Annoyed by DPs ExWife still having his surname...

[Orangecookie]

I don't know this would get to me, but it just does!

My DP's ExWife still has his surname, and they have kids. He divorced a while ago but we are not married. She does contact him a lot to get him to 'do stuff' like fix shelves, a bit less so now. She sends his in laws cards for their birthdays and Xmas always signed 'from the X surname family'.

Maybe I should just get over myself and not think about it. But it makes me feel like she is still in my DPs 'family unit' more than me. We will marry at some point but the thought of taking his surname also makes me feel weird, like I'd be wife number 2!

Anyone else feel annoyed? Or and I just getting wound up over nothing?

Well you wouldn't like to have my DHs exw to deal with then. She has always kept his surname and both their DCs were very nearly or grown up when they split and are now in their early thirties. She even still uses/doesnt correct someone when they call her Mrs as a prefix to my DHs surname. She has now even remarried (her long sufferng term live in partner) and yes you've guessed it............still keeps her former married surname.......complete with the 'Mrs'

I just ignore.....if there are mind games going on then she's not getting much of a result from me, I'm afraid

Yeah that is a bit weird.

I did enter into the contract not knowing! But I had nothing to lose. Maybe if I had a house and stuff things would have been different.

humbug What mind games?

I'm Mrs, always have been and always will be, even though I am remarried to Mr.

But to me marriage and love are together. Marrying someone you don't love isn't right to me

But to me marriage and love are together. Marrying someone you don't love isn't right to me

What about loving someone you aren't married to?

Well that's ok too. I mean marrying someone you don't love is weird.

*But to me marriage and love are together. Marrying someone you don't love isn't right to me.

Who said anything about people marrying without loving each other? A committed couple who love each other very much might not necessarily see the need to marry but they want the legal protections for their children/each other that come with it. Why is a sensible decision like that wrong?

Maybe it is. It's just never ocoured to me. I'm entitled to think differently to you

But majorly - none of us have said that we don't love our DH's. What we have said is that we didn't get married because we love them.

I would have quite happily remained unmarried, and in love with my DP, if it wasn't for the fact that being married was the cheapest, and most effective way, of entering into a legal contract to provide the legal arrangements that we both wanted.

Why does that make me withered and bitter?

yabu it's her name
you need to get over it

It's just never ocoured to me. I'm entitled to think differently to you

You're not entitled to insult people who think differently to you, though.

I never said you didn't love him. You're just putting words in my mouth now. I just think the reasons are weird and clinical. But that's what I think! We can go over it forever and I will still feel the same just like you will.

Neither are you. I've been insulted on this thread. Shit or get off the pot.

majorly I'm not trying to change the way you think. I am seeking an apology for the insults you threw because I don't think the same way as you.

Could you quote where I have insulted you, please? If I have, I will apologise, but I think you are mistaking me for someone else.

You're not getting an apology out of me. So dream on. I didn't say you specifically I said I have been insulted on the thread. There you go misquoting me.

Your passive aggressiveness about my so called 'baggage' was quite bitchy. I have no baggage... I jut have opinions.

Just not jut

majorly I think you know that you started this with your PA "how romantic" comment - not expecting everyone to pile in and challenge you.

You've backed yourself into a corner; thrown personal insults and judged people based on their life choices.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but they are not entitled to insult others.

I did get a couple of PA digs in back at you - and for that I am sorry. I hope, one day, you'll be able to reflect on this thread and understand why you got the response you did.

I don't give a shit if people react to what I say. I wouldn't have said it otherwise. And your patronising words aren't going to change how I feel.

You don't like it that I've actually answered you back and I think something different to you.

I'm more interested, Majorly, that in this day and age you would declare that you're not a feminist. Why would that be?