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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to breast feed?

551 replies

LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 07:41

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and have decided I'm going to bottle feed my baby. Shock

I know breast is best but the thought of breast feeding really grosses me out and makes me feel sick. It's not something I will feel comfortable doing either.

Not only that but I don't want my baby stuck on my chest all the time.

Before I get flamed, I have nothing against women who choose to breastfeed, I have no problem seeing it, Just the thought of me doing it myself grosses me out.

Are there any other mums to be that feel the same or similar? x

OP posts:
Hihellohi · 14/05/2016 01:08

any midwife with a long fingernail can treat tongue tie!

Err are you for real?

ICJump · 14/05/2016 01:40

I wanted to mention that I don't feel anything when I'm breastfeeding. There is barely any sensation for maybe 90% of the time. I know that sounds weird but it's true. I feel my baby on my body but while feeding it's almost like my nerves switch off. My nipples still have feeling at other times.

But I still think it's your body, you get the say in what it does and who touches it and how.

kinkytoes · 14/05/2016 02:58

To the person saying that feeding method is not recorded for her child - if there is a red book involved, it is actually recorded in there how the baby is fed, at several points.

unimagmative13 · 14/05/2016 03:17

Not mine there isn't! Just a growth chart if I get him weighed.

RaskolnikovsGarret · 14/05/2016 05:24

Why on earth should OP not post that she finds the idea of BF gross? Why is it not a valid opinion? I bfd my two DDs for six months each despite detesting it, and wish I hadn't. It was painful, tiring, and yes, gross. I hated it.

My niece and nephew were exclusively formula fed, and are the healthiest, cleverest, happiest children I know. At 11 and 13, they've never been near an antibiotic. And my Dsis was a lot happier as a new mother than I was, with my foolish persevering of bf.

Do what feels right for you OP, and you are entitled to your own point of view.

FriskyFrog · 14/05/2016 09:00

Good link posted by KnitsBakes

Those denying the validity of the research are either deliberately or genuinely not understanding;

a) the normal caveats that are stated for any piece of research, and
b) the fact that confounding variables are often accounted for

If people deny the demonstrated statistically significant associations between breastfeeding and reduction in health benefits, they might as well deny any widely accepted fact that has come from any empirical research at all. E.g driving fast causes more serious accidents, smoking results in a lower life expectancy, poverty results in a lower life expectancy.

Of course, to deny established facts is idiocy, fuelled only by a defensive stance taken by people who have already made a choice (willing or not) to breastfeed.

Breastfeed or don't, nobody really cares what others feed their baby, but don't be an idiot and pretend not to understand established medical research findings.

NicknameUsed · 14/05/2016 09:02

If breastfeeding is so natural why is it so hard?

DD wouldn't latch on after she was born and her blood sugar levels dropped alarmingly because she wouldn't feed. The hospital had to give her some formula in a cup. Fortunately I had very supportive midwives and they wouldn't send us home until I had established breastfeeding. As a result we were in hospital for 5 days.

Those of you who started with bottles straight away, didn't you get very sore by not breast feeding at all?

FriskyFrog · 14/05/2016 09:06

Duh! My above post should read "associations between breastfeeding and increase in health benefits" obvs...

AliensInUnderpants12 · 14/05/2016 09:06

I'm not getting sucked into the whole bf vs ff debate. OP, if you don't want to bf, then don't...in the real world most people won't be judging you either way. I would advise having some paracetamol in the cupboard though as I found when my milk came in my boobs where very painful for a few days!

Brightside65 · 14/05/2016 09:10

I'm 31 weeks and want to ff however I would like to give baby breast milk for few days as I've read first milk has lots of goodness in it.

I'm too scared to ask midwife as I assume she'll say if I'm doing it for few days I should carry on but how easy is it to move to ff after a few days of breast?

UmbongoUnchained · 14/05/2016 09:14

brightside I expressed for 2 weeks then went straight onto formula and it was fine. Baby didn't even know the difference.

FriskyFrog · 14/05/2016 09:16

Brightside. It's pretty easy. I mix fed from the start before slowly moving to BM exclusively. I suspect it would have been easier to slowly move to FF exclusively.

If you reduce the demand on yourbreastmilk steadily shouldn't get too much of an issue with breasts being too full and sore.

kinkytoes · 14/05/2016 09:32

Unimag - at the new baby review, 6-8 week review and the 1 year review there is space for that information. There is in both my children's red books anyway.

FutureGadgetsLab · 14/05/2016 09:34

Brightside it's easy. I mixed fed from birth but DS didn't take to breastfeeding, so I tried expressing but he preferred formula. Confused

FutureGadgetsLab · 14/05/2016 09:36

No one bullied me about it either. I was told every breastfeed helps and it was great that I'd fed him at all (he was on a NG tube for a bit which made latching hard afterwards).

unimagmative13 · 14/05/2016 09:37

But to say a baby is BF at 6-8 weeks then formula fed at 1 year doesn't give a picture of what's happened in the in between time. The HV doesn't take that information away to use for research either.

kinkytoes · 14/05/2016 09:49

The one year check asks for 'date of last breastfeed'. I don't know who uses the information or for what, but it is recorded nonetheless.

BertieBotts · 14/05/2016 10:32

WTF? "I keep thinking of all these mums who feed till their child is 7. Everything like they achieve something do they think 'that was down to mummy milk?' "

I fed till my child was four so I suppose I'm "one of those mums". Of course I don't think everything he does is down to breastmilk. Don't be daft.

For those asking about stats there used to be a five-yearly infant feeding study which was sent out randomly to parents who had given birth in England, NI, Scotland and Wales but it's now been cancelled due to lack of funding :( We have data from 1995 to 2010 but the 2015 survey was not run. Which is a huge shame IMO.

Ifiwasabadger · 14/05/2016 11:51

Nickname, my consultant very helpfully prescribed me tablets (dostinex?) so I'd didn't have any pain from not feeling. She was great. She actually offered them to me....

KnitsBakesAndReads · 14/05/2016 11:53

Of course, to deny established facts is idiocy, fuelled only by a defensive stance taken by people who have already made a choice (willing or not) to breastfeed.

Yes, this is what I find so frustrating about these discussions.

I have no intention of judging other mums for their feeding choices. As I said earlier, I assume that the vast majority of parents want what's best for their child so in most cases a decision to FF will be based on the parents' belief that it's in their child's best interests (obviously that belief may or may not be correct).

What I don't understand though, is why some people need to dispute the well-established health benefits of BF in order to justify a decision to FF. Why not just acknowledge those benefits but say that in your specific case the problems you had with BF outweighed the benefits.

I think everyone should have the opportunity to make a decision about feeding their baby based on full knowledge of the facts about the health benefits of BF. That's why threads like these, where well-established scientific facts are repeatedly disputed without any evidence being provided, are so frustrating. I hate to think of someone reading this thread and going away with the belief that there's some uncertainty about the benefits of BF when in fact those benefits are so well-established that even formula manufacturers barely bother to dispute them!

Blimmincheek · 14/05/2016 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dee213 · 14/05/2016 12:36

....Just a thought, probably playing devil's advocate here, but for all those quoting the benefits & protection offered by BF v FF, and the apparent 'nasties' in FF....where do we stand on the 'nasties' in vaccinations we routinely pump into our tiny newborns?

Just asking.......

FutureGadgetsLab · 14/05/2016 12:40

There aren't "nasties" in vaccinations.

SpeakNoWords · 14/05/2016 12:49

There aren't "nasties" in formula. It's a safe, adequate food for babies under 6 months. It's use comes with additional risks that aren't associated with breastfeeding, and it doesn't contain a whole host of things that breastmilk does as a live bodily fluid. Formula also doesn't confer any of the possible protective effects for the mother that breastfeeding does. That's not the same as saying that formula has "nasties" in it.

anotherdayanothersquabble · 14/05/2016 12:54

BF v's FF and now a vaccine thread... Really???