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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to breast feed?

551 replies

LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 07:41

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and have decided I'm going to bottle feed my baby. Shock

I know breast is best but the thought of breast feeding really grosses me out and makes me feel sick. It's not something I will feel comfortable doing either.

Not only that but I don't want my baby stuck on my chest all the time.

Before I get flamed, I have nothing against women who choose to breastfeed, I have no problem seeing it, Just the thought of me doing it myself grosses me out.

Are there any other mums to be that feel the same or similar? x

OP posts:
Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 08:19

MrsDeVere No I'm not pushing, It's the word that best describes how I feel? Why should I use anything else?

OP posts:
EnjoyTheSimpleThingsInLife · 13/05/2016 08:20

YANBU. I formula fed my first baby, breastfed my second for 14 months, it doesn't matter which one you choose. My sister feels exactly the same as you, thinks it's gross and can't understand why anyone would breastfeed. I couldn't care less how people feed their baby, as long as it's fed that's all that matters!

wobblywonderwoman · 13/05/2016 08:21

I don't see why you are posting to be honest. you've made you point - bf for six weeks and second time around only for two.

I didn't feel the need to make it an issue with other people

FutureGadgetsLab · 13/05/2016 08:21

I wanted to try breastfeeding but was apprehensive about it for similar reasons. I tried it but he wouldn't latch and I found it painful and it made me feel sick.

YANBU.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 13/05/2016 08:22

My cousin felt the exact same. She also hated her nipples being touched.Her husband really wanted her to breastfeed. She agreed to maybe trying the first feed to see how she felt. As soon as her dd was born she put her on and loved it and ended up feeding her for seven months. She also breastfed her second too.

1frenchfoodie · 13/05/2016 08:22

Your call. May be worth speaking to midwife about expressing for at least first few feeds so baby gets vital nutrients. I'm currently breastfeeding and find it really convenient, especially when out and about but what works for me is not necessarily best for you. And it was painful for the first few days so took perseverence.

maybebabybee · 13/05/2016 08:23

Yanbu as its your choice but it is a shame you feel that way, imo.

Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 08:23

It's nice to hear of so many women who felt different once baby was born!

OP posts:
FutureGadgetsLab · 13/05/2016 08:25

Lou I'm the same, I don't like anyone touching my nipples either. I don't really like being touched in general. Confused

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 13/05/2016 08:28

Yanbu. The thought of you being sick and grossed out is way more important than giving your newborn the best nutritional start in life, I mean antibodies and all the other compounds found ONLY on breastmilk can't be that important can they. The World Health Organisation and all the studies must be wrong eh. Hmm

Put your child first ffs.

Originalfoogirl · 13/05/2016 08:28

I don't think it's the idea of BFing that bothers me but how it'll feel. I hate anyone touching my nipples as it is now, goes right through me! Let alone a baby (or anyone) sucking

A lot of people feel this way. I can kind of understand because I am the same way with my knees. I cannot stand anyone touching my knees, it just feels horrible. I wouldnt say it "grosses me out", that means something totally different to me. But it does do something unpleasant to me for sure.

By the way, I'm sure you've realised by now, you really need to get yourself one of those acceptable reasons not to breastfeed. I mean, it is totally your choice on how to feed your child, but it's totally unreasonable for you to have made that decision without using one of the "well we can't possibly judge you for that" reasons. 😉

UmbongoUnchained · 13/05/2016 08:29

That didn't take long!

itslikerain 🖕🏻

MrsDeVere · 13/05/2016 08:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

memyselfandaye · 13/05/2016 08:29

Your body your baby, do whatever you want.

I never bf either, I didn't want to, and don't give a shit what anyone thinks, I've got a happy healthy 5yr old.

You don't have to explain your choices to anyone.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 13/05/2016 08:30

Saying bf 'grosses you out' (for no particular reason) does sound rather... adolescent, tbh.

I do think you would BU to dismiss bf and all its advantages (to you as well as the baby) without exploring/challenging this feeling.

Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 08:34

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay Yes Rain exactly! That exactly what I've said! That breast is not best and all the research is wrong! Hmm

OP posts:
Pinkginandolives · 13/05/2016 08:35

I breastfed, you don't have to. Neither of us is right or wrong.

Although in hindsight, I wouldn't have for so long. The demands it made on me wrt no sleep were probably not worth it. If I was in that situation now, I would probably do mix and match.

If you don't want to at all, that's what's best for your family. Enjoy your baby OP Flowers

MarianneSolong · 13/05/2016 08:35

What would concern me more than decisions about how to feed is the idea that you don't want your baby 'stuck on your chest'.

I think motherhood is overwhelming and it's understandable that there are times when you want your own space, to have your body back. I could never have done the 'attachment parenting'/co-sleeping thing for those reasons.

However, babies need to be held and rocked and cuddled a great deal. There is a sense in which you are 'stuck' with them. If you really want to keep a physical distance, your baby is less likely to feel secure and happy. Which could make for some difficult times ahead.

Writerwannabe83 · 13/05/2016 08:37

It grosses you out and makes you feel sick.

Charming.

Feed your baby how you like, nobody cares, but perhaps your childish comments like the ones above you should keep to yourself.

FutureGadgetsLab · 13/05/2016 08:38

Rain ODFO

FutureGadgetsLab · 13/05/2016 08:38

I don't think it's childish to say it makes you feel sick! Letdown made me feel sick. How is that offensive to women who bf? We are all different.

betsyderek · 13/05/2016 08:39

Today 08:28 ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay

Yanbu. The thought of you being sick and grossed out is way more important than giving your newborn the best nutritional start in life, I mean antibodies and all the other compounds found ONLY on breastmilk can't be that important can they. The World Health Organisation and all the studies must be wrong eh. hmm

Put your child first ffs.

Bitchiest post ever, even by this forums standards. Biscuit

PisforPeter · 13/05/2016 08:41

YANBU OP, though I know it won't be popular on here. I didn't breast feed either. I find that after 9 months of pregnancy I want my body back to myself. It also means my husband can be fully involved with feeds & getting up at night. Each to their own I say.

Writerwannabe83 · 13/05/2016 08:42

letdown made me feel sick. How is that offensive to women who bf? We are all different.

You had a physical reaction to the act of breast feeding, something that happens to a lot of women, isn't there actually a medical term for it?

The OP is saying that the thought of breast feeding makes her feel sick, implying she thinks it's something revolting.

They are very different things.

alltouchedout · 13/05/2016 08:42

Whatever.
What are you hoping for from this post though? You already know that breast is best, that some women choose not to breastfeed, that no one can make you breastfeed and that the vast majority of people do not want to deny you rights over your own body and support your right too make this and any other choice even if we feel it's a poor one. So what will this post bring you?