To think there are size double standards on mumsnet?

[Tobeavsangel]

So I read a thread and a model is being ripped apart for her looks and size.

There was even a comment about how the company should pay her to eat .... Could you imagine the outrage if it was a plus size model and I said the company should have her cut down on her portion sizes?

I'm not even skinny (size 10) but I just hate this double standard on mumsnet.

I haven't seen that thread but those comments are shitty and I hope someone has called people out on it? Sizism is sizism and shouldn't be tolerated imho.

Generally though I think YABU. MN is one of the few places online where that shit isn't tolerated. Any comment like that which I've seen on here is usually met with "what if that was a plus size model?" as you said.

Not recently, but I've actually seen some ire directed at the overweight on here. Memorably an OP posted a picture of her toddler as she was worried as her HV had weighed her and said she was very overweight. It turned out there was a problem with the HV's scales and the child was a healthy weight, but lots of MNetters had commented that this toddler was "too fat" and that the OP just had a warped view of what is a normal weight . It's all phrased to sound like concern but sometimes I wonder if it's just mean 'girls' (sorry) being mean girls.

Yy morris

Plus size models get nowhere near as much exposure as underweight models.

There are double, treble, super multiple different standards on MN.

Because there will be as many views as poster.

Yes, I know that sounds like ai'm stating the terribly obvious.

But MN just isn't a single entity, likely to have a single view or to be particularly consistent.

There was also a recent OP who was confused as her doctor wanted to send her for blood tests and she didn't know why.

The comments were almost all awful, accusing her of demanding tax payers money, threatening her with diabetes and heart disease - I was really shocked. She was overweight, but not drastically so IIRC.

No Fara but just the same there are leanings on here. If I was asked, I would say on the whole MN leans towards being left/liberal, London-centric and fairly middle class.

There are numerous posters who don't fit that description: in fact many positively delight in highlighting how different THEY are from MN but just because we have a few members of the Scottish aristocracy voting UKIP on here, doesn't mean MN doesn't lean the other way.

YANBU and it is all part of the same culture, that judges women.

and that the OP just had a warped view of what is a normal weight

Yes this is one of them. The other is the obsession with vanity sizing. Sizing is just a number in your jeans it has a very vague correlation with weight and practically no correlation to health. But it is used to diagnose a risk of all sorts

Not to mention that last time I made these comments someone then told me I was overweight and risking my health

YY lumpy - there is a culture of women being judged at every.ficking.turn. I wonder though, are underweight women more judged on MN than overweight women?

*fucking

This is an interesting article that makes an important point about the nature of privilege and power, and the difference between 'thin privilege' and 'skinny shaming' (you can believe in the former and still be against the latter):

everydayfeminism.com/2016/05/thin-privilege-not-saying/

YANBU, although it's not as rife on MN as it is in real life. As a slim person I've had it all my life, been told I'm not a real woman because "real women have curves" and even as far as somebody suggesting my partner must be a pedophile if he finds me attractive, because I have a figure like a young boy. Being constantly told you look ill and to eat a butty by people you don't know. Believe it or not I eat a lot! It feels like you have to have to skinny and curvy to be acceptable, which is unrealistic and unobtainable for most but the genetically blessed.

I'll get flamed for this but thin women complaining they are treated badly because of their size reminds me of when white children are called a 'white bitch' or similar by a black classmate and claim that racism against white people is rife.

shovetheholly

They impressively shoehorned an enourmous amount of crap into suprisingly few words. If they'd managed to get something in about it being a 'safeguarding issue' they'd have got a full house.

'Thin privilege'

The thing about 'white privilege' (ignoring its extent) is that there is nothing a black person can do to make themselves white.

MorrisZapp - There's no need to ban overweight models because currently the only overweight models getting work are those for plus size shops. Meanwhile models for absolutely everything else from yoghurt to cars to deodorant are slim to skeletal.

Yes. How many times do you see a range of clothes which cover the, say, 8 - 22 size range being showcased at 14/16? No, it'll be a tiny model in the smallest size possible in the photos. And even then it's hanging off them sometimes!

Why? We're all different bloody sizes. Why does the default always have to be the smallest size in advertising?

Wouldn't it be nice if it were common practice to show two sizes; perhaps a 10 and a 16? Clothes look and hang differently on different size bodies and it would be v.helpful if we didn't have to be shown one extreme and guess the rest.

YANBU at all. Of course there are double standards and not just about size.... Forgive me for going off subject a bit here, but I'd like to mention also that I've read some really quite poisonous, bigoted and sexist things said about straight, white men on MN. I've often wondered if Black men, or Asian women were refereed to in such a vile way how long those posts would have lasted?

The thing about 'white privilege' (ignoring its extent) is that there is nothing a black person can do to make themselves white

Sorry - I've got derailed by this. I have never heard of 'slim privilege', but what has this^^ got to do with white privilege? The problem is with the privilege itself. Surely nobody would expect people to want to change race in order to enjoy the privilege? I'm sure I misunderstood you potatoes, but that comment just read a bit strangely to me.

I'm saying privilege due to something we can't change (race, sex, sexual orientation etc) shouldn't exist. I guess privilege is the flip side of discrimination - the two co-exist and anyone guilty of abusing their privilege or discriminating should be told so and rightly chastised (for want of a better term).

Discrimination (or privilege) down to a choice you make isn't discrimination or privilege at all.

'Slim privilege' is someone saying, I eat too much, you don't*. I'm discriminated against and you're enjoying your privileged position. It's nonsense.

*anomalies exist, of course

In that case potatoes, I suppose skinny shaming is fine as that can also be changed?

Thanks for clarifying potatoes. Personally I think discrimination stinks regardless of whether the perception is that the victim of discrimination can do something to change their position.

Fwiw I would hate to think an underweight person was discriminated against because "they could put on weight if they wanted". I would stop and think no, not necessarily. They could have an eating disorder or be ill or just not in a good enough place mentally to focus on gaining weight. I don't like the idea of putting qualifiers on anti discrimination. "Only those who can't do anything about it should be protected" sounds a bit wrong to me, but obviously just my opinion.

YADNBU it's really unpleasant to read

Sorry - bit of a x post with splendide there!

bookish that is a really interesting comment. Hadn't thought of it like that before, but it does make sense.

In that case potatoes, I suppose skinny shaming is fine as that can also be changed?

I've said already. Shaming isn't pleasant and usually shows a weakness of character in the shamer.

I also said that the two should be treated the same fattie-shaming and skinny-shaming. Really though, shaming means, 'saying mean things'. Sticks and stones, eh?

Oh OK then we agree. It's unpleasant to say mean things about people.