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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To think it's ok to be naked in front of your teens?

904 replies

Blackearlgrey · 22/05/2016 08:12

DP and I have always been very carefree about nakedness and as our DC (all girls) have got older I have picked up that they're no longer all totally happy about this. Recently this has come to a head with the youngest (18) saying that she really doesn't like seeing her dad wander round without clothes on. He's a bit resistant to changing his habits--he exercises every morning, then puts his sweaty gym kit in the wash, before working his way to the shower in the altogether. Our other two, who are older, are a bit more relaxed about it, in fact the oldest one says she's glad this was our practice, so that she knew from an early age what adult bodies looked like. (I can identify with that, as I didn't know until several years after I DTD for the first time!) I've been happy to try to avoid the DC seeing me without clothes on if it makes them feel uncomfortable, but AIBU to think that as this is our home, me and DP are entitled to live as we choose. NB. No nakedness in communal areas when we have house guests of course.

I'm guessing I'm going to get responses from all parts of the spectrum here, from "It's no problem, everyone in the family gets their kit off at the earliest opportunity" right the way through to "Actually, I have never seen my husband's body with the light on". But interested to see what the overall view is. AIBU?

OP posts:
Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 22/05/2016 09:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotYoda · 22/05/2016 09:18

Future

Why doesn't he walk around naked in front of guests? That's a bit "illogical"

Blackearlgrey · 22/05/2016 09:19

OK last post before I disappear today: that should have read, "reminds me why I haven't posted on MN FOR A WHILE". Sorry about the mistake, I was in a hurry. I'm not going to give you my last username just to prove I'm real. I'll check in again this evening; for everyone who gave considered advice, thank you so much, it is really helpful for the conversation I will have with DP.

OP posts:
FutureGadgetsLab · 22/05/2016 09:19

Once again you're twisting my words.

It's okay for people to walk around naked in their own house. Others can not look if it offends them.

If you are offended by nakedness that is your issue.

NotYoda · 22/05/2016 09:19

Myinlaws Grin

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 22/05/2016 09:19

I agree with Larry.

FutureGadgetsLab · 22/05/2016 09:20

Why doesn't he walk around naked in front of guests? That's a bit "illogical"
I assume he's not showering when he has guests there!

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 22/05/2016 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FutureGadgetsLab · 22/05/2016 09:21

Doing it for shock value is different to just doing what you would do whether they were there or not.

Only1scoop · 22/05/2016 09:21

Why on earth shouldn't he shower with guests present in his 'own home'

Surely the guests should just 'look away'Hmm

NotYoda · 22/05/2016 09:21

Future

Guests who are staying the night. Should have made that a bit clearer, I see

LadyReuleaux · 22/05/2016 09:22

I'm with DD. She shouldn't have to see any grown man naked unless she chooses to. That's because genitals are, actually, private parts and seeing them on someone you're not in a relationship with does make many people uncomfortable and that's normal.

DH would not be OK to this at work or in the park, or even with a, 18yo lodger or au pair - yet he thinks he can subject his teen DD to it because of his personal preferences, just because he's related to her. It's upsetting her. I'd worry about a man who can't see that and cares so little about it.

For me personally, I'm OK with it with babies and preschoolers but I think from school age on, it's appropriate to start to model for DC that privacy is normal and reasonable - especially with DC of the opposite sex to yourself, and especially also if privacy is what they prefer.

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 22/05/2016 09:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

giantpurplepeopleeater · 22/05/2016 09:22

The 'child' in this situation is 18. I think in this instance I'd be inclined to say 'my house, my rules' and let her decide if she's ok with it or wants to move out.

Only1scoop · 22/05/2016 09:22

Why on earth should his dd 'look away anyhow'?

It's her home too surely

LoveFromUs · 22/05/2016 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FutureGadgetsLab · 22/05/2016 09:24

Only there's nothing wrong with showering with guests there but I'm assuming he would want to spend time with them and shower when they're gone.

Yoda maybe he feels he has to be on his "best behaviour" around guests but thinks he should be able to be relaxed around his family? Personally I don't give a toss, my house is mine and if you don't like it you can leave, so I'm just guessing.

NotYoda · 22/05/2016 09:24

"yet he thinks he can subject his teen DD to it because of his personal preferences, just because he's related to her. It's upsetting her. I'd worry about a man who can't see that and cares so little about it"

Lady

I agree

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 22/05/2016 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotYoda · 22/05/2016 09:24

Future

That makes no sense.

SetPhasersTaeMalkie · 22/05/2016 09:25

Really? You would encourage your own child to move out because she doesn't want to see her father wandering about the house naked?

Seems a bit of an upheaval when a towel would do the job nicely.

FutureGadgetsLab · 22/05/2016 09:26

Only because her feelings are illogical.

CodyKing · 22/05/2016 09:26

To be honest I don't want a hairy arsed man bending over a washing machine - nobody wants to see that!!!

SetPhasersTaeMalkie · 22/05/2016 09:27

Sorry that was to a poster upthread.

Only1scoop · 22/05/2016 09:27

Just to prove a point of

'It's my house I like being naked naked naked naked and will will will'

Like a naked Sister Anna that carries the banner' Grin