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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why are police so useless and dont try prevent things

259 replies

Kitty3E · 15/05/2016 03:55

I'm having an issue with upstairs, im on my phone typing this so excuse mistakes.
Phoned police after last straw of upstairs who kicked my door three times as he left to go out.
He purposely stamps on the floor, walks arlund in boots 24/7 on laminate and makes noise whilst he knows im in a particular room. I understand perfectly these things arent a police matter

I called police for him kicking my door three times earlier and just as he came in at 2am

I called police at around 7pm, they just turned up at 3.40am woke me up to say they dont think its harassment
I said my partner who doesnt live with me is loosing his cool and they said to ask my partner to have a word with him Hmm
I said my partner will prob beat him up due to it beig clear he is a coward who is only picking on me cause im a young lone female with a baby.
They said its the cluncil duty of care but said they will notify intelligence due to him smoking weed n dealing

I honestly feel like its going to kick off very soon
Im trying to prevent this but it is very hard this man is trying to upset me and nobody will help me

What should i do

OP posts:
Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 15/05/2016 11:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

limitedperiodonly · 15/05/2016 11:55

I'm sorry you feel so threatened but you really shouldn't be complaining about the police.

Why?

MidniteScribbler · 15/05/2016 12:17

They came based on your 2am phone call. Because it's generally expected that anyone who finds it necessary to call the police at 2am is an urgent matter. You know, like burglary, rape, drugs or murder. Not tyre door kicking.

Makesomethingupyouprick · 15/05/2016 12:25

The Police wouldn't have come at 3.40am in response to a 7pm call about someone kicking a door if you hadn't called again at 2am. That suggests something serious is going on or that the caller is extremely distressed and waiting up for the Police.

Why would you call again at 2am and then expect them to wait till the morning? You either need/want the Police to come round soon or you don't.

If I phoned the Police again at 2am, I'd be expecting them to come round when they could so I'd wait up. I'd probably complain if I'd phoned again at 2am and they decided to wait to the morning. Plus it's completely different shifts for them.

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 15/05/2016 12:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/05/2016 12:27

I fail to see how this is not harassment.

AndTakeYourPenguinWithYou · 15/05/2016 12:41

Someone, could be anyone, kicking a door is not harrassment and is not a police matter.
OP telling the police her boyfriend is going to beat up her neighbour is more concerning.

OP, if your partner is so concerned about you being a lone female with a baby, why doesn't he live with you?

Dolphinsanddinosaurs · 15/05/2016 12:42

Are you really saying it is down to the police to prevent your DP from beating up your neighbour?? Is this the first incident of door kicking, and do you definitely know it was your neighbour doing it? It could be harassment if this keeps happening, but as a one off it wouldn't be, and I'd imagine you didn't actually see who did it, given you were the other side of the door?

PortiaCastis · 15/05/2016 12:47

Sounds awful but I'm concerned that you have such an aggressive partner.

MardleBum · 15/05/2016 12:57

Myinlaws

Eh? Confused You don't get to have in laws if you have a boyfriend who gets you PG but can't even be bothered to live with you and support you and his child.

Original poster
Kitty3E · 15/05/2016 12:57

The point is certain males feel brave when it comes to a female. My dp was in the whole day a couple weeks ago the guy upstairs was behaving normally, like normal walking living noise ect.
Then as soon as my car pulls up and i come in he starts stamping around in shoes.
There is nothing wrong with my dp because he is a normal male and doesnt like some coward bullying a female, even if it wasnt me and a stranger.
He does not live with me because of his job and away a lot.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kitty3E · 15/05/2016 12:59

He does support me, I dont understand why some of you are trying to insult my partner. You dont know my situation regarding that nor is it relevant to this thread. Just derailing again.

OP posts:
MardleBum · 15/05/2016 12:59

oh God I am SO sorry, I misread that as the OP saying her in-laws woke her up at 4am.

Ignore me Kitty Blush

limitedperiodonly · 15/05/2016 13:03

Are you really saying it is down to the police to prevent your DP from beating up your neighbour??

It is, in a manner of speaking. The police's primary role is to keep the peace. Most crime is petty stuff which sometimes escalates - like an arsehole making a nuisance of himself until someone gets so angry they retaliate.

The police should explain why retaliation is a bad idea and advise you to let them deal with it. Then they should deal with it or at least show you they are taking things seriously by talking to the arsehole and asking him to behave himself so that the next time they get called, it's not to a serious assault or worse. That's not just me saying that. That's what the police told me. They were excellent and I've no complaints about them but if they'd dismissed it, I would.

AndNowItsSeven · 15/05/2016 13:05

But perplexed who work away still live with their part members when they aren't working.

AndNowItsSeven · 15/05/2016 13:06

ahh people not perplexed and partners not part members Confused

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 15/05/2016 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AndNowItsSeven · 15/05/2016 13:09

Penny dropped is that why you don't want to live with your partner op as you wouldn't be able to claim as a lone parent?

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 15/05/2016 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AndNowItsSeven · 15/05/2016 13:15

You were right the first time my in laws , it is you're.

HawkEyeTheNoo · 15/05/2016 13:15

You say he stamps on the floor of whatever room he knows you are in. How noisy are you that he can identify what room you are in?

Original poster
Kitty3E · 15/05/2016 13:21

I'm not on benefits nor is my partner. I really don't understand why people are trying to insult me on here?

Hawk I listen to the radio on my phone a lot so suppose he hears it or the tap running, no soundproofing in this place.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kitty3E · 15/05/2016 13:22

I did not say i was a lone parent i said i was a lone woman. If my partner is away most the time i am alone.

OP posts:
unlucky83 · 15/05/2016 13:22

It does sound like it might be harassment ...and if it is you have my sympathy -it isn't just a matter of having your door kicked once in a while..
I had years living next door to a nightmare from hell neighbour - he did lots of little things - not really police matters but it was the whole lot together.
Eg One thing he did was to park on my bumper, like 2cm away. We all have to park on the main road and he was trying to block me in. I would try and park further away etc to avoid it but couldn't always. I spoke to the police informally (and he was known to them) they said it was a public road etc -nothing they could do - if he did block me in try and get another neighbour to move if I couldn't call them and they would come to talk to him. This went on for years (I never needed to call them) but I had to leave early for appointments etc in case he had managed to block me in... He would stop for months then I'd 'upset' him (had to rack my brains to think what I'd 'done' ) and start again. The police started taking it seriously when he started doing it to DP too - Dp went round at 8.30am to knock him up to get him to move and they nearly came to blows...
They went and had a word and started an harassment case, I had to keep a log, take photos, report certain things to them. But because he would be ok for a couple of months it took ages, officers kept changing etc. (actually introduction of Police Scotland sent me back to the start). By then I was constantly on edge...I was nervous coming home or going out in case he was around and started having a go at me - I wouldn't hang my washing out in my back garden without checking from an upstairs window if he was around first. The police had told him he wasn't allowed to come round and knock on my door any more but even so I would jump when someone did knock unexpectedly. You start to feel paranoid ..he used to stand at his front door smoking and had an awful smokers cough. Every time I opened the front door he would start - loud hacking and spitting. I realised I could hear him cough from one room in the house - he did cough occasionally but only did the loud constant hacking when he heard my door open.
He died suddenly and then I realised just what constant stress I'd been under, how awful it had been - I'd be walking DC home from school and would tense up as I came to turn the corner and would be able to see if he was around, I started hoping he wasn't around a mile away from home - especially if I had shopping to carry in so it would take me a while (I started getting tesco deliveries to avoid it) - maybe a year after his death I was gardening (something I only did when he was on holiday) and someone on the street coughed and I jumped and my heart froze with fear...
Having said all that if I was in that situation again I would move asap - even if I lost money etc - it wasn't worth the years of misery and fear ...

PortiaCastis · 15/05/2016 13:23

Ah no sound proofing this makes all the difference.