid run up and down a cafe

namechangeparents · 25/05/2016 11:04

I might be missing something here but presumably the person who bumped you was the careless one and should have offered dry cleaning money if it was appropriate to do so? And indeed to you as well as you could have spilt coffee on yourself. People are far too careless on trains, they always bump past with their bags on their shoulders.

namechangeparents · 25/05/2016 11:10

It is standard practice for companies to make a report when a customer is injured on their premises. I think the OP was unreasonable not to co-operate when it was her who burned the poor fcker!*

But she didn't, someone bumped into HER and made her spill the coffee! I've also no idea why the trolley guy was threatening her with the police.

Just move on OP and forget it all.

Kitsa · 25/05/2016 11:27

'Coffee on a train is not a necessity' - hilarious! What the hell does that have to do with it?

YANBU OP. He was abusive. No way you should have given details. If he wanted cleaning done he could have said that, instead of some nonsense about the incident book. He sounds awful.

sharknad0 · 25/05/2016 12:10

SapphireStrange
both cases result in a financial loss for the victim, why do you make a difference between damaged clothes and a damaged car?

sharknad0 · 25/05/2016 12:12

Hot drinks should be banned on all trains as people don't seem to know how to behave anymore Grin

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3608137/Two-class-passengers-throw-hot-COFFEE-row-seats-06-29-London-Bridge-causing-train-cancelled.html

emotionsecho · 25/05/2016 12:16

Yes sharnad0 if you tripped and accidentally scratched my car with your pram and apologised immediately and meant it I would be fine about it because you didn't deliberately set out that day to trip over and scratch my car with your pram it would be an ACCIDENT.

I would be more concerned that you and the occupant of said pram were okay than about a scratch on a car that can be easily fixed and is in no way, shape, or form, life threatening or going to ruin the rest of my life.

SapphireStrange · 25/05/2016 12:18

shark, I've already said why, but here it is again, with additions, for further clarity, in bold.

A bit of warmish coffee on a pair of jeans and a jumper which are generally machine-washable for the cost of the electricity/water/detergent isn't comparable to a badly scratched car which would need to be sent for respraying, at considerable cost.

sharknad0 · 25/05/2016 12:26

SapphireStrange

you don't get to pick and choose what you are responsible for when you damage it! I give you another example: you accidentally damage somebody's mobile phones. You do not get to refuse to pay for the cheap Nokia one and only accept to compensate the expensive Apple one. It doesn't work like that.

And emotionsecho you might not be bothered by a pram scratching your car, by accident, but I guarantee you that most people are!

SapphireStrange · 25/05/2016 12:30

shark, perhaps you're not understanding the difference between damage that has to be professionally repaired and therefore paid for, and stains/splashes that are easily washed out at home.

In your phone example – which doesn't actually map on to this scenario, but never mind – I would pay for either a cheap or expensive phone, on the grounds that a person cannot fix their phone themselves as they can put clothes in the washing machine.

Glamourgates · 25/05/2016 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 25/05/2016 12:45

Re: the steward.

It is possible that the man called the steward over and alleged that he had been hurt/scalded by the hot coffee. In that case, I suspect that the steward would have guidelines to follow, that would include asking for the OP's address, and filling in an accident report.

However, it would not be the steward's job to ask for those details on behalf of the other passenger, and any details given for an accident book ought to be confidential, so there should have been no question that the details would not be communicated to the other passenger, if the OP had given them for the accident book.

53rdAndBird · 25/05/2016 12:56

What should the OP have compensated him, exactly? "Here's 15p, love. Put it towards the Persil."

emotionsecho · 25/05/2016 12:58

sharknad0 but surely that's the point it is/was an accident, not deliberate and getting worked up about it isn't going to change anything. Deliberate damage would be dealt with as criminal but accidental is just part and parcel of life.

However, if the person who did the accidental damage called me a "stupid cow" and berated me for the temerity of having a car in the first place and expected me to apologise to them, then I would just leave them to their pointless frothing.

AugustaFinkNottle · 25/05/2016 13:22

Well, no, accidental damage isn't just a part and parcel of life unless it is a case where there is no possibility of anyone being at fault, which is relatively rare. If someone accidentally puts their foot on the accelerator instead of the brake and hits your car, or misjudges the width of their car and scrapes all down the side of yours, you're hardly likely to shrug your shoulders and say "Accident, one of those things", are you?

If, in this scenario, the coffee had been extremely hot and had scalded the face of a child in a buggy, again, no-one is likely to accept that it's just an accident. And in fact the person who brings the coffee in is the one who would be held to be liable, not the person who bumps into them. If you bring something onto a train knowing (1) that if it spills it can cause damage and (2) it's the nature of trains that it will be insecure, e.g. if the train goes round a steep bend, or if the train is crowded and someone jostles you - then you have a duty to be mega careful with that coffee.

But of course in this case the damage is likely to be minimal and very easily rectified, so it's all academic anyway.

ErgonomicallyUnsound · 25/05/2016 13:27

Here's 15p, love. Put it towards the Persil.

Grin perfect!

Massive ROFL @ Sharknado trying to suggest some coffee stained clothes are the same as a scratched car. If I paid to have my clothes professionally dry cleaned every time I spilled coffee on them, I'd be bankrupt by now.

Only1scoop · 25/05/2016 13:32

I'd have offered him 15 quid for dry cleaning.

Until he called you a 'stupid cow'

Vile individual