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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to breast feed?

551 replies

LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 07:41

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and have decided I'm going to bottle feed my baby. Shock

I know breast is best but the thought of breast feeding really grosses me out and makes me feel sick. It's not something I will feel comfortable doing either.

Not only that but I don't want my baby stuck on my chest all the time.

Before I get flamed, I have nothing against women who choose to breastfeed, I have no problem seeing it, Just the thought of me doing it myself grosses me out.

Are there any other mums to be that feel the same or similar? x

OP posts:
Cerseirys · 13/05/2016 09:30

I bottle fed because I didn't like how some of my friends seemed to be chained to the house because of cluster feeds.

But there's no reason to be stuck at home just because you're breastfeeding. Breastfeeding in public has been legal for quite some time now! I was out and about a lot when DS was tiny and fed him on the go. Breastfeeding doesn't mean being chained to your sofa!

herethereandeverywhere · 13/05/2016 09:30

I breastfed both of mine to 5-6 months and it was a right palaver. I look back now and wonder why I bothered. No sense of pride/achievement/satisfaction just WTF did I put myself through that when there was an alternative.

Honestly, do what you want to.

Greyhorses · 13/05/2016 09:31

I am not breast feeding, it wasn't for me.

Nobody has ever mentioned or criticised, midwives were lovely and simple asked breast or bottle...that was the end of it.

Also, my boobs are ruined and I didnt BF. Pregnancy covered them in stretch marks before baby was even born!

Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 09:32

Thestarryeyedsurprise
there's a lot more 'gross' things you will experience which you have no control over... Poo up your leg, vomit in your hair, pee all over your. Just a thought.

You should read the whole thread.

OP posts:
WeAllHaveWings · 13/05/2016 09:33

The thought of bf unsettled me too, but the benefits were so great I told myself I was going to be a mum and just to get on with it.

It was tough for me the first couple of weeks, and hard going for a while, but once I got used to it, it did eventually feel natural and I'm so glad I did as its an experience like no other.

I find "gross" quite a basic, and (sorry cant think of a better word) cowardly expression as a reason to not bf and as a mum to be think you should be brave enough to explore this further.

If you try for a few days and it doesn't work out, fair enough.

But as others have said, your body and your baby and you need to make your choice.

Mermaid36 · 13/05/2016 09:35

The sick feeling you get on let down is called D-MER (dysphoria milk ejection reflex)...I'm currently expressing and get it all the time. There are things you can do to lessen the effects (it's not psychological btw)

The website www.d-mer.org/ is a good resource

Sleepybeanbump · 13/05/2016 09:36

It's not bullshit. People who do a mix or exclusively have told me this- their babies don't comfort suck or feed to sleep like the Bf babies can. They don't snuggle up facing the mum and zone out, they sit up eyes open looking round. They don't paw and stroke the mum with their hands so much during feeding. It's not a bonding experience in the same way. I think this because of what I have been told first hand by people or who are bottle feeding and a few experiences of trying bottles with my own boy. I haven't just made it up to be judgy Hmm

I don't mean that they are less intimate overall, just they don't derive the same intimacy from feeding. And I think it's sad to miss out on this without even trying. That's all. Not judging anyone who can't, as I said. I'm in the minority of people I know in exclusively BFing so I understand and sympathise with a lot of different experiences.

IlikePercyPig · 13/05/2016 09:39

My wife has already decided that she won't be breastfeeding, who gives a fuck what others think?

UmbongoUnchained · 13/05/2016 09:40

My daughter did all of those things sleepy and she was bottle fed.

glueandstick · 13/05/2016 09:40

I better put my snuggled up bottle fed baby down.

She stares into your eyes and grasps your finger whilst snuggled in your arms and drops off whilst feeding. Your post is bullshit. I breastfed to start with and really found no difference at all- it's a different sort of intimacy.

Whoever said people aren't judgemental about bottle feeding was wrong- it's alive and well.

MySordidCakeSecret · 13/05/2016 09:40

You sound rather immature op.. also the baby does not suck the nipple, they latch on to the breast around the nipple, so it's probably quite different to what you're imagining.

But either way, whatever you want to do, i've found that no-one cares and i've done both

WorraLiberty · 13/05/2016 09:41
Grin
To not want to breast feed?
Lasvegas · 13/05/2016 09:42

Before I gave birth I couldn't imagine BF. Then realised how much goodness was in BM so I didn't want my baby to miss out on health benefits. It was not gross. Maybe because the concept is odd but when it is your baby its different.

I would recommend expressing and some bottles, as I had to go back to work age 6 months and it was so v hard to get baby to take a bottle. In fact she didn't ever have a bottle and ended up moving from breast to sippy cup,

murphyslaws · 13/05/2016 09:42

I tried but found it difficult and stressful. Best thing I did was swap to formula.

Second time around I would not even think of breast feeding.

angielou123 · 13/05/2016 09:44

I've had 4 babies and bottle fed them all. With my first I was 16 and while in hospital, a stroppy nurse kept trying to latch the baby on (with me protesting) saying it was best. I didn't like the feeling and my baby didnt seem to want to either. After 2 days of this, the nurse clocked off and another more sympathetic one came on. She told me I didn't have to breastfeed if I didn't want to, so that was the end of that! 4 healthy, happy, bottle fed babies! This was 23 years ago now so bottle feeding seems to be more acceptable now. But, i'm with you, I just didn't like it. It didn't feel right if that makes sense.

MessyBun247 · 13/05/2016 09:45

All I will say is keep an open mind Smile. Follow your instincts and do what feels right for you.

NoCakeLeft · 13/05/2016 09:47

I don't think YABU.
But I do think you should give it a try. Babies suck nipple differently. And nipples are less sensitive after giving birth (mine were). If you still don't like it, you can always stop.

FutureGadgetsLab · 13/05/2016 09:50

Surely it's more faff to fanny about sterilising bottles in the middle of the night?

I make them in advance, so no it's not a faff.

QforCucumber · 13/05/2016 09:52

Each to their own, only thing I'll say is went for a meal the other day - took a bottle of ebm as still a little uncomfortable with feeding 8 week old in public. The used both hands - 1 to hold him thevery other holding the bottle, meal went cold. Bf I use 1 hand to hold him and have the other one free, determined to feel more comfortable with it in public and have so far done it 4 times. He has had formula a few times and it makes his poo stink haha! No smell when on BM only.

wannabehippyandcrazycatlover · 13/05/2016 09:55

Breast IS best, this is not opinion or anecdotal but scientific fact. It's what your breasts are made for.

However, at the end of the day it is entirely up to you how you feed your baby.

IMO breast feeding is easier once you get the hang of it, yes it's time consuming but it's a wonderful experience and cost effective too. Perhaps you should not have any fixed ideas and just see how things go...I think it's society that has created the thoughts that it is gross, but it is a wonderful bonding experience and what is biologically and scientifically proven to be better, so leave your options open.

LagunaBubbles · 13/05/2016 09:58

But for someone to not even attempt it because they think it's gross I find very sad tbh

Fair enough but how people feed their babies is entirely up to them , I dont get the amount of angst this seems to create and the over investment at times in how others feed their babies. I dont have an opinion if someone else chooses to feed different from what I did - I find it sad that others care enough to have feelings about it.

NewStartNewName · 13/05/2016 09:58

I didn't BF any of mine for more or less the same reasons as you OP, I have 3 perfectly healthy DSs.

We have a choice as to how we feed our DCs and don't let anyone make you doubt yourself and your choices.

murphyslaws · 13/05/2016 09:58

Wanna Breast IS best, this is not opinion or anecdotal but scientific fact

Only if it works. Baby can't latch, you don't produce enough, you are working and have to express, lactose intolerant, mum has infection and on medication.

BathshebaDarkstone · 13/05/2016 09:59

YANBU. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. You should read some of the threads on here from mums who dare to bf in public.

Do some research and buy the best quality formula you can. Smile

mrsmugoo · 13/05/2016 10:02

YANBU to do what the hell you like when it comes to feeding your own baby.

But I agree with the pp about the "because it's gross" (paraphrase) comment.

Think that shows a real lack of maturity tbh which is a shame for your baby. Do you not think childbirth is gross?! Or that doing something gross for the benefit of your baby would be worth your own personal sacrifice?

No one is going to care if you formula feed. Your child will grow up perfectly healthy. It's barely of any consequence, just seems a shame you dismiss it off the bat.