Told DH to fend for himself. AIBU?

[arghhythu]

DH is sulking upstairs because I'm not cooking for him. He's 32.

He's very used to getting his own way and until recently I've probably enabled him. I've always cooked because I got in from work first. He likes home cooked food, preferably requiring a lot of effort.

Now 3 month old DD is here so meals have changed. Things that are easy to prepare but still always ready when he gets home. This apparently isn't good enough. He wants "proper" food. Not willing to cook it himself, though.

Things came to a head today when he walked in and moaned about the salmon in the freezer. I told him to cook his own food and he said he can't. So I'm not going to cook for him anymore. He can shop and cook himself, right?

He does very, very little with DD and won't do housework.

AIBU to let him starve and just feed myself?

If I showed him this thread I'm sure he would denounce everyone and storm off again.

I've put up with a lot. Battled pnd and now I'm doing OK with DD. It's like a moment of clarity. The bloody salmon woke up.

Or maybe I'm wrong and while he's sulking up there he'll put the washing away and change the sheets. Doubt it though.

Woke me up, even.

Well he sounded like a twat and now he sounds like a nasty twat.

How are you set up financially op?

What doreen said

' if you want residence then you have better fucking learn to cook then'

What a fucking joker

He thinks he'll get custody of your DD when he's not able to feed himself?

Fucking twat.

You couldn't actually be anymore in the right here.

I couldn't be bothered living with a man child, thank God my DH knows how to behave as an adult now I remember on one occasion around 25 years ago we had friends round for the football and he lifted his can and said "beer me." I "beered him" alright, I got it out the fridge, shook the can like fuck and asked if he'd like it opened. He said yes. I opened the can and sprayed him in the face. That was the first and last time I have ever been asked to "beer him". As for cooking well, yes I cook, likewise DH cooks. He'd have been smacked in the chops with the frozen salmon if he'd complained. Let him have his little tantrum OP then LTB in the morning. I wouldn't put up with his childish behaviour.

Don't show him the thread, you'll be needing all the advice and support you can get.

He does know that babies of three months can't eat fish and chips doesn't he?

Although I expect he'd want to take your DD and go running back to mummy who will do everything for him including looking after the child he's got no interest in.

Tell him to just FUCK OFF

Please don't put up with this. I usually cook for us as I'm much better than DP but if I'm ever too busy, tired, or just can't be bothered DP will make something basic or get us a takeaway. He would never speak to me like your DH. It's just not right.

Financially I'm a bit of a mess to be honest. On mat leave but I'm a low earner. At a push I could go to DM for a while but the fallout could get messy.

I think the fall out is inevitable. He's not going to change. I'm sorry.

He would not be the resident parent in the event of a split. Nor would he want to be. It's just a stick to beat you with.

Three months is incredibly early to have recovered from PND. I think it more likely you are just about getting to grips with it and don't feel like you're in a chasm. Do you tend to feel worse when he's around at weekends or when he has time off by any chance?

I'm struggling to believe this.

You were happy to cook complicated meals for him every night up until 3 months ago, and now you are talking about divorce?

Sounds like this has been the last straw for you OP. Part of the problem these type of men don't see how pathetic they are is because their partners do do everything for them, problems only start when rightly partner says enough is enough.

I do do all the cooking in our house, including from scratch meals at weekends. But I don't mind as DH does most of the rest of the house work, including all the boys clothes washing, drying and ironing!

Please op, for the love of all that is holy, get this moved to relationships. Yanbu at all - seriously, the boy is a cunt. And yes, I mean it when I say boy.

Oh and most "fresh" salmon has been frozen at some point. Twat.

He's rarely here! Appears after work expecting to be fed and works weekends too. I'm hoping I could cope without him but there's always that little voice of doubt telling me I couldn't.

I bet his mother's been giving him frozen food for years. She probably batch cooks, freezes it all then boils an onion when he's coming home so the house smells like someone's cooking.

bibbity, that's how it goes. You can spend a lot of time putting up with all sorts of shit then one day it's a stupid demand too far.

I am sure you agree that he has behaved appallingly?

Stropping, sulking and threatening to take op's child away from her. Not exactly the actions of a decent person.

The salmon being frozen caused the row. He really prefers fresh hmm

It didn't really. I guarantee you that if you were the kind of woman who enjoyed cooking and managed it fine and produced a lovely fresh dinner for him, he would have found something else to strop about. Making you cook for him was available as a "reason" to treat you badly but he'd have found another one. He WANTS to yell at you and be angry with you and treat you badly.

bibbity I don't see what's so difficult to believe. A lot can change in 3 months, especially if a baby comes along during that time. A baby can often change the way you see things and the way others behave.

He prefers fresh salmon and went and got fish and chips. 'Bet that wasn't frozen fish then .

The dynamics of a relationship change when a baby is born and women are put in a very vulnerable position. This is when a partner can show their true colours.

Has he gone to his mum's for dinner?

I've met a lot of mummy's boys... it always catches up and makes them unhappy in the end.

I would suggest you both choose a cook book he can learn from and praise all efforts and good behaviour.

My DS (8) has started learning cooking. Supervised near flames of course, but if he can rustle up a mean chicken schnitzel dinner for 3 then I'm sure your DH can come up with the goodies too.

You can tell him I said that please

Hi all I'm new on here can u pls tell me how I open my own thread