To think it's ok to be naked in front of your teens?

[Blackearlgrey]

DP and I have always been very carefree about nakedness and as our DC (all girls) have got older I have picked up that they're no longer all totally happy about this. Recently this has come to a head with the youngest (18) saying that she really doesn't like seeing her dad wander round without clothes on. He's a bit resistant to changing his habits--he exercises every morning, then puts his sweaty gym kit in the wash, before working his way to the shower in the altogether. Our other two, who are older, are a bit more relaxed about it, in fact the oldest one says she's glad this was our practice, so that she knew from an early age what adult bodies looked like. (I can identify with that, as I didn't know until several years after I DTD for the first time!) I've been happy to try to avoid the DC seeing me without clothes on if it makes them feel uncomfortable, but AIBU to think that as this is our home, me and DP are entitled to live as we choose. NB. No nakedness in communal areas when we have house guests of course.

I'm guessing I'm going to get responses from all parts of the spectrum here, from "It's no problem, everyone in the family gets their kit off at the earliest opportunity" right the way through to "Actually, I have never seen my husband's body with the light on". But interested to see what the overall view is. AIBU?

My 2 teen boys will happily come and chat to me when I'm in the bath or come into our bedroom when we're getting dressed or undressed.

They couldn't care less if we go into the bathroom when they are in the shower. So nakedness is really not an issue in this house.

However, if they became 'private' types, we would respect that.

personally i find mens dangly bits gross but seeing my dad's if i was 18 -urgh. am a ex nurse but men are just not attractive in that sense especially those that are a bit lacking in personal hygiene, thankfully not the case with dh !

I don't think a person feeling 'uncomfortable' should dictate everyone's behaviour.

This. Nudity is not harmful. If she doesn't like it she doesn't have to look!

I was raised with a nudist for a dad and can't remember ever feeling uncomfortable with it. However, if you're DD doesn't like it could he at least give her fair warning to close her bedroom door? Then he doesn't have to worry about covering up and she doesn't see him naked

What's his deal? Really?

Does he get his knackers out at work? In the newsagents? At the pub?

No? Thought not. And why? Because as a society we've decided that it's probably best not to wave your genitalia all over the place, as it may disturb.

Why, then, does he treat wider society with more respect than his own daughter?

Your daughter does not like being exposed to her father's naked body. He knows this and continues to expose himself to her.

This makes him a bully and a bit of a dick. Pun fully intended.

prof dd is not imposing anything on op dh, she just does not feel comfortable, nothing wrong with that.

I know it's each to their own but I'd be uncomfortable with that. I don't think there would be enough therapy in the land to undo the scarring from seeing my dad or mum strutting around naked

Myinlaws,

That is actually not the difference. It is a question about whether another persons discomfort should trump the right of someone to choose how they dress (or don't).

It is not black and white. Both should respect one another and form a reasonable compromise.

He's "perverse"? Really?

Our children see both of us naked but they're younger (2 & 5). Both boys frequently get in the bath or shower with DH me. I'll be sad when or if that makes them awkward.

Playing devil's advocate, why should he cover up? The 'c' word makes me uncomfortable but I come on AIBU.

But he doesn't really ' have to change his habits' does he?

He simply has to move the ' covering self up' to before his shower or take his gym kit off in the bathroom rather bedroom.

Sounds like a bit of a power battle to me.

I imagine he does not want the towel around his sweaty body. He wants to be clean first. I do the same (but have two small boys)

If she's uncomfortable then your dh needs to stop.

Personally I don't walk around naked in front of dd aged 13. I haven't done for years actually, maybe since she was about 5/6 I think, something like that. She and I would feel embarrassed. My mum used to walk around naked after she got out of the bathroom and if I happened to see her when I was upstairs I used to hate it!

In what world is it normal for the following conversation to happen?

"Urgh, dad, put something on, I can see your nob!"

"No, this is my house! And my penis! If you don't like it, that's your problem!"

He's only going from washing machine to shower, he could shout Naked Man Coming Through then you DD can close her eyes for 30 seconds and everyone is happy.

Society here (assuming op is in the uk) says we don't wander about in the nude.

So we should blindly follow societal norms because tradition rather than logically analysing them and finding they do not make sense?

Sorry, but I'm uncomfortable with this. He needs to cover up around her.

Paradise's idea is good.

Or the daughter just has to avoid a communal hallway for 5 mins of the day.

It doesn't sound like he's wandering round half the day naked so if it makes her uncomfortable I'm sure she can avoid seeing him for couple of minutes he's naked for.

Your dd has said it makes her feel uncomfortable.

It makes for uncomfortable reading when you say he is not willing to do something about it.

If your DH can cover up when you have guests, I can't see what the big deal is the rest of the time. It seems to be a matter of laziness on his part rather than comfort.

Or the daughter just has to avoid a communal hallway for 5 mins of the day.

This

Bastards why does her discomfort come above his choice of dress?

He's being horrible.

Is he usually a stubborn bugger?

I mean, what does it cost him to leave his pants on for thirty seconds?

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.