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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that guests should receive a meal at a wedding

406 replies

Roversandrhodes · 06/05/2016 14:52

Oh and I recently attended the wedding of good old friends of mine ,oh has met them a handful of times.
Wedding was at 12 and night guests arrived at 7.After the ceremony we were shown to a room for a 'mingle' whilst the wedding party had their photos.We were then taken to our assigned tables and sat down to a scone and jam.This was it ,all day.

Until about 9pm when a burger van arrived .

Aibu to think this was a little rude ?Some guests had travelled from Germany and Scotland to be there ,it was Friday so many guests inc myself and oh had taken time off work ,no kids were aloud so we (and many other guests had arranged childcare) ,we travelled an hour to get there ,brought a gift ,etc.I don't resent doing any of this ,I was happy to be invited but I just think it's a little unreasonable to expect guests to go from morning til 8pm on one scone each and a spoonful of jam.

Thoughts ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Roversandrhodes · 07/05/2016 15:19

It was the most awkward thing ever !...until the scone anyway.

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 15:23

Never ending story?

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 15:24

Men in Black?

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 15:25

Viva Las Vegas?

IfTheCapFitsWearIt · 07/05/2016 15:26

Die another day?

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 15:26

See, it's gotta be a bond

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 15:29

Stand by me?

IfTheCapFitsWearIt · 07/05/2016 15:30

Hard days night?

Pipbin · 07/05/2016 15:31

Before I met DH his sister got married. Got married at lunch time with no food until 7pm. DH and his brother got so fed up that they took the brothers children and buggered off to a drive through.
The mad thing was that she did the same thing when she got married last year. DH and brother suggested doing same again.

Original poster
Roversandrhodes · 07/05/2016 15:32

You got it MiddleClassProblem !

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 15:32

(Wicki, wicki) Wild Wild West?

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 15:32

Stand by me? Or never ending story?

Original poster
Roversandrhodes · 07/05/2016 15:33

SBM

OP posts:
Original poster
Roversandrhodes · 07/05/2016 15:33

Lol at never ending story ha ha

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 15:33

I'm a little disappointed that she didn't come down the aisle on a pink dog dragon thing now

IfTheCapFitsWearIt · 07/05/2016 15:35

Where eagles dare to only serve a scone

Original poster
Roversandrhodes · 07/05/2016 15:37

It just so happened I was seated next to a woman who thought she was auditioning for factor ,you know the type,loud ,theatrical ,just had to have her voice heard over everyone else.I didn't know wether to be annoyed or glad as It allowed me to just mouth the majority of the words

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 15:38

Did she chuck in some adlibs?

Original poster
Roversandrhodes · 07/05/2016 15:41

Ha ha well the aisle only took about 6 steps to get to the end so for the first verse we just stood and looked at the bride and groom (whilst singing)which was probably the most awkward part of the whole singing situation

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2016 15:52

Grin Seriously this wedding is ridiculous, Rovers

LifeBeginsNow · 07/05/2016 15:59

I've always been quite happy with my wedding but you've all been mentioning things that you don't like which I included!

We got married at 3pm and stopped for photos on the way back while the guests got to the venue and had pimms, beer or soft drinks. We weren't gone too long so managed to get some pimms before it was drunk.

We then went to the marquee (set in the grounds of a castle ruin with loads of flowers and pretty backdrops) and had an afternoon tea. The caterers brought out cake stands with scones, other cake and a selection of sandwiches. We also had a table full of a range of cakes and another table with a sweet buffet. The sweets were mainly aimed at the kids as we had quite a few in attendance but we provided bags for everyone to take them home (I don't like sugared almonds and didn't want some random keepsake which would most probably have been left).

At about 8pm we had the hot pork rolls which were amazing. Proper butcher quality and so tasty.

The only extra thing I wanted to do was provide free drinks but we just couldn't afford it with everything else. Everyone had free arrival drinks (I think it was a couple each) and tea with their cakes. We also gave each person a token for the bar so they could choose what they wanted. I know I could've gone cheaper on a different venue or dress but everything was perfect.

Hopefully people loved it as much as me. It was a baking hot day but there was plenty of treats dotted around (even after the tea was served) to keep them going.

Original poster
Roversandrhodes · 07/05/2016 16:12

LifeBeginsNow ,the food you provided sounds adequate to me as your wedding started at 3 so presumably your guests would have eaten lunch beforehand.We arrived at about 11.15 however and were expected to stay for 12 hours ,plus the fact there was a burger van but half of he guests never knew about it because we weren't told and we were all sitting and the socialising in different rooms.

OP posts:
LifeBeginsNow · 07/05/2016 17:19

It sounds like a very strange set up. It's not something you can bother the bride and groom with either.

We went to one where we'd travelled and paid for a hotel (plus outfits so not cheap). When it came to the reception room, there was no seating plan so we sat on a table far away from the buffet tables (thinking the family should sit closest). As more people poured into the large room, it was evident there weren't enough seats. We gave ours up and helped waiters bring more in (not sure how it was so badly calculated as the numbers were miles out).

Buffet was laid and family all went up. We held back a bit as we didn't want to look cheeky. By the time we got up there, barely anything was left. However, it was evident the offering was on the limited side anyway - lettuce, white rolls, ham, cheese. Not once were any of these refilled either. We made a filled roll each but couldn't stretch to two as there wouldn't be enough. That was it. 11am wedding and buffet I think about 2pm. Nothing else all day/ evening.

I was drunk quickly and starving so about 8pm we ordered a pizza to be delivered to the venue. The first one was taken by one of the party (cheeky gits but I understand why) so we had to wait for the next.

Nobody would say anything to the B&G (obviously) but I wonder how they managed to survive all day on that amount of food!

expatinscotland · 07/05/2016 17:33

'We also had a table full of a range of cakes and another table with a sweet buffet. The sweets were mainly aimed at the kids as we had quite a few in attendance but we provided bags for everyone to take them home (I don't like sugared almonds and didn't want some random keepsake which would most probably have been left). '

At about 8pm we had the hot pork rolls which were amazing. Proper butcher quality and so tasty.

Dear god, what is this trend for providing nothing to eat but a bunch of sweets and sweet things for hours and hours?!

There was no food at your wedding for 5 hours after it, well past the time most people eat dinner, and then it was just a roll.

Sweets and cakes are not proper food or a proper meal. They're not 'treats' they are just junk.

Is this like the trend in restaurants for serving food on anything besides a plate?

Whatever happened to serving people food?

LifeBeginsNow · 07/05/2016 18:15

Food was laid out afterwards so people could pick at it if they needed. The cream tea was a mass of food and very filling.

The pork rolls were help yourself style and most people had at least two.

Sweets were for the children to take home and make it fun for them (although I saw a lot of adults taking them). It wasn't as a substitute to actually food (as I said). It was an alternative to favours on the table.

It fitted with the theme of the wedding and kept me full. I don't like the three course thing as there's so much waste and you can't please everyone with the choice. Plus on a baking hot day, a 3 course meal didn't feel right.

Thanks for the critique though.

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