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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have not told neighbour we were having a BBQ?

111 replies

RequestInUse · 15/05/2016 10:53

Some nice weather = BBQ's for lots.

AIBU to have not told neighbours we were having one? Not to invite, just inform.

We have a neighbour two doors down who is a bit "one of them". Keeps an eye on everything (not a horrendous trait for safety tbf and you can have a friendly chat with him if you have hrs) but will have a words if he's feeling disgruntled, sometimes it is pretty petty stuff though.

Anyway said neighbour complained to us about the BBQ as he had washing out and windows open. He has in the past, so we tell him if we can see him. But he wasn't about yesterday.

Is informing neighbours the fine thing though?

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 15/05/2016 10:55

Wouldn't have occurred to me!

And does a bbq really make a neighbour's washing smell? It's never been a problem for me.

CraigN24 · 15/05/2016 10:55

I would've still tried to inform him even if it's putting a note through the door.. I would've been very annoyed if I had my washing out and windows open and not informed.

MrPony · 15/05/2016 10:58

I would never think to tell my neighbours we're having a bbq on a sunny day. Everyone has them round here, we'd constantly be going back and forth informing everyone.

SquinkiesRule · 15/05/2016 11:00

No one round us even mentions it. I don;t see why you have to unless it's a party that is going on till the wee hours I don't see it's any of their business, your not having a smoky bonfire.

Patterkiller · 15/05/2016 11:01

If the suns shining we usually move whatever was to be cooked into the kitchen out to the bbq. I have never thought to tell neighbours.

KittyKrap · 15/05/2016 11:01

My lovely ex neighbour would tell me if they were having one and I had the washing out. Never invited us though

achildsjoy · 15/05/2016 11:02

It would not occur to me either, I think you have done nothing wrong.

MaddyHatter · 15/05/2016 11:02

It's polite if they have washing out.

My one lot of neighbours are bbq fiends, I don't have a dryer so I line dry if it's a dry day out from March to October. So do 2 other neighbours, and if you run a smokey bbq, it will, make their house and clothes stink of bbq smoke.

CaptainCallisto · 15/05/2016 11:03

I always do if I can see one of the close neighbours has washing out, but otherwise no. They never reciprocate though so I don't really know why I bother; I just get stuck with stinky sheets

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 15/05/2016 11:04

I think it depends on your layout. Here we don't tell anyone, but nobodies washing is close enough that it would start to smell like bbq. In the old house, we did tell each other because the gardens were narrow and the position of the washing lines meant they could be close enough to start to smell.

I never really noticed the smell until I had some bed sheets out next to someone's bbq!

I think it's just a common sense thing. If he's close enough and has washing out, I'd tell him or move the bbq so it's not close enough to affect his washing. If he's just moaning for the sake of it, I wouldn't bother.

OurBlanche · 15/05/2016 11:05

Crikey! It would never cross my mind to tell or expect to be told. That goes for bonfires too.

If one starts and I think it will be a problem I will move any washing... why would you expect anything else?

Or does washing trump a BBQ in the Important Things in Life stakes?

Muskateersmummy · 15/05/2016 11:05

Have never been informed or informed anyone about a bbq unless I was inviting them to come over with a bottle!

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 15/05/2016 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PerryHatter · 15/05/2016 11:05

Kitty why would you expect to be invited

hmcAsWas · 15/05/2016 11:05

If I was having a BBQ and it was a bit of a social gathering and was likely to go on beyond 9 or 10pm I might mention it, but otherwise it wouldn't occur to me. Certainly not during the day.

It did used to piss me off a bit when previous next door neighbour would have friends over and be making noise late into the evening in the garden just a few feet away from my dd's bedroom window. Had they forewarned me I could have arranged for dd to sleep in a different room further away from the noise

PastaLaFeasta · 15/05/2016 11:06

It makes the washing smell really badly and means it needs to go back in the machine and washed and hung all over again. So yes it would be helpful and thoughtful to inform neighbours, particularly if you can see they have washing in their garden. Our neighbours don't tell us despite being able to see the washing very clearly.

OurBlanche · 15/05/2016 11:06

Ah! Myinlaws I think you might be on to something. Given the other odours of rural life maybe I just don't consider a BBQ to be an issue

Might be very different if I didn't live near slurry

DaveCamoron · 15/05/2016 11:07

We had a BBQ last Saturday and the immediate neighbours to our left had hung out washing and then gone out for the day, by 18:00 they still weren't back so I lit the BBQ anyway, what else can you do?

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 15/05/2016 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MangoBiscuit · 15/05/2016 11:09

I would like to be told if you're having a garden fire and I have washing out, but not for a BBQ.

KittyKrap · 15/05/2016 11:10

Kitty why would you expect to be invited

We got on with them really well, during the winter they'd have parties with their friends in the house and would invite us, then we moved. The husband would drink a lot and smoke weed and the wife was terrified we'd be horrified and judge them. No other reason!

StarryIllusion · 15/05/2016 11:11

We normally do if they are in and have washing out because our houses are quite close quarters and it really does make the washing stink. I wouldn't go round to all our other neighbours though, just next door.

Original poster

RequestInUse · 15/05/2016 11:11

Phew I'm pleased I'm not they only one it didn't even occur to, tell people, well it didn't, until we moved here.

Gardens here are quite small and close but we had our doors and windows open throughout and I do t think the house stinks of BBQ....

OP posts:

OurBlanche · 15/05/2016 11:12

Yup! For the last 12 years I lived between 2 farms and worked on an agricultural campus. So I regularly drive between one muck spread and the next... the dried blood and bone stuff is gaggingly disgusting, you have my boundless sympathy.

I thought moving into 'town' would change all that. But it is a very small, rural town, surrounded by the same farms... tractors of shite still roll past the front door

WorraLiberty · 15/05/2016 11:13

We only tell next door (if they have their washing out), but that's just out of politeness.

If I really think about it, the smoke travels across at least 5 gardens and 2 of those are in another street.

We're hardly likely to go doing the rounds in the neighbourhood, knocking on doors like sales people

But apart from that, I have never in all my years of hanging out washing, smelled BBQ smoke on it when I take it in.

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