To not want to breast feed?

[LouBlue1507]

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and have decided I'm going to bottle feed my baby.

I know breast is best but the thought of breast feeding really grosses me out and makes me feel sick. It's not something I will feel comfortable doing either.

Not only that but I don't want my baby stuck on my chest all the time.

Before I get flamed, I have nothing against women who choose to breastfeed, I have no problem seeing it, Just the thought of me doing it myself grosses me out.

Are there any other mums to be that feel the same or similar? x

'I've held off from this thread as I thought it was goady...... '

And then you proceed to goad with gems such as 'Hate these goady threads of mums who just want to be stroked because they feel guilty because they can't be arsed!!!!'

Bit of a muppet aren't you?

How old are you OP, just out of curiosity? Because your insistence on being able to tell people "ew gross breastfeeding" is coming across as a bit immature.

Samantha I'm almost 40 and the thought of breastfeeding turns my stomach. Am I young and immature??

I've not once gone 'ew gross breastfeeding' Like I said, my cousin bf's in front of me all the time, doesn't phase me. My choice of adjective doesn't reflect my maturity, I'm 24..

badger would you tell breastfeeding mothers you found it gross or disgusting though?

And are you going to look into doing anything about why it 'grosses you out'? Because you said you couldn't help it, but you could ask to get help. If you wanted. Which I don't think you do. In fact, I'm really not sure why you posted at all, you clearly can't be bothered to read the thread.

Right now, you are certainly coming across as being quite immature.

Samantha I've not said that BFing is gross or disgusting!

Ok sorry, "grosses you out" then.

That's sad to hear but nothing to do with me, I didn't make you read this thread, you could see the title, could of just kept scrolling?

To bring some perspective to the research debate, as I mention upthread one of my DC was "less" breastfed than the others (bottle fed with both formula and expressed milk) and he has several of the conditions mentioned by the page [[http://www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/News-and-Research/Research/Breastfeeding-research---An-overview/]] quoted above. So I am one of the people who look back at how he was fed as an infant and I'm very, very sad that despite trying we didn't achieve the full bf I'd expected.

For the most serious and life defining condition, there is 25% increase in risk amongst people who were not exclusively breastfed. HOWEVER, this equates to an increase in the risk to any child from 0.25% to 0.3% if I've done the maths right. So a 99.7% chance of NOT having it, versus a 99.75% chance.

Obviously I'm relieved that I tried as hard as I could (and no, it wasn't just a case of trying to push through pain, etc, there were other issues that preventing him from being able to suck and lowered my supply).

But can his condition be attributed to our bf failure? - absolutely not. Should people try to bf because of that 0.05% difference? - maybe, it accounts for 15 children out of the 30,000 who have the condition. Is that risk worth taking? - 0.05% odds don't sound like a sufficient reason to pressure someone to do something they don't want to do and impinge on their bodily autonomy.

God why can't I do links these days www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/News-and-Research/Research/Breastfeeding-research---An-overview/

I was bottle fed. Last month I had my first, ever dose of antibiotics for a uti (I'm in my 50's)
Both my dc were bottle fed. Ds1 had his first dose of antibiotics at uni for a throat infection when he was doing his dissertation. He was 21.
Ds2 had his first dose of antibiotics for a gum infection prescribed by the dentist a few months back. He was 19.
Yes I know this is anecdotal and all sorts of nonsense will be spouted at me, including bloody hell, do you not feel guilty that your adult ff children have had one course of antibiotics each? obviously because they were ff and their immune systems are rubbish

Anecdotal evidence is not allowed on here, that's fine, but I'm very happy smug with my gorgeous, healthy, formula fed family.

"The problem is that mini has shown no sympathy or respect to mums with mental health problems on the bf threads (myself included). "

Sorry - where? Are you complaining because I've made unsympathetic responses, to comments by someone with PND linked to breastfeeding which were directed at me?

Can you pick out one in particular which is directed at me?

"She's dismissed as rubbish anyone who states severe pnd as a reason for not bf "

Where?

If you can't find a post where I clearly say that PND is no reason for anyone not to breastfeed then I will apologise for it, because I must have written it without noticing.

If on the other hand you can't find a post where I say that PND is no reason for not breastfeeding then maybe you should apologise.

Or maybe you could reread my posts with a clear head on your shoulders. Perhaps you've seen me say that someone with PND and difficult breastfeeding may wish to carry on breastfeeding? Or that breastfeeding when a mother is reluctant may not cause PND. Maybe you've read this and wrongly assumed I was saying 'Mental health problems caused or made worse by breastfeeding are no reason not to breastfeed'.

Whatever. I know I am sympathetic to women with mental health problems. If you'd searched my user name you'd see I've just spent the week trying to help my daughter who has been in hospital after a suicide attempt on Tuesday - she has a severe depression which isn't responding to treatment. I would never dismiss PND and I'm sorry you had such a rotten time with feeding your baby.

"Yes I know this is anecdotal and all sorts of nonsense will be spouted at me, "

What sort of nonsense? Like 'do you think there's much sense in using this sort of anecdote to make a point about the health benefits of breastfeeding? Is that 'nonsense'?

"including bloody hell, do you not feel guilty that your adult ff children have had one course of antibiotics each?"

Yes - of course someone is going to come along and say something like this. Of course.

Oh goodness, the depths of stupidity that otherwise sensible people descend to in relation to this issue.

punk, It's great to hear your family enjoy such good health. BF is known to be protective against some infections. That doesn't mean every FF baby will experience those infections and no BF baby will. It means that overall the incidence is lower in BF babies than FF babies.

As you say, your evidence is anecdotal, whereas evidence about the benefits of BF is based on extensive research.

" obviously because they were ff and their immune systems are rubbish "

So - who has said this?

Do you want to quote directly from someone on this thread or an information source on the internet where someone says that a person who isn't breastfed will have a 'rubbish' immune system?

Or do you want to admit that this is just a translation of 'breastfeeding boosts the immunity of newborns', which you have distorted for the purposes of making an unfair point that people who are defending breastfeeding are talking utter bollocks

Why do you feel the need to do that?

Is it because you can't attack what they're actually saying (see above) because it's clearly so unremarkable and reasonable? So you have to create a straw man argument and attack that?

punk - whilst it's nice for you that you are smug that your children are healthy, it doesn't read well following on from my immediately previous post.

I never BF as I had exactly the same feelings as OP (and I was 40 when I had my DD so not young and immature). I did express for the first couple of months and mix feed but then my milk dried up and it was formula all of the way.

I have no regrets about not BF, and DD has been incredibly healthy and robust from day one. It also meant her father could feed her regularly and give me a rest which was very important for me.

I think every mother does what's best for her child and you choose the feeding method which suits you all best. At nursery I look at my DD (who is 2 and a half) and I can't tell which child was BF of FF all I know is that my DD is bright, engaged, lively and healthy. She isn't overweight, slow or sickly so I honestly think that as long as she was fed well enough (and she was) that's that stage done with.

I never felt the angst OP appears to. I was going to FF and that's what we did and no one tried to change my opinion.

DixieNormas Sat 14-May-16 21:56:22
Maybe punk didn't bother to read your link. It's not compulsory you know

Not the link but the post. Not compulsory but most people on here get the idea that you should read RTFT (read the full or fucking thread if you don't know the acronym).

"don't sound like a sufficient reason to pressure someone to do something they don't want to do and impinge on their bodily autonomy"

I think you are possibly pissing into the wind on this one as there simply isn't anyone on this thread (or anywhere I reckon) who believes that women should be forced in any sense to breastfeed.

Interestingly UK mothers obviously are vastly more skilled at resisting pressure to breastfeed (if there is indeed all that much of it), as they currently have the lowest breastfeeding rates in the developed world.

But if you feel that women are actually being unfairly pressured to breastfeed, then perhaps our 'natural' breastfeeding rate at a year should be even lower than it currently is?

Dixie, I think maybe the point was punk's post talking proudly about her family's good health might have seemed a bit insensitive coming immediately after a post about a child with some possibly serious health issues.

t1, thanks for an interesting post and I'm sorry you still feel upset about your experience of BF. I think your point about overall risk levels of some of these illnesses is an important one too.

"I think every mother does what's best for her child and you choose the feeding method which suits you all best."

I'm not sure about that. According to the Infant feeding survey, the vast majority (83%) of women choose to breastfeed because they believe it's the healthiest choice for their baby. So not choosing on the basis of what meets their needs as an adult or a couple, but for reasons to do with the well being of the baby.