To think there are size double standards on mumsnet?

[Tobeavsangel]

So I read a thread and a model is being ripped apart for her looks and size.

There was even a comment about how the company should pay her to eat .... Could you imagine the outrage if it was a plus size model and I said the company should have her cut down on her portion sizes?

I'm not even skinny (size 10) but I just hate this double standard on mumsnet.

Really Soup Dragon? Maybe you can find all the thin shaming comments in these threads. Happy Hunting to you and the OP

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2120233-Isnt-about-Fattism-was-added-to-the-list-of-prohibited-isms?pg=8

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a1084986-To-wonder-if-fat-people-overfeed-their-babies

Now im willing to bet a penny to a pinch of shit that at the time of writing this post that there isnt a thread asking if thinner people underfeed their babies.

I dont think it does either

Maybe you can find all the thin shaming comments in these threads. Happy Hunting to you and the OP hmm

I don't think you quite understand what "double standards" means. It doesn't mean that fat shaming doesn't exist, it means that thin shaming is acceptable. Which is proved quite nicely by this thread which has lots of posters complaining about fat shaming and spectacularly missing the point.

I am neither very fat nor thin so I have no axe to grind either way.

there are plenty of threads bitching about thin celebrities. This is seen as acceptable whereas I bet bitching about fat celebrities would be jumped on. Two that spring to mind are one about Jesy from Littje Mix when they won X factor (she is simply not the standard thin pop star) and any thread about the duchess of Cambridge.

Actually what would be best is if MN banned shaming anyone on the basis of their size.

Fat shaming does happen more than thin shaming but both are reprehensible and playing into the view that how someone looks is more important than who they are.

Baconyum i completely agree. Soup Dragon i dont go on the celeb threads and i think bringing that up is rather clutching at straws.

But since you have it should be looked at from both sides. Celebs who have slimmed down often then go on to say things like "If i can do it anyone can"

The latest one to say something like this is Lisa Riley. "Im proof that its doable"

So some are quite happy to pile the pressure on non-famous women.

Ive lost 10 stone and i would never say anything like this.

a. because it puts pressure on other women

b. it doesnt take into account individual circumstances.
c. it comes across as a bit cocky.

Exactly Helena (plus they usually pile all the weight they've lost back on within a year!)

YANBU.

The slim-shaming on MN is much harsher and more blatant than the fat shaming.

Then you get the faux-concern that people start doing when someone says they weigh less than 10 stone.

And then people come in to add that when they weighed as little as 10 stone they looked ill, gaunt and anorexic.

Whereas when an overweight woman posts size/weight/measurements/photo, most people tell her she looks great and not overweight at all.

Then anyone who suggests that it would be good to get to a healthy BMI gets shouted down as the cause of teenage anorexia which is a bigger problem in society than obesity. And that overweight people just have heavier bones and more muscle.

Then someone starts a thread saying all size 10-and-below women starve themselves everyday and are miserable.

Utter nonsense.

Nonsense Amarok You know fine well that thats bollocks.

I actually had to get an MNer who has seen me to confirm that i dont still have back fat even after losing all that weight because a couple of people on another thread were insisting that i must have.

I know 100% that it's NOT bollocks. Because it's happened, numerous times, on threads I've been on. Most of them quite recently too, hence being fresh in my memory.

I could link to them quite easily.

Well possibly ive not seen them. Body shaming is wrong full stop.

'it's happened' to you does not mean it hasn't happened more times to overweight people.

I'm medium sized, neither fat nor thin and as far as I can see there is much more fat-ism on MN than thin-ism

You probably have Helena as you are on most of the threads.

But I suppose you are maybe more tuned in to the fat-shaming comments and remember those, whereas I pick up more on the slim-bashing due to our different perspectives on the issue.

Not happened "to me", Jings, I never start threads about weight.

I just comment on threads where I see people doing and saying the above about slim people, because I think it's bullshit.

I think some of it must come from experiences in RL Amarok. That has to come into it too. Hope if you do get any shit in RL that you tell them to fuck off.

I think if someone posts a photo on MN (whether they're slim or fat) they get a fair amount of snark. I remember a person with a normal sized/slim figure posted a photo. She said she was at the upper range of (but still within) her BMI and she got a lot of 'hmmmmm, I still think you could do with losing some weight' style comments.

I have seen threads with OPs who were below the NHS range for a healthy BMI receive responses encouraging them to ignore concerned family or hcps.

Most recently, a thread with an OP in a similar situation garnered dozens and dozens of, frankly, dangerous posts encouraging her to exercise. People are inclined to not to see being underweight as an issue and to take the underweight person's side. If an OP posted, "X said I was overweight and I'm upset", people are very likely to say, "well are you? Give your height and weight".

If an OP says "X says I'm too thin and I obviously have an ED", posters go, "aw hun, ignore the jealous bitches".

Helena generally I just try to politely correct, and then fume afterwards, because when you're small you just have to sit and take it!

Tara I know the thread you're talking about and that person had lost a lot of weight after spending weeks in hospital with a quite serious illness (IIRC), and was wanting to get her strength, and weight, back up to what it was before.

People were mainly suggesting exercises to strengthen up (including some misguided advice, this being a free-for-all message board), but most of the thread was about things she should be including in her diet to help her recover.

Very few people who post that someone has said they are too thin are actually underweight, is the point. That's why people say to ignore them, if there's no actual issue. Society has just lost sight of what slim is so you get women who are 9stone being told they're ill, anorexic, too skinny, look like a 12 year old boy, have "no curves" and other such pleasantries, when actually they're just normal-slim.

I had to take it as well Amarok because when i WAS obese and unfit i wouldnt have been able to run away fast enough.

I can imagine Helena. I could believe that IRL fat-shaming is worse. I think we're on the same side on this debate, just looking at it from the opposite perspective. Nobody should be made to feel crap about how they look.

Yes, people should try to be healthy, because it's good to be healthy, and it's good to feel healthy, as life is so much more enjoyable when you aren't restricted (by either physical or mental health).

But I don't think that's the same as bashing purely on how someone looks, which is just the patriarchy at play.

EXACTLY Totally agree.

"Then someone starts a thread saying all size 10-and-below women starve themselves everyday and are miserable."

If you're talking about the recent thread, I really don't agree that it was thin-shaming. It was a genuine question about how to stay thin I think and the discussion in the thread was interesting and informative.

"Actually what would be best is if MN banned shaming anyone on the basis of their size. "

Yes, if it's clear. It seems to me that some people are so touchy that they call anything 'shaming'. It's not fat shaming to say that vanity sizing exists, or that certain portions of food are very large, for example, both things I've seen people call 'fat shaming'. Obesity is a serious problem and we need to be able to talk about it.