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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to breast feed?

551 replies

LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 07:41

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and have decided I'm going to bottle feed my baby. Shock

I know breast is best but the thought of breast feeding really grosses me out and makes me feel sick. It's not something I will feel comfortable doing either.

Not only that but I don't want my baby stuck on my chest all the time.

Before I get flamed, I have nothing against women who choose to breastfeed, I have no problem seeing it, Just the thought of me doing it myself grosses me out.

Are there any other mums to be that feel the same or similar? x

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 14/05/2016 13:02

...yep and there's the point I hide it. Oops.

Dee213 · 14/05/2016 13:03

No, I didn't think there were any nasties in FF, but it's definitely implied in earlier posts...

So glad no nasties in vaccines...the ingredients lists really should be more honest....

Munchkin08 · 14/05/2016 13:10

If you don't want to don't.

I have 3 children and didn't want to breast feed the first time, then felt I wanted to so breast feed the other two. All children are healthy, so didn't really make any difference.

SpeakNoWords · 14/05/2016 13:11

What nasties are you worried about in vaccines Dee as you are clearly implying that there are ingredients in vaccines that are not being declared?

Dee213 · 14/05/2016 13:12

Sorry...no, not another thread, as I said - Devil's Advocate! If someone states BF has benefits not got with FF, how does anyone know the list of ailments quoted earlier are not as a result of other factors...including vaccinations amongst a list of other things, including genetics, environmental factors etc. etc. etc??

I support the right of women to choose the way they feed their babies and the right of parents to make informed choices for their children - just wish those who can/have/do BF didn't try to tell those of us who couldn't we have not put the health of our children first.

VestalVirgin · 14/05/2016 13:25

Why do we even care whether breastfeeding has some tiny benefits over formula feeding?

A woman is her own person, and can decide what to do with her own body. And if that is not optimal for the child, well then that is still her decision to make.

There's plenty of men who work full time even though it would be more beneficial for the child to see more of them - no one questions that.

But women are expected to always put the baby first. I read of a woman whose baby chewed her nipple off during breastfeeding, and she was still told to continue breastfeeding!

Altruism is all nice and good, but I refuse to consider it the required standard for women. (Besides, I don't think a baby whose mother is permanently unhappy will have a nice childhood. Breastfeeding cannot make up for that.)

maybebabybee · 14/05/2016 13:28

I read of a woman whose baby chewed her nipple off during breastfeeding

Link?

SoupDragon · 14/05/2016 13:51

Why do we even care whether breastfeeding has some tiny benefits over formula feeding?

Technically it doesn't have benefits, Formula has "risks".

Dee213 · 14/05/2016 13:55

SpeakNoWords Sorry, not implying 'hidden' ingredients - should probably have said I need to look at my interpretation of what is/isn't viewed as 'nasties'. Who'd have thought formaldehyde, aluminium... no matter what amount, would be ok?! You live and learn....apparently!

As for KnitsBakesAndReads Fri 13-May-16 22:55:20 -
Quote -.... UNICEF site ...links to... studies, .. carried out in industrialised countries, ... found that formula feeding is correlated with higher risk of ...:

  • gastro-intestinal infection
  • respiratory infection
  • necrotising enterocolitis and late onset sepsis in preterm babies
  • urinary tract infections
  • ear infections
  • allergic disease (eczema, asthma and wheezing)
  • Type 1 and type 2 diabetes
  • Obesity
  • Childhood leukaemia
  • SIDS

Any other factors mentioned or just FF? Environmental, socio-economic, healthcare protocols followed - vaccinations........That's a scary study to quote without the full picture, don't you think?!

NeedACleverNN · 14/05/2016 13:58

I am happy to admit that breast milk IS better than formula.

However I also think formula is a lot better than it used to be and whilst it will never be up to the same standard as breast milk it's still a pretty good alternative.

I say that as a mother who ff

SpeakNoWords · 14/05/2016 14:11

Dee the list quoted by Knits is a summary of the many studies into the risks of using formula over breastfeeding. It isn't a list pulled out of thin air to scare people, it's a summary of the results of various different studies. All of which will have attempted to take into account the confounding factors that you describe. Or do you think it is a list produced by UNICEF to scare monger?

BigPantyGirl · 14/05/2016 14:14

No, YANBU. Do what makes you happy and comfortable. There's so much stress and pressure when you have a baby, don't let how you feed your baby be one of them. As long as it's fed and looked after, that's all that matters.
And for what it's worth people don't breastfeed for all sorts of reasons, eg. not physically able, taking medication, shyness etc. Doesn't matter what their reason is, it's the mums personal choice! I didn't BF as my breasts are huge and I didn't want them to get bigger, or to have people staring if BF in public. Yes, probably a very shallow reason, but my choice and it was non negotiable.
My DD is now 7, perfectly healthy with no allergies or eczema and not in the slightest bit overweight. Some of her BF friends do have these problems and their mothers now say these were the specific reasons they did breastfeed them! So it's no guarantee of anything really.
Basically, do what you want to do. Good luck with your baby Smile

Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 14/05/2016 14:15

Woah, Can't read all the comments! There's a fair few!

Thanks for your opinions! I feel less like a freak knowing there are others who felt similar to me :)

I will do what's best for me and my baby when she gets here be that BF or FF

Thanks again x

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 14/05/2016 14:22

In summary do what feels right for you and the baby. Good luck!

QforCucumber · 14/05/2016 15:26

Interesting aftermoon - went for lunch with friends and children, Rory needed feeding so popped him on the boob. Friends 8 year old ds and 5 year old dd from then on were saying things like 'that's gross' 'ewwww' 'mam why has Q got her boobs out?' and 'how minging is that i wouldn't dare!!'

The difference between these 2 and my 9 year old nephew who actually knows about bf and will happily say, 'when it's time to feed R would you like me to get you a drink?' Is astounding!!

QforCucumber · 14/05/2016 15:27

No wonder people have a complex about it - kids should be taught the differences instead of ridiculing the adults around them who are feeding.

SpeakNoWords · 14/05/2016 15:30

Those children need to learn some manners!

Janecc · 14/05/2016 15:33

I cannot stand to have my nipples being touched at all. After giving birth, I wasn't ready to hold my baby for a little while because the birth was very traumatic. The midwife asked me if I wanted to hold DD and then if I wanted to feed her and I just did. I breast fed my DD til 2.5 years and I never could have imagined this pre birth. It was the most amazing bonding experience for us and one, I remember with such nostalgia.

Biscuitsneeded · 14/05/2016 15:42

You should do what is right for you. Nobody should be made to feel bad about the parenting choices they make. Just please don't ever be tempted to explain your reasons to a BF mother by saying that BF 'grosses you out'. When I was BF my DC (and I would never, ever have dreamt of criticising any other mothers for choosing to FF), I had at least two mothers make comments like yours along the lines of finding it gross 'having a baby hanging off your tits'. I found that as rude as if I had said I thought they were being selfish or irresponsible. Please just say that BF isn't for you. By giving reasons that carry a value judgment of BF you lay yourself open to others judging you.

Baboooshka · 14/05/2016 15:42

I read of a woman whose baby chewed her nipple off during breastfeeding, and she was still told to continue breastfeeding!

Still waiting for a link. Funnily enough, Google brings up nothing -- still, don't let that get in the way of disseminating horrible scare-stories.

Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 14/05/2016 15:52

If someone asks why I haven't I chosen to BF (if that's what I decide) then I'll just say: "Because the thought of a baby sucking on me grosses me out"... I'm not insulting BFing or them, it's personal feeling to me. They want to take offence, fine. People shouldn't take offence when the intention to offend isn't there.

OP posts:
Baboooshka · 14/05/2016 16:26

If someone asks why I haven't I chosen to BF (if that's what I decide) then I'll just say: "Because the thought of a baby sucking on me grosses me out"... I'm not insulting BFing or them, it's personal feeling to me. They want to take offence, fine. People shouldn't take offence when the intention to offend isn't there.

If you say something 'grosses you out', you will offend people who do it. You know this. It's been repeated about a hundred times on this thread.

So if you choose to offend people, go ahead, but don't demand that people 'shouldn't take offence when the intention to offend isn't there'. There is an intention to offend, or at best a lack of concern about any offense caused, if you've been told over and over that it sounds offensive, but keep saying it.

FutureGadgetsLab · 14/05/2016 16:37

you say something 'grosses you out', you will offend people who do it. You know this. It's been repeated about a hundred times on this thread.

That's really oversensitive. I find eating red meat gross but I don't think other people doing it are gross. I just don't do it myself.

It isn't a personal attack.

Helmetbymidnight · 14/05/2016 17:04

Say it all you want. I wouldn't dream of taking offence- I certainly wouldn't find it a personal attack - I would just think of you as someone with very limited intelligence.

NarpIsNotACunt · 14/05/2016 17:24

Thanks for popping back, OP

It has totally reassured me that you really wanted people's opinions on your current situation
x