AIBU To Think We Wouldn't Cope?

[picklypopcorn]

DP and I really want to start a family. We have been together for 8 years, bought a house 2 years ago and financially we're ok, not a lot in savings (

minipie

We have 2 dogs... blush

I worry a lot about money so we delayed having a baby until we were sure we could survive on just DHs salary (it was very important to us that out children would have a SAHP and DH earned a lot more than me). Within months of DD1 being born my husbands industry hit a downturn and he had to take two paycuts in quick succession. Three years (and another DD) after that he was made redundant and was out of work for 6 months. On paper we should not have got by but we managed by very careful budgeting and shopping, buying second hand baby stuff, and my taking on casual /evening /p/t work when it was possible. We never missed a mortgage payment or claimed any benefits or had to pay for child care (although my mum was very helpful about baby sitting).

It is amazing how far you can stretch money when you need to and I look back on those hard up days at home with my family as the happiest of my life.

You sound very sensible - go for it.

I think babies are as expensive as you want them to be, to a point. When they are little, nappies and wipes can be bought with your child benefit and you can pick clothes and equipment up at nct sales or in charity shops or at car boots. Friends and family can be v Generous too- I couldn't believe that friends of ours genuinely wanted to give us their bouncer chair thing (now I can see why- your house gets crammed with big stuff!).
I think if it happens, you make it work. It might be worth saving a little each month if you can continue to- just to keep a cushion in case anything goes wrong with jobs etc. But people have had babies throughout history with much less. If you were both there to love and nurture it, that is worth more than any amount of money in the world.

Oooops

Actually if you already have dogs now that's a bit different. My bugbear is the couples who get them just before having DC, purely as a baby substitute, and then they get elbowed aside once the real baby arrives... Sorry I'll stop going off at a tangent.

It sounds like you are in a loving and supportive relationship and both want to have a child. You are considering all aspects and worrying about the impact, which shows you have a sensible head on your shoulders. Yes there are cost implications but you are already demonstrating that you probably have what it takes to make great parents. There are ways of getting help financially if you end up needing it but you seem both committed to doing whatever it takes. Life rarely happens the way we would plan it, my dh and I certainly didn't plan our first but I wouldn't change the outcome for the world. Sounds to me like you'll do just fine

minipie haha no chance of that with us, the dogs are family. They are a specialist breed and a bit of a hobby as well! Plus I have a hard enough time elbowing them off the sofa never mind out of our lives

We only meant to get one dog but the second was a happy accidental rescue/ failed foster Wouldn't change him for the worls now though, he came with so many issues but he's a little superstar now!

I agree 100% though and funnily enough the dogs were another major consideration during babygate! We wondered if we'd be able to cope with dogs around the baby (they are a medium sized breed, combined weight of 50kgs so not insignificant sized!) The breed is notoriously brilliant with children though and both ours are soft as muck so I doubt they'd present too much of an issue (she hopes...)