Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have not told neighbour we were having a BBQ?

111 replies

RequestInUse · 15/05/2016 10:53

Some nice weather = BBQ's for lots.

AIBU to have not told neighbours we were having one? Not to invite, just inform.

We have a neighbour two doors down who is a bit "one of them". Keeps an eye on everything (not a horrendous trait for safety tbf and you can have a friendly chat with him if you have hrs) but will have a words if he's feeling disgruntled, sometimes it is pretty petty stuff though.

Anyway said neighbour complained to us about the BBQ as he had washing out and windows open. He has in the past, so we tell him if we can see him. But he wasn't about yesterday.

Is informing neighbours the fine thing though?

OP posts:
wheresthel1ght · 15/05/2016 15:34

I think if you can see washing is out it is polite to mention it. If neighbours are out I would try and position the be so it wasn't blowing in their direction or see if I could get into their garden and bring the washing in if I could

MaddyHatter · 15/05/2016 15:46

who's talking about asking permission? That IS bonkers.

All i was saying was its polite that if your neighbours have washing on the line, you just give them a quick heads up so that they can take it in, rather than having your latest attempt at smoking the street out, stinking it up.

Gas BBQ's aren't so much of a problem, but the smoke that Charcoal ones produce is dreadful, especially if its blowing over the fence!

SquinkiesRule · 15/05/2016 15:49

I find this quite odd, you warn someone if you are going to make cooking smells, unless they are very bad bbq ers and make lots of burned meat the smell is no more than you get when I put my cooker hood on. Dh has vented it outside. The neighbors washing line is close to my kitchen (where the vent is) Does this mean I should tell her when I'm going to fry onions or cook bacon. I can smell them if I walk outside while the vent is on.

BeauGlacons · 15/05/2016 15:53

When we lived I London, yes we did mention it and expect it to be mentioned because of the washing. Since we moved there's an acre between gardens so it doesn't matter.

I think you have to have lived in close quarters to be sensitive to it. 25 years ago our London neighbours were elderly and they came and had a word about it being inappropriate to hang out washing on Sundays and explained it was a little vulgar.

dementedma · 15/05/2016 15:56

If I have washing out our downstairs neighbour will let me know if they are having a BBQ. Fortunately not very often. I am the only one who doesn't feel the BBQ love? Cant be arsed with lugging everything out and back in again to eat slabs of meat/burgers/sausages. Not a fan

BeauGlacons · 15/05/2016 16:03

What do you have to lug in and out? All I do is set the table in the garden and pit the meat on the barbecue. It isn't any bother.

Natsku · 15/05/2016 16:07

Would not occur to me to tell my neighbours. Our neighbours have BBQs nearly every night when the weather is nice - their BBQ being a distance of roughly one metre from our back door (tiny gardens here). The only thing that annoys me is that the smell makes me long for a BBQ myself!

Wauden · 15/05/2016 16:13

My neighbour but one had a really stinky and long bonfire and BBQ. It was like they were burning things other than wood. It was on a rare sunny day so I had the windows open and the sheets on the line. I had to close the windows and my bed linen stunk. She really could not have timed it worse.
The aluminium tray BBQs are nasty (and aluminium has been linked to Alzheimer's) but at least they don't last so long.
Grrr!

AliensInUnderpants12 · 15/05/2016 16:14

Our neighbour saw us setting up our BBQ and asked if we wanted to borrow some of her garden chairs Grin That's the type of neighbour we all need!

Elleblue78 · 15/05/2016 16:34

Ay?! Seriously?

We had one yesterday, lit it about 4, noticed there was washing in the neighbours garden but was already lit, the wind was blowing the smoke in opposite direction anyway - but no I wouldn't have told them, neither have they ever told us.

Don't see the issue.

Love the smell of BBQ anyway ;-)

harrisntasha · 15/05/2016 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tamarandave · 15/05/2016 16:37

Would have let sleeping dogs lie. Why potentially cause offence by not inviting but just telling? As long as you are doing nothing wrong why tell them? Also if they had objected, would you have cancelled it? No, so why bother.

Its a nice thing to be polite, but its only polite if you include an invite...even if you know they wont turn up...

Even if you dont like them much or they are not your type, always invite the neighbours for a BBQ. Its the best and most relaxed way to get to know them...far easier and less awkward than coming for tea etc.

CodyKing · 15/05/2016 16:43

It would not occur to me either, I think you have done nothing wrong

I'm in the minority - I think it's bad manners to light a fire without warning the neighbour their washing is still out! Always have done -

I get annoyed when neighbours do this to my washing -

Sorry but you should have told him

gottachangethename1 · 15/05/2016 16:44

Just taken in my washing from the line as neighbours three doors down are having a bbq. Not a problem if people can barbecue properly, but cheap meat and crap cooking make the smoke billow out like a fire at a tyre factoryAngry

amarmai · 15/05/2016 16:45

my downstairs neighbour has a bbq in her patio just below my bedroom french doors. Soon as i smell the meat i shut them sharpish. I'm veggie , but can get mouth watering at steak cooking and don't let me smell bacon, please!

StillRabbit · 15/05/2016 16:46

I tell my immediate neighbours if they have their washing out and they do the same for me. They and us use fire pits with charcoal or wood so it's not the cooking we are warning about but the smoke. We all tend to be considerate of each other though and we dont tend to light up until late afternoon so washing is generally ready to be taken in anyway.

Winterbiscuit · 15/05/2016 16:47

Yes, I think it's good manners to let the neighbours know, so they can take their washing in. I will also shut the windows if someone's having a barbecue because I don't like the gas smell!

dementedma · 15/05/2016 16:48

We are in an upstairs flat so have to lug out crockery/glasses/cutlery, meat, bread/rolls, salads, sauces and dips.......really not worth the bloody bother. It then all needs to be lugged in again. Easier to eat inside where everything is, then sit out and enjoy the sunshine.

LaBelleOtero · 15/05/2016 16:55

I would let the neighbours know if we had a bonfire going, but not a BBQ.

RedToothBrush · 15/05/2016 16:55

I wasn't aware of this until the other when I saw a news article on the same subject (link is the same as the news article I saw but I can't find the original)
13 ways you could be breaking the law without realising it

It seems that technically, barbeque smoke can legally be classed as a nuisance.

That said, I wouldn't inform the neighbours. But then we also have a gas barbeque so there is not the same anyway.

whois · 15/05/2016 16:55

Yes washing does trump BBQ when you work all week

PMSL that I shouldn't have a BBQ because you haven't sorted your washing out.

gabbyevs · 15/05/2016 17:02

my old neighbours used to light fires abot once a month was annoying but they never warned us-always had something to say about everyone elses business though

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 15/05/2016 17:06

Bonkers.

It's just a BBQ not a ton of truck tyres.

mumeeee · 15/05/2016 17:11

I hate it when our neighbor has a BBQ and the washing is out. Have to get it in quick as I don't like it smelling of BBQ.
Its fine if they tell me they are having one because then I would make sure that the washing in.

Winterbiscuit · 15/05/2016 17:25

Yes washing does trump BBQ when you work all week

And when you don't.

Washing is to get things clean, so why would anyone want it covered in smoke and bits of ash?