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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there are size double standards on mumsnet?

239 replies

Tobeavsangel · 11/05/2016 23:25

So I read a thread and a model is being ripped apart for her looks and size.

There was even a comment about how the company should pay her to eat .... Could you imagine the outrage if it was a plus size model and I said the company should have her cut down on her portion sizes?

I'm not even skinny (size 10) but I just hate this double standard on mumsnet.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/05/2016 14:13

This was an interesting thread before it got derailed into posters personal experiences which aren't relevant to the thread topic.

The truth is some people are fixated on what other people eat, wear, look like. It's not really about the person being objectified, it's about the person don't it. Without doubt, they have flaws themselves that they are deeply uncomfortable about and feel better about those by lashing out and criticising other people who haven't even asked for their opinion.

It's a shame that people do it. I'm even sadder that it's mostly women because the deck has been stacked against us since forever and instead of standing up and changing perceptions, so many women pile in... against other women. I never see general threads from women about other men not personally known to them, for size, shape, dress-sense. Plenty of threads about random women though. It really is insidious and it's ensuring a horrible legacy for our own daughters.

Gwenhwyfar · 20/05/2016 22:21

Lying, there is a resurrected zombie thread at the moment where men are criticised for wearing speedos so men do get criticised for their dress sense on mn, it's just that there's more interest in women's appearance because most of us are women.

Original poster
Tobeavsangel · 20/05/2016 22:40

I wouldn't class this as a zombie threat. Thought it had to be at least a month for that.

HelenaDove do you ever get tired of seeking out weightloss threads and telling your slimming world story over and over?

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 20/05/2016 22:55

I didn't mean that this one is a zombie thread Tobe, I meant the one about the father who wears speedos.

I've also found this one about men who wear grey tracksuits www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2159518-To-hate-those-grey-jersey-tracksuit-bottoms-men-wear

HelenaDove · 20/05/2016 23:01

I posted it on this one because a previous comment made it relevant.

And the more i can warn ppl about the perils of fast weight loss and hopefully save them from the excrutiating pain of gall bladder disease so much the better.

Its a topic which i know something about. If there is a new MN rule with an instruction that there is a limit on how often we can post on something that we have experience of and know about please post a link on the thread. Ive posted just as often on school bullying threads and just as often (if not more) on the Relationships board.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/05/2016 23:42

August 2014 for the grey tracksuit one, Gwynhwyfar. I don't know the date of the speedo one but I imagine it's not as current as the dozen or so I could find for this week so it illustrates the point. Women just can't/won't stop their negative assessments of other women.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/05/2016 00:28

The speedo one is a zombie thread, but resurrected recently. Of course there's more interest in women's style than men's in a women's forum.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/05/2016 11:53

My point is, Gwynhwyfar is that you had to go back to a zombie thread to find one that criticises a man's outfit. You would not have to do so for a similar thread about women's choice of outfits.

It's not a women's forum anyway, it's a parent's forum and I could pretty much guarantee you that, if such a thing as 'Dadsnet' exists, there would NOT be myriad threads on it to discuss what Prince William was wearing and didn't he look fifty shades of awful in it.

TaraCarter · 21/05/2016 16:20

Lying Excellent point, well-worded.

HelenaDove · 21/05/2016 17:39

As far as im concerned ppl should be able to wear what they like without others sniggering or taking the piss.

Some ppl are just tossers.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/05/2016 11:59

LyingWitch - MN is obviously more for mothers than fathers - the clue's in the name. There is a fathers' topic isn't there, because most of the topics are aimed at women. Style and Beauty, for example, is about women's style and beauty.

I've said this many times now, but the zombie thread was RECENTLY RESURRECTED. I did NOT have to go back to find it.

Runningupthathill82 · 22/05/2016 12:31

Gwen's right, that Speedos thread was in Active most of the time last week. I didn't realise it was a zombie at first either.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/05/2016 12:37

"As far as im concerned ppl should be able to wear what they like without others sniggering or taking the piss. "

Yes, of course, but there between sniggering at someone and answering an honest question in Style & Beauty or somewhere about what you think looks nice and I think the latter is wrongly being described as 'shaming'.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/05/2016 12:43

Gwenhwyfar, I don't disagree that this site is skewed to women's responses more than men. I absolutely think that women spend more time (not on Style and Beauty) negatively critiquing other women. I'm not going to do a contrast and compare because I don't need to. Anybody who is sufficiently interested can see it for themselves.

I see the same thing in real life and whilst men may 'people watch', they're not generally watching other men and critiquing their appearance - the vast majority of women, are.

There is a LOT of shaming that happens on this site... predominantly at women, by women. It's so insidious it's become almost 'acceptable'. It isn't to me.

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