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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't have been 'expelled' from speed awareness course?

308 replies

ParsleyTheLion1 · 09/05/2016 19:49

Shortly before I was due to give birth to first DC, I was photographed doing 37 in a 30mph tunnel out near Docklands in London. (I hadn't realised the speed limit but that's no excuse, obviously).
By the time I'd received the speeding ticket etc and completed the paperwork for attending a speed awareness course etc, there wasn't enough time to do the course before giving birth. However, there is a time limit within which you have to do the course (a few months I think), so I booked it for the latest possible date (so that my DC would be as old as possible when I had to do it).
I attended the course when DS was 11 weeks. Course is 4 hours. Including travelling time, that meant about 5 hours in total away from DC who I left with a friend. I was still breastfeeding so had to take pump with me to the course (I was told I could duck out of the room to express when I needed to; this was crucial to me as I was recovering from a breast abscess which was being drained twice a week at hospital at the time, so management of breast engorgement was vital).
At the start of the course, we were told to keep our phones switched off. I put mine on silent and checked it a few times (discreetly). Once, I was caught checking it and the teacher ticked me off. Some 15 mins before the break in the course, I went off to pump in a next door room. I returned at the end of the break with the others.
At some point, about 20 minutes before the end of the course I checked my phone and probably started writing a text (I don't recall). The teacher spotted me and immediately just said to his assistant "take [soandso] out of here and send her home]". He said it in a harsh and peremptory fashion. I apologised and tried to plead to be allowed to stay. But he was having none of it. He said that he'd warned the class that anyone using their phone would not be allowed to complete the course and would therefore have to retake it. I am adamant that I was not made aware of this. (I can only imagine he gave this warning when I was outside pumping, or maybe had gone to the loo.)
Clearly I was doing something I shouldn't have been doing (i.e. checking and using phone to text). I did not do it to an unreasonable extent (I had to attend the course again a few days later and knew everything they were going to say and answers to the questions); I did it as discreetly as I could; and I feel it was a bit unfair that I didn't realise it would mean expulsion from the course. The teacher's manner was very unpleasant and unsympathetic also (i.e. he could have done the whole 'I'm sorry that I have to do this but these are the rules' etc).
Or maybe I got what I deserved? Who knows. I was very upset at the time. But maybe I should have just sucked it up. Which, actually, I did because I had no choice.

OP posts:
ijustwannadance · 09/05/2016 22:21

No fass I love putting my phone on silent too.

So what if OP has a ebf baby. She is also pumping so presumably has left enough milk for baby or wouldn't have been able to stay away for so long. She could surely have waited 20 bloody minutes to look at her phone for something so unimportant she can't remember.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 09/05/2016 22:21

OP - YABU end of

Yes. The OP said so herself, a while back. It's down to the minutiae now.

end of Hmm

Cheby · 09/05/2016 22:21

Eminado I think the trainer was a bit of a jobsworth, because on my speed awareness course recently the trainers were fine about occasionally checking phones (as long as they were on silent and only used for calls etc during the break), the atmosphere was relaxed and comfortable and one of education not punishment, which is what it's supposed to be. I guess I think that's a better more effective approach than treating adults who have family responsibilities like naughty school children.

GirlOutNumbered · 09/05/2016 22:24

Once upon a time there were no mobile phones and you would have just left your baby... Or taken the points if you didn't think you would be able to leave.
You are being unreasonable.

joangray38 · 09/05/2016 22:28

But you are essentially naughty children if you attend this course. You broke the law whilst in charge of a piece of a machinery which has the potential to kill/ maim person/s who also have a family. By needing to attend you have already proven that you don't always concentrate or take notice of speed limits so why should the instructor automatically think you will take notice of him.

PurpleDaisies · 09/05/2016 22:32

Did people miss the op admitting she was unreasonable about six pages ago? Confused

Cheby · 09/05/2016 22:39

Joangray38, the course is aimed at people who are only marginally breaking the speed limit. It's not designed to be a punishment, it's designed to educate. That's exactly how they explained at my course.

By needing to attend you haven't necessarily proven you don't always concentrate or take notice of speed limits. Personally I was paying attention, I thought I had understood the limit on the road and was driving accordingly (thought it was a 40, was driving at 36, new area for me, unknown road, speed awareness course guys explained it catches a lot of people out).

Since attending the course I've improved/refreshed my knowledge and am much better informed on how to work out the limit in the absence of good clear signage. So unlikely to speed again (this was the first time in nearly 20 years of driving).

I'm exactly who these courses are aimed at; not naughty school children, but people who have made a genuine mistake and can be educated so they don't do it again.

gabbyevs · 09/05/2016 22:42

essex umy its the rotherhithe thats twist and turn with only one lane not the ll

kali110 · 09/05/2016 22:43

Good that you can see you're wrong.
They did nothing wrong.
You're not special op, how do you there weren't other people in the same circumstances as you there?
people with illness/ill family etc?
Everyone has circumstances yet they all manages to not look at their phones or text someone.
They didn't have to kick you out in a nice way. They probably saw it as a waste of time you doing the course that day.
Atleast you learnt somethings.

BadLad · 09/05/2016 22:44

Did people miss the op admitting she was unreasonable about six pages ago?

Since then there have been a few posters saying "YANBU" and even one piping up about discrimination, so the discussion isn't over.

wasonthelist · 09/05/2016 22:44

Yes. The OP said so herself, a while back. It's down to the minutiae now.

end of hmm

Thank you so much for your input, thread Police.

wasonthelist · 09/05/2016 22:45

Did people miss the op admitting she was unreasonable about six pages ago?

So what - is it illegal to post after that happens?

PurpleDaisies · 09/05/2016 22:46

So what - is it illegal to post after that happens?

No but it's a bit pointless to keep kicking the op after she's already admitted she was wrong.

WaitrosePigeon · 09/05/2016 22:47

All the waffle is bollocks.

You clearly have a problem following rules.

wasonthelist · 09/05/2016 22:47

No but it's a bit pointless to keep kicking the op after she's already admitted she was wrong.

and coming on here to moan about it is less pointless somehow?

WaitrosePigeon · 09/05/2016 22:49

Was Grin

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 09/05/2016 22:52

Thank you so much for your input, thread Police

Save it.

I think it's bad form to keep piling on when the OP has admitted BU.

Guttersnipe · 09/05/2016 22:53

You were lucky you could re do the course. Round here they make it plain that if you don't abide by the rules on the day you will be asked to leave and obliged to take the points on your licence.

SilverBirchWithout · 09/05/2016 22:54

Cheby if you have done the speed awareness course you will know there is no excuse for 'being caught out'. If there are street lights, it is always a 30 or under limit, unless there are repeater signs advising of a higher limit .

wasonthelist · 09/05/2016 22:55

I think it's bad form to keep piling on when the OP has admitted BU

So what?

StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 09/05/2016 22:58

Do you randomly start texting whatever you text but can't quite remember while you're driving, too, Parsley?

Theoretician · 09/05/2016 22:59

Does it begin with a L or a R the tunnel you were speeding in?

I'm now really curious to know why it matters so much which tunnel it it was. But I can answer the question, the Limehouse Link tunnel has a speed limit of 30, Rotherthithe (very old and narrow) is 20, and Blackwall 30. So it was definitely not Rotherhithe.

Theoretician · 09/05/2016 23:01

Something else for those in the area to remember: Tower Bridge is 20, and like Limehouse has (I believe in both cases) average speed cameras.

ParsleyTheLion1 · 09/05/2016 23:02

Yes, I did.
And was asked on the second occasion not to answer any of the questions (which request I was at pains to accede to!)

OP posts:
ParsleyTheLion1 · 09/05/2016 23:04

No, Stick

OP posts:
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