To not want to tell my OH about my personal groomin??

[Heresashitinaboxpat]

I refer to this as mummy maintaince and what I mean is... I'm bleaching my upper lip and finding where my bikini line ends and leg hair begins!
Should I be honest?
Do you ladies/ gents keep anything like this secret?

Also I'm the one who plucks the rogue chin hairs, which come out with a most satisfying "sproing!".

I sniggered a little at this I can imagine DP plucking the hairs. But I use a small epilator which catches them all quite quickly.

In general I do armpits, legs, upper lip. I may occasionally trim my bush and veet the bikini line when I'm likely to be swimming. But otherwise the bush is left alone as it's more comfortable.

Boxpat I shelled out for a Nono with my post-menopausal moustache and face fuzz in mind. It was very impressive the first couple of times I used it - a great smell of burning hair and a nice smooth finish but after that it grew less efficient even after I bought extra heads for it. Luckily I had bought it from an online shopping channel (other suppliers are available) which offered a 90 day money back guarantee so I only lost the price of new heads and p&p, which was still about 30 quid

Last week I enquired about laser treating my facial hair but apparently IPL is not effective on fair, fine, fuzzy hair. The practitioner suggested I look into having it lasers but that sounds quite brutal..unless a MNer can tell me different.

How hairy are you, those who happily bare all unshaven? And how dark is your hair? I'm very hairy, and my leg hairs are black and very very visible.

I envy your bravery. I want to be able to be like that. I haven't been brave enough yet. It really saddens me that in my natural state, a very hairy one, I'm considered by so many people to be revolting.

My other half knows me and all my messy nasty bits that I have to prune to look less messy and nasty, don't go as far as letting him come into the bathroom while I'm having a poo though! haha. Your personal stuff, do as you will with it :)

Sorry- but why is your natural body hair "messy and nasty"? Why do women think this way about their bodies?

Bertrand exactly. I said it upthread and I'll say it again - why are women so repulsed by themselves? It's really sad. Imagine a man starting a thread like this and talking in hushed, embarrassed tones about his 'daddy maintenance'.

Grimya it's not about bravery, it's about understanding that our bodies are natural and normal and not in the slightest bit disgusting.

Why would he even be interested? Instead of overthinking this I'd be finding him a hobby.

I honestly don't want to seem like I'm trolling but I am trying to find a nice way to ask - to those of you who feel this negatively by your own, perfectly natural, body hair, or with partners who feel this way... how are your reconciling this with your DCs? Are your sons and daughters learning this stuff from you & DP?

I'm not saying you have to go full bush, moustache and yeti-legs to be body-positive! (I personally remove hair from quite a few bits of myself) But being embarrassed if your DP sees you grooming seems to deny the reality of our bodies somewhat and sends a strong message about women's body image to kids of any gender. I worry that our insecurities just get passed on this way..

If DH shouted 'buuuush' at me because I was unshaven, he would be sleeping alone that night and forever more.

I do try to keep up with the body maintenance routine, moreso in summer, but he has never commented on it (or seemingly noticed!). I think I could be hairy as a gibbon, he wouldn't care

I think they may not say it but men are conditioned to think woman having hairy legs etc is unattractive, but they don't like to tell us this stuff. Easier to remove it as not something I like myself anyway and not sure why it needs to be discussed unless for some reason it's going to take a long time. I think there are probably things we don't mind attractive like ear and nostril hair, most men just get on and remove it. Not a big deal.

trill I think you just drum into them about personal preference don't you? I hate hair but when it comes time for my daughter to go through it I'll make sure she does is what is comfortable.

Yeah - I prefer to be fairly hairless too - but I certainly wouldn't be OK with DH mentioning it if I dropped the ball for a bit.

He can think what he likes (in his own head ) but it certainly doesn't seem to put him off (or I'd be very hairy indeed) - Joke. He may prefer it if I looked like Rosie Huntingon-Whitely as well - but that's not too likely after 3dc - and he can keep some thoughts to himself.

Personally, I wished he looked like James Norton - but I'll keep those thoughts to myself too...

I'm a chronic oversharer too!
Sentences such as "look at where I cut myself shaving!", "I'm going to try using veet on my pits" and "I can't believe how quickly I'm soaking through tampons today" just trip out if my mouth to any family member unlucky enough to be in the vicinity.

DH seems to take it in his stride. No choice, really. In any case, I feel that as long as he keeps farting in bed and taking 30 minute stink-bomb dumps, anything I say or do is mild!

I tell him I'm going to wax my legs then wax all the needed bits

never mind do you tell him, why the fuck is he interested ?

UmbongoUnchained Thanks for replying. I guess I just wondered if folk are so keen on 'keeping it a secret' how those conversations get to happen?

My XP admitted that while he was growing up, he didn't realise that girls got underarm hair too!! He thought it was like a full beard etc, that we just didn't grow it. His mum had always shaved, he'd never seem women on tv with hairy armpits, he had no clue bless him! I doubt that could happen now, but it makes me giggle.

Don't be ashamed OP, no need for secrets. Just tell DP/DCs when they're old enough that you're bleaching your upper lip hair and you're more comfortable doing that in private!

My fiancé is Black African and literally has zero body hair (so bloody unfair!) But he doesn't seem to care that I do and I don't hide the fact that I have to shave body parts... I try not to pluck my chin hairs in front of him too much though! 😂

Your partner sees you naked and has likely seen you give birth... don't get hung up about what they see and don't see.

Get this ladies- its not even using a ladies razor- He uses one of his gilette ones although I think He just buys it for me only now

Christ I hope you're trying to wind people up. You do know all razors are the same, even if they aren't purple with sparkly bits

When I was recuperating from surgery, DP shaved my legs for me (and my bikini line.) He couldn't give a shite but I had to go for Aqua-Physio and couldn't bear to put on a swimsuit with hair all over the place!

Grimya I have v dark hair, and it is very obvious!
The older I get, the less of a shit I give about anyone elses opinions (and I'm only 31, dread to think what I'll be like at 60!)

I have genuinely had women make retching noises, stupid faces/comments etc at my armpit hair. I just laugh and tell them I'd rather be hairy and happy, than shallow and mindless. Generally shuts them up.

DP couldn't care less what I do with my body hair, but if he did, he could either put up and shut up, or piss off, I don't want to be with someone who won't accept my choices, I had years of that, never again.

I don't get the "ladies raser" thing either. I use a Mach 3 (or something like that. ) that I just buy heads for in Boots. Works fine, it doesn't have to be pink and plastic

razor

I've read some threads on MN over the years but Jesus Christ on a bike, some of the posts on this one have rendered me speechless.

I am so glad that some of you are truly happy and body confident it's a bit contagious... Thanks ladies!

I am body confident but I don't share.Our personal grooming is done in private. He really wouldn't want to know and I have no interest in giving him narrative.