Told DH to fend for himself. AIBU?

[arghhythu]

DH is sulking upstairs because I'm not cooking for him. He's 32.

He's very used to getting his own way and until recently I've probably enabled him. I've always cooked because I got in from work first. He likes home cooked food, preferably requiring a lot of effort.

Now 3 month old DD is here so meals have changed. Things that are easy to prepare but still always ready when he gets home. This apparently isn't good enough. He wants "proper" food. Not willing to cook it himself, though.

Things came to a head today when he walked in and moaned about the salmon in the freezer. I told him to cook his own food and he said he can't. So I'm not going to cook for him anymore. He can shop and cook himself, right?

He does very, very little with DD and won't do housework.

AIBU to let him starve and just feed myself?

My sister boyfriend like this. He is a total loser

Not everyone is a good cook, but what is really ungrateful and stupid is to not be able to cook, and then moan to the person who is willing to cook for you about what you're given! If he's going to be like that, send him back to mummy and tell him you're only prepared to look after one baby at a time.

Bloody hell. Some useless men in the world. Aren't they embarrassed at being so pathetic?

💐

It baffles me how dickheads like this are ever in a position to get nice women like you pregnant.

Don't be talked around by him or anyone else. If he can be this much of an entitled prick when you have a 3 month old baby, it's only going to get worse. Get rid while you are angry enough to do it. Don't waste your DD's first months/years 'trying again'. Rip him off like a plaster and enjoy DD.

Aren't they embarrassed at being so pathetic?

I agree. I find it really hard to understand people like your husband. How can they possibly exist in the modern world?

Good for you!!

He should appreciate anything you cook for him and would be even better if HE cooked for you!

Lazy bastard

What a knobhead. You'd be well rid.

He's returned with fish and chips and I'm playing with DD. Stony silence in the room because I'm forcing him to have a takeaway. That's the ultimate sin in his eyes.

Proper food is a midweek roast or anything cooked absolutely from scratch.

I wouldn't do a single thing for him from now. You have DD.....someone who is genuinely in need of your help.

You sound like you've got one foot out of the door in this relationship...does your dh realise how very close he is to losing you?

I think the hard part will be keeping it up. I think you're completely doing the right thing, however his huffing and puffing will potentially really upset you, especially if he 'punishes' you by ignoring you, withdrawing affection or doing even less with your child.

Stay strong and if you are thinking of leaving him - Make sure you have a lot of support.

You and your baby deserve better.

Yes, let him starve! Tell him to fuck off while you're at it.

'Proper food is a midweek roast or anything cooked absolutely from scratch.'
It's not the 1950s any more
www.amazon.co.uk/Perfect-Wives-Ideal-Homes-Story/dp/0670921319

YANBU about the principle.

I actually do most of our cooking, aided by my DD1 and DD3.

DH hardly ever cooks, but does most of the sandwich making for lunch. I like it that way because if he does attempt to cook he makes it such a huge faff (creating problems where there are none) that he drives me round the bend. He and the DDs did have to produce a fair number of meals recently though (the DDs did most of it) because I was curtailed by a seriously broken right arm in massive casts. They managed (including DH, though he did faff around too), but I am happily back in circulation now.

In fairness to my DH, he does accept what he is given to eat. I think he realises that his first criticism or strop about it would definitely be his last as far as I would be concerned, so he knows better than to start.

I do remember how I changed when DS was born.. I used to cook meals for him to eat as soon as he came home after participating in his hobby.. I had hyperemisis during pregnancy and couldn't bear the thought of cooking.. His behaviour got worse the less time I had to mother him..

Expect your partner to get worse not better ..He wants to return to the status quo.

I hope he chokes on his fish n chips. Lazy twat

Yep my ex would storm off and come back with a kebab or fish and chips for himself and then glare at me while he ate them. Leave the wrappers and dirty plate for me to clear up.

I was so numbed by him I would then not eat, as I would feel guilty just cooking for myself and not him.

It was a horrible miserable life.

Nip it in the bud now.

Proper food is a midweek roast or anything cooked absolutely from scratch.

For me, that's the food you have when you have plenty of time and energy.

My godson (7.5 years) and I made pesto from scratch today. He helped boil the pasta (close supervision) and grated the cheese. He also helped look after my son (7months). If a 7 year old can do it, he can!
I suppose his mother isn't raising him to be an incapable loser though!!

I'd have only two words to say to him, and the second one would be 'off'.

It's amazing how some people can't see that if they want 'cooked from scratch' meals every night, they should learn to fucking cook.

YANBU - my 86 yo FIL is like this, he's become progressively worse over the years and now doesn't even deign to close the drawer after himself when he takes out cutlery.

If you don't sort this disparity out now it will only get worse as the years go by.

My MIL feels sorry for my DH who often has to have "reheats" for dinner instead of a freshly-prepared meal.

I have 3 children under 2.5 so she can eff off.

If he's going to act like this- stick one of your DDs nappies on him, give him and a bath and pack him off to bed at 7pm.

If he wants to act like a child- treat him like one.

YANBU OP. And you know it.

I'd be showing him the washing and ironing baskets and be expecting that he clears them both, then he can do the weekly shop and then clean the kitchen floor - that should keep him busy tonight! Why does he thing that he doesn't need to do housework although it does sound as if some of the blame rests with you if you have played the little women and enabled him. When are you going back to work?