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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't have been 'expelled' from speed awareness course?

308 replies

ParsleyTheLion1 · 09/05/2016 19:49

Shortly before I was due to give birth to first DC, I was photographed doing 37 in a 30mph tunnel out near Docklands in London. (I hadn't realised the speed limit but that's no excuse, obviously).
By the time I'd received the speeding ticket etc and completed the paperwork for attending a speed awareness course etc, there wasn't enough time to do the course before giving birth. However, there is a time limit within which you have to do the course (a few months I think), so I booked it for the latest possible date (so that my DC would be as old as possible when I had to do it).
I attended the course when DS was 11 weeks. Course is 4 hours. Including travelling time, that meant about 5 hours in total away from DC who I left with a friend. I was still breastfeeding so had to take pump with me to the course (I was told I could duck out of the room to express when I needed to; this was crucial to me as I was recovering from a breast abscess which was being drained twice a week at hospital at the time, so management of breast engorgement was vital).
At the start of the course, we were told to keep our phones switched off. I put mine on silent and checked it a few times (discreetly). Once, I was caught checking it and the teacher ticked me off. Some 15 mins before the break in the course, I went off to pump in a next door room. I returned at the end of the break with the others.
At some point, about 20 minutes before the end of the course I checked my phone and probably started writing a text (I don't recall). The teacher spotted me and immediately just said to his assistant "take [soandso] out of here and send her home]". He said it in a harsh and peremptory fashion. I apologised and tried to plead to be allowed to stay. But he was having none of it. He said that he'd warned the class that anyone using their phone would not be allowed to complete the course and would therefore have to retake it. I am adamant that I was not made aware of this. (I can only imagine he gave this warning when I was outside pumping, or maybe had gone to the loo.)
Clearly I was doing something I shouldn't have been doing (i.e. checking and using phone to text). I did not do it to an unreasonable extent (I had to attend the course again a few days later and knew everything they were going to say and answers to the questions); I did it as discreetly as I could; and I feel it was a bit unfair that I didn't realise it would mean expulsion from the course. The teacher's manner was very unpleasant and unsympathetic also (i.e. he could have done the whole 'I'm sorry that I have to do this but these are the rules' etc).
Or maybe I got what I deserved? Who knows. I was very upset at the time. But maybe I should have just sucked it up. Which, actually, I did because I had no choice.

OP posts:
Theoretician · 09/05/2016 23:06

Another possibility is the East India Dock tunnel, where the speed limit is 30, however I doubt there are cameras in in that one, as I'm definitely the only person in London who slows down to 30 for it. I often end up feeling like a pillock, with one or more very annoyed drivers stuck behind me, and everyone in the other lane whizzing past. (I do think the limit for that one should be raised to 40.)

AlysaEdwards · 09/05/2016 23:11

Perhaps people continue to post that the OP is U because she isn't coming across as very likeable.

wasonthelist · 09/05/2016 23:14

Maybe we just came onto to AIBU to give an opinion about the reasonableness question originally posed?

gabbyevs · 09/05/2016 23:16

theyre not average speed cameras in the limehouse link

EatShitDerek · 09/05/2016 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ParsleyTheLion1 · 09/05/2016 23:27

I sincerely hope I shan't.

OP posts:
SouperSal · 09/05/2016 23:32

OT, but we had a nice little discussion at mine about appropriate speed not being bad (eg 90mph on an empty motorway at 2am is probably less dangerous than doing 40 in a 20 outside a school at 3pm), and that other things are significantly higher risk, eg driving too close. Pretty sure I tonked home down the motorway at 80mph afterwards.

DailyMaui · 09/05/2016 23:36

The course is only 4 hours. I had an EBF baby and I went out for six hours when she was 9 weeks old AND I SKIPPED DOWN THE STREET 😃

I pumped. Baby was with husband, all was well. Can you imagine a video link with an 11 week old baby? Do we think it would be more or less successful than with a monosyllabic teen? I think a video link with a newborn would be like skyping my dog.

I'm astonished at the poster who thought the course was bullshit. I went on one earlier this year and found it extremely informative. I have never gone over the speed limit since. Speeding ruins lives. Just because lots of people do it, doesn't make it right.

SouperSal · 09/05/2016 23:39

Inappropriate speed ruins lives.

blindsider · 09/05/2016 23:40

Did you get the course that ends with the drunk guy getting knocked over and killed by the third of three drivers pulling away from the lights in Guildford? I googled that as a friend and I were told entirely different punishments for the driver by two different instructors on the sane day. There is no record of that fatality ever happening!!

Gabilan · 10/05/2016 07:34

People aren't piling on the op. They're arguing with subsequent supporters.

Skyping with a dog is fun. Cats just look down on you. Much like life.

allowlsthinkalot · 10/05/2016 07:40

You could have taken a young ebf baby with you. They wouldn't have a leg to stand on to refuse that. But YABU about the phone.

allowlsthinkalot · 10/05/2016 07:42

I couldn't have left any of my four children for four hours at 11 weeks, dailymaui. Mine were about seven or eight months before I could.

allowlsthinkalot · 10/05/2016 07:42

I mean in terms of breastfeeding, not emotionally

MissDuke · 10/05/2016 07:47

Blind it makes sense to use a fictional scenario - then there's no chance of anyone present knowing anyone involved.

ABCAlwaysBeCunting · 10/05/2016 07:53

The Limehouse Link camera is the most profitable speed camera in the UK. The westbound side catches more people because the limits goes down from 40 to 30 and there aren't any traffic lights right before it like there are on the eastbound side.

www.standard.co.uk/news/transport/britains-most-prolific-speed-camera-nabs-48-drivers-a-day-in-east-london-a3095561.html

herecomesthsun · 10/05/2016 07:57

Allow - no you can't take the baby with you. Neither can you have your partner sitting around the corner with the baby ready to get you if there is a problem. No baby.

Andrewofgg · 10/05/2016 08:04

I've never been there but if there is a sign saying it us going down to 30 that's the end of the matter.

There is a stretch near me where the sign as you come off the roundabout says 40 but many satnavs say 50. And sure enough we get them in the magistrates' court denying liability because the satnav said 50. And I tell them that mine does too but it's the sign which counts and that's why you have to tap your screen to say that you understand. And the fine will be a lot more than the FPN would have been.

Pseudonym99 · 10/05/2016 08:12

You didn't realise the speed limit; you didn't realise you shouldn't have been texting... Are you sure you're safe to be driving?

Bobcat15 · 10/05/2016 08:22

I was in the same position. Due to attend course when baby was 6 weeks. When the time came I wasn't ready to leave him for 4 hours and was so anxious about it. I rang and they couldn't have been more understanding, they gave me an extension of 4 weeks. The course still ended up being the first time that I left him but I used the break to ring home to check on him. Felt no need to use phone during course despite initial anxiety. I learnt a lot in those 4 hours which has positively impacted on my driving since.

blindsider · 10/05/2016 08:24

Miss duke

Not when you are presenting it as fact.

Sparklingbrook · 10/05/2016 08:27

blindsider sounds like that's a whole other thread.

KamMum · 10/05/2016 08:45

In my opinion YANBU - I went back to uni a couple weeks after having my son and was constantly looking at my phone, messaging his dad to check progress and if I had to pump, I would have (I did before and after and prayed they wouldn't fill!). Personally I would lodge that as a discrimination complaint but I do use any angle possible when complaining lol. Send an email to the organiser - explain the situation, you have just had a baby, needed to pump and was worried about your new born as it was your first time away from them. I def think they should accept that.

BillSykesDog · 10/05/2016 08:47

Kam RTFT. She was allowed to pump. Special arrangements were made for her to pump and to leave the class to do it. It was nothing to do with pumping, it was to do with unrelated texting. No discrimination.

gabbyevs · 10/05/2016 08:48

is that a joke discrimination? she doesnt even know why she was looking at her phone

its people like you kam that make it difficult for a genuine complaint

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