To have no interest whatsoever in joining in school things, like PTAs helping nights out

[LardLizard]

I just don't want to know tbh

Reasons are because I feel a lot of people involved are not 100% genuine
And there's too make fake friendships and bs

So I don't want to join the oat, I don't want to help out on school fetes
No I don't want to go on night out on the town with other school mums

I have my life and an active social life and I don't want to extend that

However guess I feel a bit guilty, esp about not really helping out with school stuff, but I just don't want to know and don't want to get sucked into the policitics of it all

We already have to provide a 'voluntary contribution' fairly standard here in Ireland and are told that it is essential to cover basic costs like heating and lighting but are not allowed to be privy to any of the schools finances nor is it deemed necessary to inform parents of what cost containment measures have been put in place (eg changing electricity provider) the parents are just expected to pay and we are told that is is because of the extreme financial problems in the country over recent years as if families have not already been hit hard by this.

YABU, sorry. You don't have to join in on nights out, and I fully understand not everyone is a committee person, but everyone should do something to make society a better place.
That could be being on the PTA, helping at a youth group or junior sports club, visiting lonely elderly neighbours, litter picking the list is endless. It might sound simplistic to say that if everyone did something, then everything would get better but I believe it's true.
So go on, do something good.

Or you could just sit back and say "they should do something about that".

OP, I see where you are coming from and really don't blame you and you are honest.

I have volunteered things like face painting in my time and turned up, paid my coppers at other events.
I couldn't get involved in running stalls, baking cakes, raffles and all the other who ha and I found some parents false too, but some were lovely.
It's up to you, for everyone like you there is somebody else who can't wait to get stuck in and gain their dd the part of Mary in the Nativity.
You shouldn't feel guilty about your decision, but maybe if you just popped in to a fete once a year it would ease your guilt.

Some of you have encountered some really really shitty PTAs.

In my experience there's an awful lot of "the PTA should do this" where they mean "they" not "we". PTAs actually run on the blood, sweat and tears of those who think of the PTA as "we". How can we improve the playground? How much would it cost us to paint some hopscotch (etc) shapes on the tarmac? How can we raise that much money?

Last week I failed to show for the gardening morning. I'll have looked flaky; it was for a medical reason I don't discuss. However I raised some money by donating a fee I was given for a piece of commissioned writing, and the only effort anyone else had to put in was raising an invoice and accounting for the payment. There may be lots of ways you can donate to your PTA without having to go to meetings (difficult with DH working away and youngest DC not settling for babysitters).

The social evenings are a load of shit for most people, agreed. If the school community wants to foster friendly relationships for incomers (say) then they'd be far better off with a little social engineering than enforced jollity.

So YWNBU to avoid the "do"s, but YABvvvU to dismiss all PTA activity as pointless or sycophantic, not to mention unimaginative if you can't think of another way to help your child's school.

"Some of you have encountered some really really shitty PTAs."

Yes. They have. Funny how that's always used as an excuse for not doing anything to help, isn't it? Touch of guilt-dramatics going on I feel. Because otherwise "I'm sorry, I just don't have time" is all that's needed...........

Bert - I deliberately didn't specify which "some".

We previously had problems with PTA cttee not wanting to overload new joiners with meetings and boring jobs, so signed them up to "just" man a stall for an hour or something, not realising that that felt like a snub.

It's quite a hard balancing act to make sure all new volunteers get an interesting-enough job as soon as possible after their first contact ... without risking disaster if they flake out at the last minute (so eg double them up on a stall with an old hand).

"but YABvvvU to dismiss all PTA activity as pointless or sycophantic, not to mention unimaginative if you can't think of another way to help your child's school."

This ^^ tenfold

"Some of you have encountered some really really shitty PTAs"

It is worth remembering that not all PTAs are like this.