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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to breast feed?

551 replies

LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 07:41

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and have decided I'm going to bottle feed my baby. Shock

I know breast is best but the thought of breast feeding really grosses me out and makes me feel sick. It's not something I will feel comfortable doing either.

Not only that but I don't want my baby stuck on my chest all the time.

Before I get flamed, I have nothing against women who choose to breastfeed, I have no problem seeing it, Just the thought of me doing it myself grosses me out.

Are there any other mums to be that feel the same or similar? x

OP posts:
FutureGadgetsLab · 14/05/2016 17:30

I would just think of you as someone with very limited intelligence

Why would you imply someone's stupid for finding something gross?

Helmetbymidnight · 14/05/2016 17:33

Im not implying anything. I am saying I would find her stupid if she went around saying that.

FutureGadgetsLab · 14/05/2016 17:42

Why?

toopeoply · 14/05/2016 17:50

Thank you so much to those who mentioned Dmer. I'd never heard of it, but certainly suffer. I'm exclusively expressing for baby in hospital and it describes exactly how I feel.

Helmetbymidnight · 14/05/2016 17:55

I find the people who say, 'ewww, the way you look is gross' stupid as well. Or someone who felt it necessary to say, 'Eww, the thought of shagging your husband...disgusts me'. Or yuk, the thought of living in your neighbourhood appalls me.

As op would say, It's personal feeling to me

I wouldn't say out loud: "I find you really stupid". That's just what I would think. I have the manners to keep some things to myself. Most people do.

FutureGadgetsLab · 14/05/2016 17:57

So it's because she isn't keeping it to herself? I don't think that's stupid. Insensitive maybe but not stupid.

Helmetbymidnight · 14/05/2016 18:03

Meh she can say what she likes but I can think what I like in response, that's how it works isn't it?

Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 14/05/2016 18:04

Like I've said a few times, if YOU BF that doesn't gross me out at all, it's the thought of ME doing it that's horrible. If you want to be offended by that then you're definitely over sensitive!
If I say I don't like wearing leggings because they make me look fat does that mean you should be offended as I'm calling you fat? NO!

OP posts:
Helmetbymidnight · 14/05/2016 18:06

I said I wouldn't be offended.

FutureGadgetsLab · 14/05/2016 18:29

You can, I just don't see how you've got from what she said to stupid.

Helmetbymidnight · 14/05/2016 18:37

Oh I got there quite easily.

FutureGadgetsLab · 14/05/2016 18:38

And I'm trying figure out how and why yet you insist on snide remarks instead.

Baboooshka · 14/05/2016 18:43

Describing anything as gross, repulsive, yucky, or disgusting is always going to convey disdain for it, whether you say 'it's just my personal opinion' or not.

I don't particularly care if Future thinks eating red meat is gross -- presumably you've tried it, or are opposed on moral grounds? Gross is stronger than 'it's not for me' or 'I don't really like it'. Gross is vehement. If you said it when I was cooking a steak or eating a burger I'd think you were rude.

And if people sometimes had to cite anti-discriminatory laws to ensure that they could sit somewhere and eat a roast beef sandwich, without being told to move on yuck! so what if it's a natural function? what next: pissing in public, taking a dump by the side of the road? ugh! are we animals? then saying red meat 'grosses you out' becomes an even stronger statement.

It's the difference between a guy saying 'I'm not gay' and 'I'm not gay -- ugh. Not being funny, but the idea of two men... it's just repulsive. I mean, fine, if you want to do it, but the thought of me doing it makes me want to puke'. Even if it's true, it's an obnoxious way to express yourself.

Blimmincheek · 14/05/2016 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 14/05/2016 18:50

Then people shouldn't ask you for an opinion if they aren't prepared to hear something you may not like or agree with... I wouldn't just randomly say that I find x gross but if somebody asked my opinion then I would :)

OP posts:
NarpIsNotACunt · 14/05/2016 18:51

Lou

Funny, nobody did ask you, did they.

FutureGadgetsLab · 14/05/2016 18:52

Babooshka It's not moral reasons, I don't like the texture.

I wouldn't deride red meat while someone was eating it but if someone asked my opinion I'd say "I find it gross". That is not me calling the people eating it gross.

I think it's akin to saying "I'm not gay, the idea of ME sleeping with another man repulses me". That's different to saying "two men sleeping together is repulsive".

I think there is a difference between saying something is objectively gross or its gross to you. OP has said the idea of her breastfeeding grosses her out. Not breastfeeding in general.

I think it's a bit much to assume she thinks all breastfeeding is gross.

Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 14/05/2016 18:56

NarpIsNotACunt I was replying to 'biscuits' comment about explaining my choice...

OP posts:
Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 14/05/2016 18:57

FutureGadgetsLab Yes exactly. If people bothered to read my earlier posts they would see that BF in general doesn't 'gross' me out at all.. Just the thought of doing it myself.

OP posts:
Baboooshka · 14/05/2016 19:06

I think it's akin to saying "I'm not gay, the idea of ME sleeping with another man repulses me". That's different to saying "two men sleeping together is repulsive".

But that first statement is rude, and unneccessary, and would offend people.

I think you're imagining a bigger distance than there really is between 'saying something is objectively gross or saying it's gross to you'. They're really, really not as far apart as you think.

meffhead · 14/05/2016 19:12

I've held off from this thread as I thought it was goady......

I'll say what I think.....

I breastfed 2 of my children because Yes breast is best. Most other mammals feed their young.... If cows get the change .... Loads of human mums steal their milk cause they can't even be arsed to try to feed their own!

I tube fed my other DC as he is disabled and put EBM down his tube until I dried up!

Breastfeeding at the start is hard work ... Then it becomes second nature ... Sorry hang on!!!! It is natural !!!

Hate these goady threads of mums who just want to be stroked because they feel guilty because they can't be arsed!!!!

You might never use your vagina again either .... It's a bit "weird" when you expel another human from it!

unimagmative13 · 14/05/2016 19:19

Can't be arsed Shock

Blimmincheek · 14/05/2016 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LouBlue1507 · 14/05/2016 19:22

meffhead Do you want a Blue Peter badge?

OP posts:
FutureGadgetsLab · 14/05/2016 19:23

Meff your post is one of the goady ones though

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