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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to breast feed?

551 replies

LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 07:41

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and have decided I'm going to bottle feed my baby. Shock

I know breast is best but the thought of breast feeding really grosses me out and makes me feel sick. It's not something I will feel comfortable doing either.

Not only that but I don't want my baby stuck on my chest all the time.

Before I get flamed, I have nothing against women who choose to breastfeed, I have no problem seeing it, Just the thought of me doing it myself grosses me out.

Are there any other mums to be that feel the same or similar? x

OP posts:
t1mum · 14/05/2016 22:17

Thanks Knits.

Mini - that wasn't what I was trying to say with the post. I don't think I expressed it well but I can't think of a better way to put it. The thrust of what I was trying to say was about levels of risk around not BF.

Gingermuffin · 14/05/2016 22:33

I haven't read the full thread because these threads generally get all argumentative but I have breastfed both of my children. The first to just over two and the second to almost a year old at present but still going and what I want to say is do what ever you want. The benefits are easy to find. It's not easy in the early stages but certainly easier than formula if you do get the hang of it in the long run. If you really don't want to or don't manage it for whatever reason it is better for your baby for you to not be stressed and just enjoy your baby. Don't judge those that do, don't judge those that don't. Pretty simple really.

PunkrockerGirl · 14/05/2016 22:34

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Philoslothy · 15/05/2016 02:47

I am a mother of six who has breastfed, bottle fed and mixed fed. I have experienced raising a child with special needs, raising a stepson and PND. I am not naive, I don't understand why somebody with experience of mental health problems would use a child's suicide attempt to score points.

minifingerz · 15/05/2016 16:11

"I don't understand why somebody with experience of mental health problems would use a child's suicide attempt to score points."

I'm not scoring points.

I've been accused of not caring about people's mental health because I've defended breastfeeding as worthwhile.

I care. I've said nothing on this thread to indicate otherwise.

I think there are people on this thread who are DESPERATE to prove me to be a hateful, unkind, person in order to discredit everything I might have to say on the topic of breastfeeding. You have just joined in with your own spiteful comment. Thanks. :-( There's very little on mumsnet that's ever been said to me that makes me feel like crying, but you've just managed it.

minifingerz · 15/05/2016 16:13

Oh and you know the talk guidance about not saying things which are cruel and personal? You've just breached that.

Blimmincheek · 15/05/2016 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cerseirys · 15/05/2016 16:48

Hang in there mini, I don't agree with the posters who've attacked you. I've seen your comments on many feeding threads and I think you raise a lot of pertinent points.

FutureGadgetsLab · 15/05/2016 17:08

Mini I haven't always agreed with your comments, and I do think some have been hurtful, however it is out of order for others to comment on the mental health of your children and to use it against you.

I hope she feels better soon. Flowers

PunkrockerGirl · 15/05/2016 20:24

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53rdAndBird · 15/05/2016 20:36

I'm not a completely new or naive poster, and I very much doubt Mini is "rubbing her hands with glee" over a subject like her daughter's mental health. Come on, now. You disagree with her - that doesn't make her the Antichrist.

She freely admits that she doesn't come on these threads to offer support

Not every discussion about a subject has to be "offering support". Saying "I'm interested in discussing this as a public health issue" or whatever is not the same as "I'm here to attack people".

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 15/05/2016 20:49

In 15 year's time how you feed your baby won't even cross your mind! You'll be too busy worrying about drug taking, drinking, under age pregnancy, GCSE 's and whether their friends are niceGrin

FutureGadgetsLab · 15/05/2016 21:06

Punk I know what she's said and I find it highly offensive. However, what was said to her was out of line. Her saying something offensive doesn't negate that.

Blimmincheek · 15/05/2016 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FutureGadgetsLab · 15/05/2016 21:15

Blimmin I agree. I've been made to feel shit about my "failure" to breastfeed so I really understand where you're coming from, I can imagine her posts could really hurt someone (I winced, and I'm not easily offended).

However comments about her daughter, her daughter who has done nothing and has had no part to play in this, are just as bad in my opinion.

In other words, both posters have behaved like twats and should pack it in. I'd have more sympathy if they'd insulted mini without bringing her family into it.

Philoslothy · 15/05/2016 21:52

minifingerz you have completely misunderstood me. I have not criticised you or said anything spiteful. I was not accusing you of using a child to score points, I reported another post for doing that about you.

Philoslothy · 15/05/2016 22:03

Punkrocker I am not a naive or new poster and I have read many of Minifingerz posters.

I suspect that for many of us our primary purpose in posting is not to support others, that does not mean we are seeking to cause others distress.

I have not seen Minifingerz say that PND is not a "good enough" reason to stop breastfeeding, rather I have seen her say that giving up breastfeeding may not be the best answer. I struggled with PND with a few of mine. With one I stopped breastfeeding because I just found it overwhelming. There were also other factors such as special needs and having to return to work far earlier than I wanted to. With my next I was determined to breastfeed. I experienced PND again but I kept going with the breastfeeding because I wanted in my mind "to get it right this time". ( before I get flamed I am not saying that formula feeding is getting it wrong). I do think that the confidence and bonding I got from breastfeeding carried me through my PND and enabled me to cope. A friend gave me advice just like Minifingerz and I have been eternally grateful

BertrandRussell · 15/05/2016 23:13

"When you have a spare few several hours, go on AS and have a read back through some of mini's posts. She is probably rubbing her hands with glee that a completely new or naive poster is defending one of mn's most renown goady fuckers.
Believe me, I've been on the receiving end of her vitriol about mental health, and bf.
She freely admits that she doesn't come on these threads to offer support.
She quotes reams of often discredited statistics.
She makes new mums feel bad about their infant feeding choices.
She argues that severe pnd is not a good reason to give up bf.

I suggest you check out her posting history. It doesn't make for pretty reading."

This post really is utter bollocks. Complete and utter bollocks. It completely misrepresents the poster concerned. She has, as far as I can see, done none of these things. Oh, except "admitting" that she does not come on these threads to offer support. Which is absolutely fine. A thread asking for support- people get support. A thread about the pros and cons of infant feeding? No- that thread needs facts.

MistressMerryWeather · 16/05/2016 00:44

A thread about the pros and cons of infant feeding?

The OP of this thread wanted to talk to people who felt the same way she did about breastfeeding, not the pros and cons.

RonaldMcDonald · 16/05/2016 01:02

OP
I breastfed 2 of mine for 6 mths and 1 for more than a year.

TBH I didn't enjoy it for two of them but did it as I knew 'I should'. Randomly the one that I did enjoy I had intended to solely ff but grimly started ( with my eyes firmly trained on the Aptimil ) and it was completely different.

Do what you want but....if I'm honest I'd say at least give it a go
Good luck

BumWad · 16/05/2016 01:38

Of course, to deny established facts is idiocy, fuelled only by a defensive stance taken by people who have already made a choice (willing or not) to breastfeed.

Yes. This only seems to happen on MN by the same old posters. Mind you idiocy is being rather polite...

waitingforsomething · 16/05/2016 02:03

Op ive not read the full thread as I am sure It's got unpleasant - these always do. Fwiw I felt a bit like you. I tried anyway and did fine with it both times. Bf one for longer than the other but I really thought I wouldn't do it.
In my opinion you should put your baby to the Breast when it is born and see how you go- it might be a totally different experience to the one you imagine. If you end up bottle feeding then it's a completely healthy way to grow your baby and many grow up on formula milk and of corse have no Bad effects. Don't fret about it too far in advance- many aspects of parenting don't turn out how you might imagine!

fs229943 · 01/11/2022 19:27

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Sparklingbrook · 01/11/2022 19:33

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You may want to check the date this thread started. I am assuming the OP has other concerns now with their school age child.

juice92 · 01/11/2022 22:12

YANBU I have decided I don't want to breast feed either. My reasons is simple.

I want my Husband to be able to feed the baby, not only is it a good bonding experience for them, it will also mean that I won't be entirely responsible for all feeds. He'll be able to do some of night feeds and also look after the baby independently.

I have known too many women who have breastfed and struggled to get their baby to take a bottle, meaning that their Husband enjoyed gorgeous full night sleeps where they (in some cases) got a a couple of 2 hour blocks at best and were exhausted, or couldn't do anything on their own without the baby with them. We all need a break sometimes.