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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be mightily pissed off

275 replies

MooningIntoTheAbyss · 07/05/2016 08:43

I supplement my income by doing a variety of thugs but one is alterations/seamstress work.

I tend to hold a policy that I don't do work for friends/family as it creates issues (if it's not as expected or there's a problem or money type issues)

Anyway, a friend has lost weight and needed a dress altering for a wedding. She took it to a place locally but they didn't do a great job. She begged me to alter it.
This involved some 10+ hours work.
During all the begging I clearly stated multiple times that I didn't want to die to my reasons above and that I can't afford to work for free or even much discount. I usually charge £10 an hour.
She kept saying 'I'll pay you I'll pay you' 'Money isn't the issue here I really want this dress' etc etc.

You can see where this is going right?
I caved. I did the alteration. It took me ages. Not because I'm not good at it, because it involved so much unpicking and undoing of the poor work done already.

She picked it up, fits like a dream. She handed me £20. My jaw dropped a bit and she said 'what's wrong? Oh! Your not going to exploit me are you?'
I said 'it seems like your exploiting me!'

I told her how long it took and how much work and I said I would want at least £50, which is a 50% discount and she knew this from the start.
She refused.
I have her dress.
She is now sending me quite nasty messages about how I've ruined her weekend and I'm only doing this cos I'm jealous of her weight loss and stuff like that.

I'm really fucked off.
I didn't tell her a price at the start as I didn't know how long it would take.
She says I'm being U to expect her to spend this much money on one dress (original cost plus 2 alterations) and also that as were 'friend she should get mates rates.

AIBU to have kept the dress til she pays me?

OP posts:
CigarsofthePharoahs · 07/05/2016 16:05

Op, I used to run my own business dressmaking, mostly bridal and formalwear. I stopped taking any alteration work as even non friends would take the proverbial. I remember patiently explaining to one lady that to alter the dress as she wanted would involve taking the whole thing completely to pieces, which itself would take quite a long time. I told her it would be cheaper for me just to make a new dress! I'm out of the business completely at the moment and although I miss the craftsmanship, I don't miss the cheeky feckers - including one bridesmaid who I never even got to meet, emailed me her measurements which were wrong, got someone else to do some adjusting and low and behold it didn't fit. Apparently it was all my fault!
Stick to your guns. She obviously hasn't found another dress, perhaps the Dh might be a bit more negotiable?

HidingUnderARock · 07/05/2016 16:09

I would not be comfortable with that situation at all.
Will another adult be in to have your back?

txt back that her hubby can put a cheque for £100 through your letterbox tonight, and when it clears you will let her know when you will be avail for her to collect it, or arrange a public place for the handover of £100 cash which you will count before your friend/dp hands you the dress to return to her.

Resideria · 07/05/2016 16:11

Absolutely don't let her have the dress unless she pays the full £100. She's messed you around and insulted and badmouthed you. Her nasty, bullying behaviour shouldn't get rewarded.

MooningIntoTheAbyss · 07/05/2016 16:14

don't want to give it back as I really want a new tote bag

Am a single mum so DP around to do the handing over. Besides, it will be far far more satisfying to take the cash myself Wink

Not gonna bother asking for a FB apology as it will be deleted minutes after its put up!!

Ive text her my little sum as per my previous post. Got a fast reply saying her husband would be round shortly. Mutual friend is here so she will hang about. Their husbands are friends and apparently he's a nice guy. I'm not worried. I'd be more worried if CrazyDressLady was coming herself!
Want this over and done with, been going on since 8am this morning!!

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 07/05/2016 16:17

You're a nicer person than me...

Roussette · 07/05/2016 16:19

I would say when you hand it over "just so you know - I have altered this dress into a made to measure dress, it took me TEN hours and you can tell your wife I am very angry at her behaviour - as are many other friends"

MooningIntoTheAbyss · 07/05/2016 16:20

I have been deleted off her FB now anyway!

Would you all believe me that this woman is 43.... Shock

OP posts:
Roussette · 07/05/2016 16:22

p.s. I know someone who does alterations and she is up till the wee small hours doing the most brilliant work and regularly gets ppl taking the proverbial but I get exasperated because she never ever stands up for herself and TBH her health and eyesight is suffering doing all this work for peanuts.

Glad that you Mooning are taking the sensible route!

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 07/05/2016 16:24

I think you're going to have to knock her up some huffy pants to go with the dress Grin

mix56 · 07/05/2016 16:28

Is this going to total £70 in the end ? or is the husband just going to show with £30, as she already gave you £20.
if he does be ready with your scissors !!!!

OnlyLovers · 07/05/2016 16:30

So, hang on, she IS paying the full £100?

That's what your sum implies, but are you sure she won't keep trying to wriggle out of it by getting her husband to say 'What about meeting in the middle?'?

And even if she's deleted you on FB, I'd still ask for a publicly posted apology. That kind of comment isn't on.

Hissy · 07/05/2016 16:32

Weren't you going out op? Not back until Sunday night? #evil

Don't take a penny less than what you've said - she's been abysmal

MooningIntoTheAbyss · 07/05/2016 16:47

We're not sure if she's paying £100 or not.
Find out when Mr CrazyDressLady arrives!!

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 07/05/2016 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FartyTette · 07/05/2016 16:49

Sorry - place marking. Hope you get your full £100 OP!

tobysmum77 · 07/05/2016 16:57

I have been deleted off her FB now anyway!

As the saying goes every cloud has a silver lining

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 07/05/2016 16:58

I bet he only offers £50. Stick to your guns!

Or if you do accept the £50 at least make sure her Dh knows that she agreed to pay £10 an hour, knew it would take at least Ten hours and has gone back on her word. He may be shamed into paying the rest or at least he will know the truth.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 07/05/2016 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsDeVere · 07/05/2016 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mix56 · 07/05/2016 17:09

and tell him you didn't want to do it, but she hounded you, & that you told her your hourly rate, & warned her over & over again that it was going to be long & complicated.

expatinscotland · 07/05/2016 17:16

£60 or FA.

FayKorgasm · 07/05/2016 17:18

Yes I bet he doesn't come round with the full amount because she didn't tell him the full amount.

OnlyLovers · 07/05/2016 17:27

Then the OP can send him away with a flea in his ear.

I love an opportunity to use that phrase. Grin I don't really know what it means

Catinthecorner · 07/05/2016 17:48

OP you do realise the entire MN community will be very cross if you accept a penny less then the full £100 don't you?

RandomMess · 07/05/2016 17:49

Proud of you Op!!!

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