Visiting friend brought a man home.

[RevealTheHiddenBeach]

Not sure on this one. I live with dh in a little 2 bed. Friend has been staying with us all week whilst in our area with her work. We've had a lovely week. Last night she went out with some other people and brought a man home unannounced.

I feel really uncomfortable about this and also like it's a real cheek! She leaves today. We were going to have a nice breakfast but I dont want to make idle small talk with strangers in my own house first thing!

So... aibu to feel this way and wibu to say something?!

Ok. How's this:

Hey lovely, it was really great to see you this week. I just wanted to mention Friday. I felt really uncomfortable that you brought someone unknown (to us!) back to the house, especially without asking. It was really hard to sleep with an unknown stranger next door, and was all a bit weird and out of the blue. Didn't know how to react to be honest, so sorry if I rushed out in the morning.

I'd just ask: who was that man? I'd have appreciated being asked (or OH) if it was ok.

lightbulbon

What a poorly chosen moniker youhave, as it is clearly off

You can shag whoever you want and as many as you want (but here is the kicker) IN YOUR OWN HOME, to turn up as a guest with some bloke you have pulled while pissed is totally OOO and puts your hosts in a really uncomfortable position. It is simply bad manners.

OP,
I think that's a perfect message. It's polite but saying what you want to say.

Can't comment on text - I just don't know how I'd handle it!

But masses of sympathy. BiL from hell did this to us: stayed on sofa; brought girlfriend to stay; had sex on sofa. Was open-plan house too.

I often moan about bil and his strange ways. He is strange in a thousand ways.

Anyway, it was compellingly dreadful. You have all my sympathy.

Oh crap. Just seen DM comment.

DM comment?

It isn't (FUCK OFF DAILY MAIL WANKBADGERS) being used is it?

I sent text and got an instant reply that was very apologetic and said she didn't think at the time and felt awful the next day.

Well, I certainly wouldn't be apologizing for rushing off for a start.

I'd leave it at 'out of the blue' and see what she comes back with.

Bloody awful bad manners on her part.

Ah X post.

Hmm. Didn't quite feel awful enough to apologise until you brought it up though did she? 🙄

LOL @ all the outrage over established couples having sex whilst staying at other people's houses. Is sex in hotel rooms ok?

Extremely rude and completely inappropriate and unreasonable behaviour on her part. I would have difficulty being civil to her again and would probably text her and say that I thought behaviour dreadful and please don't ask to come and stay again. I would not be bothered about losing the friendship; an actual friend would not behave in such a dreadful way.

She hasn't apologised yet SoSLy, it's the OP who is apologising (in that very British way) !

YANBU 100%

The equivalent of what bil did would be to have had sex in the foyer of the hotel. Repeatedly. That, I think, would be the USP of a fairly niche hotel.

I had a friend do this once. The bloke helped himself to the cash in my purse before he left.

Fuck the Daily Mail : bunch of cunts. All was made worse by fact bil is clearly not a knob-washer. It was all horribly boak-inducing.

I'm going to hide this thread so you can as outraged in your responses as you wish.

Honestly, I think the general reaction to this situation on this thread is absolutely pathetic. Also agree with the smug married comments. I find this baying for shaming and punishing of a friend absolutely sickening and once again am glad that I don't know many of those MNetters or in fact those kinds of people in RL.

So what! She brought a man back, get the fuck over it and be a friend! At the very, very most if you're that uncomfortable with it, all you need to say next time you invite her, even if there was a next time, which is unlikely, is jokingly "hey no randoms back tonight please!"

But no ably supported by uptight MNetters you've insisted on shaming her when she is probably already dying a death of embarrassment. It's likely this thread will end up in the DM so her shame may even be internationally known. One bonus though is at least she will see what a whiny, crap friend you are, though I suspect you wouldn't be half as self righteous and pious if you hadn't been ably supported by witch hunt MNetters.

If only the stocks hadn't been abolished then she could really have been brought to book.

Niki you are probably right on all counts.

It's so easy to forget mn is a public forum and not private space in which you can off-load: the disconnect between how we use it (privately, with a phone or laptop) versus what it is ( a very public forum).

And you're right about the disconnect with regard to advice. In RL we tend to opt for solutions that will make RL relationships better, not worse. The internet is not always the place to come for solutions that heal rifts and ease relationships.

Situation is sorted then, glad she eventually apologised even if it was prompted.
My DH would never have let a stranger in our house and neither would I if that had been one of our friends... We do have children though and my friends are all married or in long term relationships now.

"I think the general reaction to this situation on this thread is absolutely pathetic. Also agree with the smug married comments."

Nothing to do with being married or not Nikki. You haven't addressed the safety issues. Did you see my post about random men coming in to my bedroom. You think it's unreasonable to be scared of that??

Oh do fuck off with your cool girl schtick Nicky.