To think it's ok to be naked in front of your teens?

[Blackearlgrey]

DP and I have always been very carefree about nakedness and as our DC (all girls) have got older I have picked up that they're no longer all totally happy about this. Recently this has come to a head with the youngest (18) saying that she really doesn't like seeing her dad wander round without clothes on. He's a bit resistant to changing his habits--he exercises every morning, then puts his sweaty gym kit in the wash, before working his way to the shower in the altogether. Our other two, who are older, are a bit more relaxed about it, in fact the oldest one says she's glad this was our practice, so that she knew from an early age what adult bodies looked like. (I can identify with that, as I didn't know until several years after I DTD for the first time!) I've been happy to try to avoid the DC seeing me without clothes on if it makes them feel uncomfortable, but AIBU to think that as this is our home, me and DP are entitled to live as we choose. NB. No nakedness in communal areas when we have house guests of course.

I'm guessing I'm going to get responses from all parts of the spectrum here, from "It's no problem, everyone in the family gets their kit off at the earliest opportunity" right the way through to "Actually, I have never seen my husband's body with the light on". But interested to see what the overall view is. AIBU?

Kennington Sun 22-May-16 22:32:04

"I suppose your husband needs to be sensitive to your daughter.
But Is this a generational thing? The hippies of my parents generation of the 60s and 70s all wandered around naked at home apparently and were as keen as mustard to show the naked body as normal."

Recently re-read Libby Purves' book about the family which is about the 70s and 80s, I suppose. Her anecdotes seem to suggest that even in the free hippy days, and free hippy families, it was not uncommon for children to change their views on this once they reached adolescence. And keen as mustard parents does not always correspond to keen as mustard children. My father was naturally rather relaxed about this, we lived in possibly the most relaxed country in the west, I still felt uncomfortable. And being a kindly man, he considered my feelings.

Someone way up thread compared a penis to a foot. In our house DD, who incidently is 18 has a bit of a thing about naked feet. Not logical at all, just her not liking them.

If we are sitting together we put socks on, because we like our DD and don't want her to feel uncomfortable.

I cannot imagine a situation in which a kind father, on learning that his daughter was uncomfortable with his nudity would do anything other than cover up

I am failing to see why keeping his pants on is a chore. He should be leaving them lying on the bathroom floor like a normal man"

kitkat. Maybe you're onto something there. Perhaps he was trained to do put his smelly gym gear in the laundry basket by op (or maybe even his mother incredulous whisper) and walk to the shower in the buff. So maybe now needs to be retrained. This could simply be a matter of training as it sounds as if his dds request does not compute.

The man should be able to walk about naked in his house.

It's teaching his daughter a powerful lesson in consent.

ie. that some men will take no notice of women asking them not to do things and that women will be complicit in telling them to suck it up.

And that, if you don't want men to expose themselves around you, it is your job as a woman to prevent that happening.

With the usual NAMALT rider, obviously.

Well, hoping that there is still space for the OP to return after all the arguing, YANBU. Your daughter feels uncomfortable, why should she be made to feel uncomfortable in her own home because her dad can't wrap a bloody towel around him for a few seconds! Smacks of 'its my house and I will do what I want regardless of how others feel.

DS is 8 and often will walk from a room with no clothes on but has asked a few times that DH doesn't go in the bathroom when he is in there. DH was still doing it and questioning it at one point and I said it's totally up to DS to decide when he wants privacy and we need to respect that. It's usually just when he's on the toilet, showers he actively wants someone in there. Point is, your DD doesn't want to be greeted by her dad's knob flapping about so he should respect that.

The funny thing here is I am cringing at the thought of ever seeing my dads naked body. We went on many holidays together, just him and I, and I also had to go into the men's toilets a few times with him until a certain age yet I never once saw his penis or even his arse and I am fucking glad! I don't want to know what that looks like.

But my mum, on the other hand, was more open about it and actually there was a large period of time where either my brother or I would need to poo as she got in the bath so she'd have to deal with us sitting beside her crapping and talking through our issues with her pretty much every time she had a bath. She also would walk from bathroom to bedroom naked and she doesn't believe in underwear in bed so sometimes had obvious Sharon Stone moments if she was sat downstairs in her nightie. What I'm saying is I have seen my mother's vagina and I don't care about that, feels normal to me especially since I bloody came out of it! But I really don't want to ever see my dads dick.

I'm with your DD. Why can't he wrap a towel around his waist?

"The man should be able to walk about naked in his house."

Why do his needs trump that of his daughter?

Nickname, I think PalmerViolet was being ironic.

Its ok. However if someone expressed that it makes them feel unconformable I would stop.

I'm not really one to wander round nekkid anyway mind so I may be not thinking it through :p

I wander round the house (mainly peri-showering) when no teenagers at home but cover up otherwise. I can see why the dad maybe thinks youngest daughter is making a fuss over nothing if the oldest 2 were fine with it and if it's just a brief walk from bedroom to bathroom where she could just wait for him to pass or avert her eyes if she's on the landing at the wrong time.
I think the dad should cover up for the greater good of good family relationships.

I suspect he doesn't wrap a towel round his waist because the towels are in the bathroom and he's on his way there. He maybe doesn't own a dressing gown if he's never used one in the past.
We keep our dirty laundry basket in the bathroom though so you're usually entering the bathroom in sports gear or clothes. Maybe move the laundry basket if it's currently in the bedroom and he doesn't want to carry dirty clothes back to the bedroom and isn't allowed to remove them there and sprint to the bathroom.

Nickname, I think PalmerViolet was being ironic.

She was. Very.

What happens if there's already a load of washing in the machine? Does he just stand around in the kitchen/ utility room naked until it's finished?

Don't know of this has already been said, can't waft through 34 pages, but what if the three daughters decided to walk around the house naked, out of interest would OP and DH be okay with this? Genuinely wondering.

Why wouldn't they be? They are all family and have grown up with nakedness not being an issue.

My parents sleep naked - or at least they did, assume they still do... - and so from time to time as kids we would see them nipping to the bathroom first thing or during the night but I think as we got older we didn't really see that as much but if we did, no embarrassment. It's not like they came down to breakfast or hung out watching TV naked but it did allow me to grow up with the sense that you should be comfortable with the people you love. But everybody's different and I guess if one child isn't happy with seeing nudity that needs to be respected although I would wonder why her attitude is that much different to her sibs?

Doh!

if it's just a brief walk from bedroom to bathroom where she could just wait for him to pass or avert her eyes

But it isn't: he strips off at the washing machine presumably in the kitchen, possibly the utility room. (Please tell me he doesn't then put on a wash just for his gym kit). Then, given a typical sort of house, he has to walk through the kitchen, through the downstairs hall, up the stairs, along the landing into the bathroom. That is a lot of eye averting. What if she is half way down the stairs just as he reaches the bottom? Does she have to stand on the stairs with her eyes shut while her naked father walks past her?

DH sleeps in the buff, but puts his boxers on to nip to the loo, figuring that DDs 1and 2 (17 and15) neither wish nor need to see their dad's tackle.

She might be sitting at the kitchen table and half-way through her breakfast when he comes waggling into view

I hope he doesn't have a boner and the dog makes a mistake

I personally think that whatever a person's feeling about their own nudity that if they choose to impose it on a young woman who doesn't feel comfortable then they are committing sexual abuse.

In the same way rape isn't about sex it's about control, this may be the same but it's still upsetting a girl with a man's dick.

It's fucking vile.

What about the random erection that occasionally plagues men? Should he his Dd not be concerned if she sees that either? What if she bumps in to him coming out of a side room?

Have some fucking respect.

Wasn't in a 'Carry On' film that the nurse said to the shy patient, "Really, so much fuss about such a little thing!"
In this day and age I just don't understand why so much fuss is made about seeing one small part of the human body. A part that half the people on earth are born with.

Blindsider Why wouldn't they be?
I don't know, OP didnt say.

They are all family and have grown up with nakedness not being an issue.
Obviously it IS an issue.