To not want to breast feed?

[LouBlue1507]

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and have decided I'm going to bottle feed my baby.

I know breast is best but the thought of breast feeding really grosses me out and makes me feel sick. It's not something I will feel comfortable doing either.

Not only that but I don't want my baby stuck on my chest all the time.

Before I get flamed, I have nothing against women who choose to breastfeed, I have no problem seeing it, Just the thought of me doing it myself grosses me out.

Are there any other mums to be that feel the same or similar? x

It's entirely your choice. However the fact you feel like you need to make a post about it suggests you're not entirely happy with the choice. I felt the same with my daughter, the idea really made me uncomfortable but I didn't know why. I'm now still feeding her at 10.5 months because it turned out breastfeeding wasn't as creepy to me as I thought. I'm glad I tried but I can respect that other women don't want to. Just make sure it's an informed choice that YOU are happy with. You don't have to justify it to anyone else. I didn't breastfeed my first and I must say I do regret that because I feel it wasn't an informed decision. Good luck with your baby, it's a really exciting time x

Breastfeeding doesn't feel like your nipple is being sucked

I have v sensitive nipples and I can't even feel them when feeding my 8 week old.

My mum felt the same, and bottle fed from day 1. I'm fine, no ill effects. Your body your choice. Might be worth suspending your dislike of the idea for long enough to give your baby the colostrum. It is very valuable from a health and immunity perspective.

Writer I'm not sure if there's a term for it but I know it's relatively common and to do with hormones.

I don't agree with your second part, we are all "grossed out" by different things. It doesn't mean we think the act is objectively revolting, being grossed out is often irrational!

have v sensitive nipples and I can't even feel them when feeding my 8 week old.

I could feel them.

What your point? Why are you posting?

I've posted because I wanted to know if there were others who felt the same, if it changed etc. It's also interesting to get different opinions. Maybe I posted in the wrong section? Who cares!

Yanbu. The thought of you being sick and grossed out is way more important than giving your newborn the best nutritional start in life, I mean antibodies and all the other compounds found ONLY on breastmilk can't be that important can they. The World Health Organisation and all the studies must be wrong eh. hmm Put your child first ffs.

Bitchiest post ever, even by this forums standards.

You must not get out much if you think that's the bitchiest post ever seen on MN. But hey, why let a few things like facts from silly little organisations like WHO get in the way?

Of course it's OP's choice how she feeds her child but it's a sad day when people think breastfeeding is gross.

I know many who would love to have breastfed but can't.

Which has precisely zero to do with the OP metime. The inability of some women to breastfeed when they want to do so has no place in a discussion about whether an individual woman wants to do it or not. I'm not getting involved with the rest of the thread: OP must be a GF because nobody's stupid enough to post in AIBU for genuine help and opinions whilst also using the word disgusting about breastfeeding. But the irrelevance of other women's breastfeeding problems needed pointing out.

So sorry totally disagree with the constant crap spouted about the wonders and joy of breast feeding!

I took the decision early on not to breast feed due to drugs I had to have during pregnancy & post-delivery. As it turned out, the meds affected my milk production anyway, so a no-goer. My DS had no problems with the usual sniffles etc babies tend to be troubled by in the first year.

At his 9month check the health visitor confidently stated -

'Ah, breast fed!'...My reply,

'No, good routine, healthy home cooked and prepared food for weaning and the MASSIVE course of antibiotics he had to have during the first week of life due to hospital cock-up during delivery!'

Don't be bullied or emotionally blackmailed into doing something you don't feel happy or comfortable with - IT'S YOUR CHOICE! No-one has the right to even think of telling you you're wrong or not doing the best for your baby. It's usually those who have been lucky enough to conceive without difficulty, have had nothing to worry about, other that swollen ankles, and try to hard to portray the illusion of being Mother Earth personified, who pontificate the apparent 'joys'!

No baby is going to thrive unless Mum is happy and content, and that won't happen if you start doing something you don't feel comfortable with - your mental health and physical well-being are important.

You may well change your mind after your bundle of joy arrives, but make it YOUR decision! Whatever you decide, be happy with your choice, don't let others take away the joy of the early baby stage - it goes fast enough without sweating the rubbish others feel entitled to throw your way.

Of course it's OP's choice how she feeds her child but it's a sad day when people think breastfeeding is gross.

This. I have so many friends who've tried breastfeeding and desperately wanted it too succeed and for many reasons have had to stop. Totally respect their choices.

But for someone to not even attempt it because they think it's gross I find very sad tbh.

It freaks me out too. I have to brace myself even to look at someone doing it. I don't know why, its just one of those irrational things like when I have to get rid of a spider. I know logically they are not disgusting, they are perfectly normal creatures that I will see everywhere and they can't hurt me, they are tiny but the idea of putting a glass over one or even hitting it. It just repells me. I can't do it. Same with breastfeeding. I couldn't do it. Even though I don't feel its gross as such there is just something about it that makes me feel panicky and ick. I will probably pump tbh, you could try that?

I know what you mean though, you feel like you're letting them down by not and that you might be judged for it.

I genuinely don't give a hoot what other people do, it's entirely up to you.

But you may be interested in hearing how I feel about one aspect (or not!!): my DM bottle fed me from birth. I actually feel quite annoyed that she didn't even try to breastfeed me. I know it seems silly but I feel like, even as a newborn she wasn't interested in my wellbeing. As though I was a burden to be shared rather than a tiny, utterly dependent baby.

It may sound really stupid bit since having (and admittedly breastfeeding) my DS I feel quite resentful towards her in this respect.

YANBU. The thought of it grossed me out too. I didn't change my mind once they were born and was quite happy bottle feeding. No-one attempted to change my mind, no-one judged me for it (to my face at least and I couldn't have cared less in any case!).

I was quite happy with my breasts where they were , and with them not ending up saggy and like deflated balloons! Selfish? Meh. Kids were fine, grew up fine, certainly had no more childhood illnesses than any others. Fewer if anything. Breast might be best, but it wasn't for me. And as there is absolutely no difference whatsoever in the outcome for breast-fed and bottle-fed babies I really can't get worked up about it.

Your choice entirely!

I chose to ff from birth Op.

I decided BF wouldn't be for me.

I really enjoyed the early months and got into a great little routine with dd. she couldn't have been healthier. It's amazing stuff.

I used to find the idea of breastfeeding slightly yucky - until I got pregnant, and then I wouldn't even consider the idea of not doing what was best for my baby

^^this

Like others have said, you may feel differently once baby is born. Just like making a birth plan, try to be open to other ideas - I had no idea that I'd feel the way I did during and after birth, it's a unique experience. Personally I found bf tricky for a while but bf groups really helped me and I'm still bf my 14mo now. It is my 2nd biggest achievement (giving birth is my 1st!) and the closeness I feel is like nothing else

Best wishes

I was quite happy with my breasts where they were , and with them not ending up saggy and like deflated balloons

Charming.

My mum breastfed four of us. She has perfectly perky boobs!

StarryIllusion I think we're on a similar wavelength, even when it comes to spiders! It's nice to know I'm not the only one

rather it's pregnancy that makes your breasts saggy, not bf

If you're entirely happy with your decision (which it doesn't sound like you are, as you're inviting opinion here) then fair enough. As long as it's an informed decision then it's your decision to make.

Incidentally, breast isn't "best", breast is biologically normal, anything else is an adequate, but ultimately inferior substitute. Breast is best is used by formula companies to reduce feeding decisions to just another parenting decision bearing no more weight than say sling vs buggy, or RF vs FF car seat, when it's actually rather more than that.

So sorry totally disagree with the constant crap spouted about the wonders and joy of breast feeding!

Um, it isn't "constant crap", it based on research and recommendations by WHO. If you don't want to breastfeed then don't breastfeed but to denigrate it as crap is, quite frankly, a bit thick of you.

YANBU the thought of it turned my stomach and me feel sick too, still does. So I didn't. Very happy healthy three year old sat next to me!

YANBU, your body, do what you feel comfortable with.

Breastfeeding IS a huge commitment, it really is, and it can be hard work, so you have to really want to do it otherwise you're in for a long difficult ride in my experience.

I wanted to breastfeed my first, it didn't work out so I expressed for 2 months which made me miserable as hell, and actually I just wish I'd done bottle to begin with as me and my son would've been much happier. I'm undecided as to whether I will try next time or just go straight to bottle. I also found bottle much nicer because it gave me a rest so his daddy could help with feeding in the night.

And for goodness sake- if you decide not to bf, don't express and bottle feed! Or at least, not after the first couple of weeks. Why have the inconvenience of both ways of feeding? You'll be tired enough without adding hugely to your workload!

If OP hates having her nipples touched then it's a bit of a dealbreaker, no?

It's pregnancy that makes your breasts saggy - hmm. Had two kids. My breasts are pristine, lol! Very firm and perky. Maybe some women can get away with breast-feeding and still have nice boobs afterwards. I wasn't prepared to risk it.