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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to breast feed?

551 replies

LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 07:41

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and have decided I'm going to bottle feed my baby. Shock

I know breast is best but the thought of breast feeding really grosses me out and makes me feel sick. It's not something I will feel comfortable doing either.

Not only that but I don't want my baby stuck on my chest all the time.

Before I get flamed, I have nothing against women who choose to breastfeed, I have no problem seeing it, Just the thought of me doing it myself grosses me out.

Are there any other mums to be that feel the same or similar? x

OP posts:
PacificDogwod · 13/05/2016 08:00

Your baby, your body, your choice.

YABU posting this in AIBU though Wink - ask MNHQ to resite it in infant feeding if you are looking for other women who made the same choice?

SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 13/05/2016 08:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

donotreadtheDailyHeil · 13/05/2016 08:00

YANBU. I'd stay away from MN threads though in your shoes!

I mixed fed and gave up bf altogether when ds was 4 months old. I don't think you can tell in a school playground who was bf, who was ff and all the permutations of mixed-feeding. New mums make it the be all and end all and it really isn't. After all, a FF baby who doesn't eat chips and chocolate every day is more likely to be healthy than the BF baby who does. And I'm judgey about people who let 2 year olds play on a tablet. So we all have different priorities and views on what's "best" for our children.

Has anyone ever wondered whether all this "breast is best" thing is just yet another stick to beat mums with? And to ensure that mums are tied to the sofa while the dads carry on with their lives? Ok they can change nappies. But it's very helpful if they can do a night-time feed too!

The only thing I would say is try it. You might feel differently once baby is here. I felt like you and had no intention of bf. But I think maybe hormones help you get over the "yuk factor"? But if not, ignore all the flamers and do what's right for YOU.

Samcro · 13/05/2016 08:02

yanbu its not for everyone, at the end of the day your child won't care as long as they are fed.

gamerchick · 13/05/2016 08:02

Don't see why you felt to post here though about unless you are looking for people to pile in

Indeed ^^ although not quite going to plan in that case Grin

londonrach · 13/05/2016 08:02

Yanbu...your body your choice. Tbh im still on the fence about if i will (currently pregnant). That story with that woman who breast fed in a wave machine and demands 20k when offered a chair makes me hesitate as i dont want to be associated with that sort of behaviour. Im waiting really to see what the baby does. If she and i take to it we do it. Min is the first milk i think.

SandunesAndRainclouds · 13/05/2016 08:03

You can give your baby your breast milk by expressing and giving a bottle that way.

Originalfoogirl · 13/05/2016 08:03

Oh dear. If something like that grosses you out - you're in for a whole world of gross. Babies do a lot of really gross things. 😄

Feed your baby however you want to feed your baby, it's entirely up to you and your reasons are your own too. Don't let anyone tell you any differently. My only advice would be, be wary of making any fixed decision about what you will / won't do once you have a baby. I tried to make loads of them and I'm not sure I stuck to any of them!

NicknameUsed · 13/05/2016 08:03

You are not unreasonable to formula feed.

But

"the thought of breast feeding really grosses me out and makes me feel sick."

This ^^ is ridiculous and very unreasonable, and you will, rightly so IMO, get flamed for this stupid statement.

Why do you feel like this?

I used to find the idea of breastfeeding slightly yucky - until I got pregnant, and then I wouldn't even consider the idea of not doing what was best for my baby.

Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 08:05

Thanks for the warning Wink If people want to judge me that's fine, I know better than to let a few words on a screen bother me!

Like I said, I've not a problem with others BFing just myself! Seeing other people doesn't gross me out (my cousin BFs her baby in front of me all the time) at all. Strange isn't it.

OP posts:
GruffaloPants · 13/05/2016 08:05

Do what you like.

But if BF grosses you out, please come back and tell us what you made of labour. I'm also a bit confused about how you got pregnant.

Originalfoogirl · 13/05/2016 08:05

Don't see why you felt to post here though about unless you are looking for people to pile in

Jeez, is there some unwritten, or written rule about what people can and can't post? Perhaps you could list the acceptable reasons someone might choose to post a certain topic 🙄

PacificDogwod · 13/05/2016 08:06

I bit my tongue earlier but have to agree with Nickname: feed your baby whichever way you wish, but I'd explore just why you feel so strongly about BFing your own child.

I suppose, really, my advice would be to not decide anything just now and wait how you feel when your baby has actually arrived.

NicknameUsed · 13/05/2016 08:06

"Has anyone ever wondered whether all this "breast is best" thing is just yet another stick to beat mums with?"

It isn't. It is a fact. We all make choices though and in many cases formula feeding is best, but although formula is nutritious and babies thrive on it, it cannot exactly replicate breast milk.

TweeterandtheMonkeyman · 13/05/2016 08:07

YANBU . I absolutely loved breast feeding but I can see it's not for everybody. I actually admire people who just admit it's not for them rather than all the hand wringing about not being able to etc.
For what it's worth, when my two year old wasn't latched on she was on the iPad & eating biscuits so let's face it none of us do everything "right"

BillBrysonsBeard · 13/05/2016 08:07

Do what you want OP and don't feel bad about it. I did it for a few weeks and just couldn't stand it anymore.. my nipples hurt, baby didn't sleep, he was never getting enough... Formula made him content, sleep properly and saved my sanity= happier mum.. so it was best all round. Don't feel guilty! You probably shouldn't have posted though, you'll get people trying to change your mind..

crazywriter · 13/05/2016 08:08

YANBU at all. It's your choice. Anyone who flames you for this dexcision has their judgy pants on. Youat feel differently when baby is here but do what makes you feel comfortable.

I hated being pushed into it with my first. I was made to feel like a failure when I stopped 2 weeks later. Luckily my DH was v supportive. The second I made a decision to bottle feed from the start and have no regrets. There have been no differences between my 2 girls so far with their health. I feel the pressure and struggle of it did affect my bond with my first. It was getting to the point I resented her and that shouldn't be the way. I've had a great bond with no 2 because I made my choice firm.

Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 08:08

I don't think it's the idea of BFing that bothers me but how it'll feel. I hate anyone touching my nipples as it is now, goes right through me! Let alone a baby (or anyone) sucking them!

OP posts:
YoJesse · 13/05/2016 08:08

YANBU, at all.... but you might feel different after. I loved it. And yes babies do loads of gross things all the time. Breastfeeding isn't one of them.

anotherdayanothersquabble · 13/05/2016 08:09

YABU but heh, your body, your choice! Good luck with motherhood if the thought of breastfeeding grosses you out!

Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 08:11

Can I just say, just because one thing grosses me out, doesn't mean everything will! I can deal with sick, poo, blood no problem! (I've worked with babies/children for 7 years).

What grosses one person out doesn't gross out everyone!

OP posts:
PacificDogwod · 13/05/2016 08:14

Babies don't 'suck', really they don't.

The sensation is totally different from, say, any kind of sexual activity involving the breasts.

Consider whether you would be prepared to give it ONE go - there are benefits to giving ONE breastfeed of colostrum.

NB: I breastfed DS3 to a year by always 'just giving one more feed' Grin
I did not love BFing and have also FF and mixfed - I have no axe to grind here.

UmbongoUnchained · 13/05/2016 08:15

nickname there are lots of reasons why someone might find breast feeding sickening. Some of those reasons are very personal so it's quite harsh to call them ridiculous.

MrsDeVere · 13/05/2016 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VagueIdeas · 13/05/2016 08:19

You'll get people saying "what a shame", "can't you at least give baby your colostrum" and some pointed comments about how the baby's needs should come about your own, but meh, it's fine. Plenty of people use formula from birth. Myself included with my second baby, once I'd resolved never to put myself through the (futile!) hell of trying to breastfeed again.