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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to tell my OH about my personal groomin??

194 replies

Heresashitinaboxpat · 13/05/2016 19:47

I refer to this as mummy maintaince and what I mean is... I'm bleaching my upper lip and finding where my bikini line ends and leg hair begins!
Should I be honest?
Do you ladies/ gents keep anything like this secret?

OP posts:
Helmetbymidnight · 13/05/2016 20:12

I would call it 'getting ready' (either for going out or to bed) if dh ever asked.
But he does not ask.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/05/2016 20:12

You're going to find your 'mummy maintenance' term on the 'what makes you cringe thread?'...and it wouldn't be misplaced there, it's really bad.

Why would you tell him anything? Just smile and look mysterious, shutting the door firmly behind you.

I don't tell my husband anything about my grooming and I find women that do quite odd (because it's anathema to me). Couples don't need to know everything about each other - and particularly nothing to do with grooming or bathroom activities.

BoomBoomsCousin · 13/05/2016 20:14

Call it what you like OP. All these posters will have moved n tho some other drama by time you utter those words out loud again!

I don't keep those sorts of things a secret and I think it's a bit of a shame you feel like it's not something you can let him know about. But it doesn't matter that you hide it. It would only matter if you thought he would actually be nasty about it if he found out. In which case it's the bloke that needs to go, not anything you do.

PixieChops · 13/05/2016 20:15

I call it self care. Find mummy maintenance a bit cringe.

UmbongoUnchained · 13/05/2016 20:16

Tell him you're bleaching your asshole.

He won't ask again.

DoreenLethal · 13/05/2016 20:18

I never had this issue before children!

I don't understand. Talk us through what happens when you close the door to the bathroom.

PixieChops · 13/05/2016 20:19

Umbomgo GrinGrin

PixieChops · 13/05/2016 20:20

Doreen it would appear that OP turns into a werewolf once the bathroom door is closed and it's a race against time to shave before anyone finds out or the sun comes up (whichever one should happen first)

wheresthel1ght · 13/05/2016 20:22

I too call it mummy maintenance and I think those of you saying boak and calling it cringed need to get a bloody grip.

Courtesy of pcos and pregnancy hormones I get dark hairs on my upper lip and chin. I tell him it's his fault too so he can big off and out the kettle on while I do some mummy maintenance - it is a lighthearted way of telling him I am bleaching/hair removal creaming things he doesn't need to know about.

I am not about to tell him I am shaving my vagina and waxing my lip - I would like to keep a modicum of self respect thanks

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 13/05/2016 20:23

Do you mean you are hairier now than before you had kids?

ghostyslovesheep · 13/05/2016 20:24

I can not imagine a single conversation where it would even come up - so why is 'not sharing it' an issue - just - you know - don't offer it up in the first place!

JustLostTheGame · 13/05/2016 20:24

I would like to keep a modicum of self respect thanks

How on earth do you lose respect for yourself by shaving your body hair? Confused

Sallystyle · 13/05/2016 20:24

I showed DH my pits and legs yesterday. It had been a long time since I had shaved.

I also asked him to pick me up a nose trimmer because I've developed nostril hairs that are poking out.

So yes, he knows all about my grooming activities but only because I tell him. He would never ask me what I'm doing in the bathroom because that would be quite odd.

Cabrinha · 13/05/2016 20:25

Do you not think he realises you've shaved though? Confused

I don't explicitly chat to my boyfriend about what I'm doing - but almost anything he walked in on would be fine. He's pointed out a chin hair in the past "fuck that's long - how did you miss it?" Grin

The only thing that he does not know that I have to do is wax my arse crack. He knows all about other waxing in general area, but the hairy crack that came with my 40s perturbs me greatly and will remain my secret.

Cabrinha · 13/05/2016 20:26

*genital area
Not general!

Sallystyle · 13/05/2016 20:26

I would like to keep a modicum of self respect thanks

I have plenty of self respect, thanks. Having hair that I sometimes deal with is not a self respect issue.

2rebecca · 13/05/2016 20:26

No, likewise he shaves the hairs at the back of his neck etc without telling me. Some things don't need to be shared.
I share the stuff I need to share. Other people's minor grooming stuff isn't that exciting.
I never feel the need to give it a name. I'm just in the bathroom, what I'm doing there is none of his business. If I'm going to be a while I'll check he doesn't need a wee first

EvansAndThePrince · 13/05/2016 20:27

I get why you call it that, it's fine. But I don't get why your DH (who presumably saw you give birth?) can't know that you've got a bit of a jungle now Grin

Personally I walk about starkers and if my "Mummy maintenance" isn't up to scratch DH points and shouts "Buuuush!" Grin

2rebecca · 13/05/2016 20:28

I lock the door when I'm in the bathroom for more than a quick wee. No-one walks in on me.

Original poster
Heresashitinaboxpat · 13/05/2016 20:28

So glad u get it but sorry it's the same for u

OP posts:
Twinkie1 · 13/05/2016 20:28

I'm not blessed with a Rachel sadly but have had DH go at me with the clippers before going to be waxed when heavily pregnant!

We poo in front of each other if needs be and he'll hold my hair back whilst I throw up.

He'd wonder WTAF Mummy Maintenance was!

Original poster
Heresashitinaboxpat · 13/05/2016 20:29

Wheresthel1ght that's for u sorry if that's spelt wrong had some wine

OP posts:
2rebecca · 13/05/2016 20:29

Be proud of your bushes whilst you can still grow them. I'm perimenopausal and the forest looks like it's been thinned.

houseeveryweekend · 13/05/2016 20:30

Its up to you and what you feel comfortable with! Don't start getting worried he wont find you attractive or something if you let on that you do it though. Honestly my OH knows that I have to shave my belly because I get a line of hair down from my belly button to my pubes like a man.... but it seems that its much less of an issue for him than it is for me... I don't think hed notice or care if I didn't shave it off but it personally makes me feel manky not to! Ive got a hairy big toe too and just the one as well haha not even both! My OH thought it was weird that I used to shave my toe so I just stopped doing it and actually no ones ever noticed. x

Original poster
Heresashitinaboxpat · 13/05/2016 20:33

You lot who r like minded and lovely and supportive thank you so much

OP posts:
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