To not buy my spoilt niece a birthday gift?

[BumFluffle]

Niece is turning 6 next week, her mother is my sister. N is an only child and is absolutely spoilt rotten by her parents and two sets of grandparents, and I promise I'm not exaggerating. She has a holiday home (the 5 year old), 2 of everything (never understood why) and gets whatever she wants, which is an awful lot. For example, when I got engaged, N wanted my diamond ring. Next day, N has a REAL diamond necklace cos they couldn't find a diamond ring small enough to fit.

I'm not particularly comfortable (financially) and have no DC of my own but have always tried to get her nice gifts. Often my sister will send me a link to the exact gift N wants and then expect smaller gifts to go with it. My problem is though that neither of them appreciate the gifts.

For example, last year I bought N a beautiful set of classic fables. It literally got tossed on the floor with no thank you's from either. Then we were out shopping a few months later when my sister saw the set for sale for a hefty price, only then did she decide to take them down from the top of the wardrobe, covered in dust, and actually read them to N. For Christmas I got her a crystal set that N was apparently desperate for (), upon opening it she proceeded to stamp on it. My sister regularly shares stories with me of 'awful, cheap gifts' others have dared to give her DD and she clearly expects a lot from ppl.

So, i quite frankly don't want to add this spoilt behaviour. I want to quickly get out of the habit of her expecting things from me and I know if I get her a (in her eyes) lesser gift, it will cause drama and if I get her no gift it will cause drama but I just don't want to. AIBU to just give a card?

Just to add, I've also tried taking her out as a treat (on top of the gifts) and she has acted incredibly bratty on every outing, demanding everything in sight. So I don't want to do that again.

a mountain of gifts which she was super excited about then seconds after she'd opened them all, she stomped off to bed because she didn't like any of the gifts.

Oh my, this is so sad. My DD is not quite four but she is delighted by any gift, I don't think she would even understand the concept of not liking a gift! A six-year-old being disappointed by her Christmas presents? How can a child get like that? The parents must have been doing something very wrong

The thread changed, so my advice is redundant now, but I would be absolute on this.... I WOULD NOT buy what I'd been told to buy, and I would see it as an absolute challenge to get the kid (a) something cheap (b) something the kid will adore and (c) something that the parents will HATE.

It would become a quest for me!
A making-thing with teeny-tiny parts. Glitter. Noise (all of which suggested up-thread). I would have also suggested time, but I can see why you don't want to do that!

You'd have fun shopping. Open with the child, start them off, get them infused and then bugger off.

Win, win win!

btw, love the box within a box within a box idea. I'd just put glitter in the smallest one and label it "fairy dust"

How about a giant microbe?
www.giantmicrobes.com/uk/

Sadly the lovely Chlamydia is out of stock. But there are other lovely diseases you'd have a great time explaining to her.

Get her something for her house. A tin of magnolia paint or something.

She might even practise in her own house and piss her parents off. Or, hopefully, it might spill as she throws it on the ground in disgust (loosen the lid ever so slightly).

Or she appreciates it.

A plan with no drawbacks.

How would niece react if you take her to the cinema or whatever, and explain at the start that you've spent all your money on the tickets, and have no money with you?

loving the germs and a tin of paint ideas.

A box within box in a box isn't a bad idea actually, maybe Russian dolls would be fun for her? If I got her that and she didn't like it then this will be absolute last attempt at a gift, vouchers/charity donations from then on.

On our visit to the zoo she maxed me out, I spent all of the cash I had on food she didn't eat, drinks she didn't drink and games/toys. When she asked for more and I said I had no money left she demanded to see in my purse and then said 'use your card?' with a look. Saying 'no' would cause either a huge on the floor screaming tantrum or she will walk off and face a wall with her back to you and refuse to move.

Why don't you explain to your sister the effect her behaviour is having on her child? You don't want to spend time with her anyway so if she cuts you off then it's no real loss. If her behaviour is as bad as you are saying I'm surprised she hasn't been excluded from school. What does she do when friends won't do what she wants or when teachers say no to her?

Funny, I was going to suggest Russian Dolls after I posted about the boxes!!

I think that would be cool - would also make a nice crack when jumped on...

Millions of different designs - we have Santa ones to put out at Christmas :)

www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_trksid=p2050601.m570.l1311.R2.TR10.TRC0.A0.H0.Xrussian+.TRS0&_nkw=russian+dolls&_sacat=0

loving the penguin ones on that link Magnum definitely buying them for myself Can't believe how much cheaper they are on eBay too! A £6 gift being stamped on will be a little easier to take.

Until I posted this thread I didn't really get how bad her behaviour was in general because I thought lots of children were probably like that. She's the only child I have any exposure to so I had no comparison. I only know of that one conversation the teacher had with my sister and the only mixing with other children I know of is with the other GC (not my parent's GC). At her GPs house she has her own room (the other GC don't) with her toys in that aren't for sharing.

At her GPs house she has her own room (the other GC don't) with her toys in that aren't for sharing

That sounds very odd to me. Unless perhaps she spends much more time at their house than the other grandchildren?

Both my parents and in-laws keep toys and children's books at their house - but these are firmly referred to as "toys which belong to grandmother/father" to be played with equally by all visiting grandchildren.

I loved Russian Dolls when I was little. Re. the box in box in box idea - you could always make that a bit like pass the parcel. Tiny gift (perhaps with lots of glitter for added excitement) in each layer, with a slightly better gift at the centre.

My in laws have a DN room Dn toys DN pictures SN football blah

My kids get it rubbed in their faces - it's not that unusual - I think it's called favourites

I'm so gob-smacked by this. Hard to believe that such a child exists. It sounds so dysfunctional. Feel that OP and GPS have a duty to try to step in and save the child from her parents.
What's the dad like? What's the story there? I can't believe anyone actually likes having a child like that around the house - so what do her parents get out of it?