To think it's ok to be naked in front of your teens?

[Blackearlgrey]

DP and I have always been very carefree about nakedness and as our DC (all girls) have got older I have picked up that they're no longer all totally happy about this. Recently this has come to a head with the youngest (18) saying that she really doesn't like seeing her dad wander round without clothes on. He's a bit resistant to changing his habits--he exercises every morning, then puts his sweaty gym kit in the wash, before working his way to the shower in the altogether. Our other two, who are older, are a bit more relaxed about it, in fact the oldest one says she's glad this was our practice, so that she knew from an early age what adult bodies looked like. (I can identify with that, as I didn't know until several years after I DTD for the first time!) I've been happy to try to avoid the DC seeing me without clothes on if it makes them feel uncomfortable, but AIBU to think that as this is our home, me and DP are entitled to live as we choose. NB. No nakedness in communal areas when we have house guests of course.

I'm guessing I'm going to get responses from all parts of the spectrum here, from "It's no problem, everyone in the family gets their kit off at the earliest opportunity" right the way through to "Actually, I have never seen my husband's body with the light on". But interested to see what the overall view is. AIBU?

I have never been self conscious about being naked in changing rooms at gym etc, always use communal area not tiny cubicle bit (despite being severely told off by a mum once for not covering up when 9 months pregnant as it was "upsetting her DD" ).

In the house I get naked in my own room whenever I need to despite teenage DD and DS's habit of wandering in whenever they feel like - I don't shut the door, I figure if they are worried about catching me nekkid they will knock! Neither one has ever batted an eyelid, quite happy to have a conversation ( and raid my toiletries!) with me in the buff.

I might wander round in underwear in the rest of the house (not if we have guests ) but not in my birthday suit. I would hate to make anyone feel uncomfortable in the house so would not do what your DP does. My bedroom my rules, but everyone should be considerate of other's feelings in shared areas.

This is when I feel like I've wandered into a parallel universe when I'm on MN sometimes.

Only on here should a man's right to challenge societal norms trump his daughter's right not to be confronted by her dad's wobbling meat and two veg on a regular basis.

FFS tell him to put some pants on, OP. That poor lass.

In our house we don't actively wander about in the buff but we do wander about in underwear or a strategically placed towel.

No issue with carrying on a conversation whilst the bathroom door is open and having a wee. It works for us.

When DS was 20 and had a ridiculously high fever and was delirious I had to help into the shower regularly to lower his temperature, no embarrassment. DD wanted me there for a bra fitting, no embarrassment, but these occasions were led by them, not forced upon them.

I don't think you can compare sharing a bath with preschoolers with wandering around naked in a house of teenagers or young adults. We also shared baths with our children when younger.

Where is the washing machine compared to the shower?

I walk from our bedroom to the bathroom with nothing on as does my husband.

Her feelings need to be respected.

I'm happy swanning around with nothing on, but don't want to make my children uncomfortable. They are still gatecrashing my shower so I'm fine so far...

Our society is very inhibited about natural bodies. We cover up in public which has practical functions. Everything in the media is airbrushed to perfection. But at 18 and an adult, she has got the idea. She's uncomfortable, and forcing it on her could make her feelings worse.

She could well be leaving home in the near future. How should she feel if a male housemate wondered around naked knowing she was uncomfortable?

He should let her know when he is going to be naked in communal areas.

Agree that if he is happy to cover up for guests, he should respect how his daughter feels. It's obviously not that important to him if he will cover up sometimes.

Yabvvu

Not something I ever exposed my girls to, they would take a bath with us until about three years old.

I imagine your DH is feeling a bit upset that his daughter thinks there is something wrong with him just being himself the way he's been her entire life. And I think it is a shame she's managed to pick up this approach to nakedness that our society has. But I think he should stop and he should do it for her.

Because this association of nakedness and sex that our culture has is pervasive and she is at an age where she really needs to be confident in setting her own boundaries around this. Showing respect for her feelings on this will help her gain confidence in setting boundaries with others. And that's surely something you both want for her, right?

Nakedness needs to stop until your DD moves out. By ignoring how uncomfortable your DD is with the nakedness your teaching her that she has to put up with feeling uncomfortable and her feelings are not valid!

I don't think a person feeling 'uncomfortable' should dictate everyone's behaviour

I agree to some extent but not in this context.

The DD doesn't want to see her fathers knob because it makes her uncomfortable. that is perfectly understandable and her father should respect that.

Since when has it been okay to show your naked body to someone who has clearly expressed that they don't want to see it? I'm sure that's in the underwear rule.

Doctors and nurses seeing naked bodies is irrelevant. They actively chose and trained for that job knowing exactly what it entailed. The DD didn't. Gynaecologists see vaginas all the time. That doesn't mean that I should be comfortable with seeing other women's vaginas against my will does it?

Is this your first post Op?

He's a bit resistant to changing his habits

Why?

It's long past the time you both should have covered up. The kids are young adults now. It's not appropriate.

Frankly it's a bit of a red flag that he knows he's making them uncomfortable but continues. And your concern should be ensuring your children feel comfortable in their own home, not enabling him.

As for in fact the oldest one says she's glad this was our practice, so that she knew from an early age what adult bodies looked like Yea, well now she knows so put ona dressing gown.

That also smacks of something that was fed to the child and she feels she's expected to say. Given your own experience I think you remember that statement because it reinforces your position. Confirmation bias at work there.

VioletBam I believe it is her own post, like I said someone made a post very similar to this post last week, then there was another one teenage son broke both of his arms and the OP who was a lady wanted advice in how to bath him and wash his "private" bits .

This is a perveted thread why would a grown man be wandering around the house naked, especially when you have daughters, very inappropriate to say the least

I dont like being naked in front of my 3yo, let alone a maturing teenage girl. WTF is wrong with your OH OP? Does he not remember being 18? how would he have felt if he had to watch his dads wrinkly and saggy arse wander by every morning? How would he have felt at 18 if he was sat eating his cornflakes and his naked mum bent down to get milk out of the fridge?

Stick why are you doing faces?

He's deliberately choosing to continue to expose himself to someone who has asked him to stop.

Because his intent isn't to upset, he's just doing what he usually does.

Someone being offended/uncomfortable isn't a reason to stop doing something.

I stroll around naked all the time. If anyone asked me to stop I would tell them to not look!