Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have no interest whatsoever in joining in school things, like PTAs helping nights out

182 replies

LardLizard · 05/05/2016 22:51

I just don't want to know tbh

Reasons are because I feel a lot of people involved are not 100% genuine
And there's too make fake friendships and bs

So I don't want to join the oat, I don't want to help out on school fetes
No I don't want to go on night out on the town with other school mums

I have my life and an active social life and I don't want to extend that

However guess I feel a bit guilty, esp about not really helping out with school stuff, but I just don't want to know and don't want to get sucked into the policitics of it all

OP posts:
fatowl · 05/05/2016 23:20

I'm a volunteer with another organisation (not PTA)

I'm about to run an event this weekend. I love it, I enjoy working with my volunteer team and I enjoy the kids.

I don't expect anyone to help who doesn't want to.
In fact, I'd rather they didn't volunteer if they didn't wholeheartedly enjoy it.

But I do have issue with parents who don't volunteer and then nitpick at everything and complain about how it's run.

I also have an issue with parents who say "I'd love to help but.... "
All my volunteers have jobs/kids/busy lives. They've chosen to make time for something they value.

Either volunteer or don't.
There's no need to wring your hands about it

YouMakeMyDreams · 05/05/2016 23:20

I was told by our head when I took over as chair of the PTA that parents had a certain expectation that these events went ahead. I told him they could get off their backsides and volunteer to help then. This was because a night of 3 Halloween discos were looking like they may be cancelled through lack of volunteers.
I don't judge anyone who doesn't volunteer. Everyone has their own reasons but it is bloody frustrating when you work hard with few hands to help to put on a school fayre and nobody outwith the pta offers to help yet just about every child in the school walks through the door that night with a parent. If enough people offered we could do a rota 15 minutes is all people would need to give but they want to enjoy the night with their child Hmm yeah me too but I never have.

Canyouforgiveher · 05/05/2016 23:22

then don't bother. loads of people don't.

But your post is very judgey. most of us who volunteer at school events also have our own life and an active social life and are not being fake. We are just volunteering for something in our community. As it happens I've made great friends with people through meeting them at school events. Fortunately I don't have a finite number of people I can socialise with so I was open to getting to know them.

Original poster
LardLizard · 05/05/2016 23:23

I don't think it is necessary to raise extra money

I do not complain about the events they do, because I do not attend them, and I certainly don't to complain they don't do enough events

OP posts:
BombadierFritz · 05/05/2016 23:26

You are in the vast vast majority so no need to try to justify your decision as you are just the same as 98% of the other parents

Oly5 · 05/05/2016 23:27

I can't be bothered with it either OP! Just not my thing. So I don't join in.
And I don't bitch either

arethereanyleftatall · 05/05/2016 23:28

The money raised by the PTA at our school have paid for :
Library books
Library furniture
Interactive white boards
Computers
School trips - 1 per class
Christmas panto

I could go on.

Original poster
LardLizard · 05/05/2016 23:28

Oh yes I am odd, I've never claimed not to be odd.

Wouldn't say I was insecure though.
More the opposite of that if anything
Secure enough to just say no
Not interested

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 05/05/2016 23:30

'Not interested. Can't be bothered. You do it.'

Lovely.

dolkapots · 05/05/2016 23:33

Well OP it is safe to assume that your dc will never have a lead role in the school play Grin

Original poster
LardLizard · 05/05/2016 23:33

Ah I never said you do it

I don't think what they do is necessary so I certainly don't think or say you do it

OP posts:
BreconBeBuggered · 05/05/2016 23:34

Not sure why you bothered asking, then, OP. Not wanting to get involved is hardly a unique position. You weren't hoping for a PTA bitchfest, were you?

arethereanyleftatall · 05/05/2016 23:35

What sort of things do the PTA buy for your dc school then?

whois · 05/05/2016 23:36

I don't get the whole 'looking down' on people that help run the PTA etc on here. It's inverse snobbery trying to make yourself feel better for not bothering to help out at all.

Bet you like your child having the things the PTA raise money for!

If you don't have time for a regular commitment then fine, but it wouldn't kill you to help out occasionally at events.

BombadierFritz · 05/05/2016 23:37

It is odd, tbh. Not the 'not volunteering' part. Thats the norm. Most people dont. But most people dont then post about it trying to justify not volunteering. Thats a bit odd tbh.

Original poster
LardLizard · 05/05/2016 23:37

As I've already said, guess it makes me feel a bit guilty
But actually feel less so reading this thread

OP posts:
Original poster
LardLizard · 05/05/2016 23:38

Already said I am odd

OP posts:
Original poster
LardLizard · 05/05/2016 23:38

I happy accept being odd

OP posts:
defineme · 05/05/2016 23:39

Is it a private school? Our school isn't (primary) and the pta funds make a real difference to the children's experience of school. There is play equipment in the playground, an outside classroom and seating, strips for the teams, ipads, books, gardening equipment etc. I am happy to send in contributions for the fair and man the doors at the disco. Totally different to parents night out-dh likes those as he likes going to the pub and will chat to anyone, i prefer not to. I think it's a shame if you have the time to not help out-a good school is a community.

BombadierFritz · 05/05/2016 23:39

Jolly good. So you needed to justify your apathy.

ilovesooty · 05/05/2016 23:39

Please yourself then. Since you obviously made your mind up already, just accept that you're pretty insular but others feel differently.

smellyboot · 05/05/2016 23:40

Our school PTA raises a lot of money that enhances the experience for all DC. Almost all volunteers have jobs and multiple DC and other stuff on. They give up an hour here or there to make it happen. If you just want to reap the benefits but can't give up an hour or so of time then that's il to you. We won't sympathise sorry.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/05/2016 23:41

There's plenty of things you can do to help without having to get involved with other parents.
Reading, cooking, gardening; any extra help.
The PTA is probably a bit 'social' so I can understand doesn't suit all people.

Sistersweet · 05/05/2016 23:51

I don't get involved either and I don't help out at school. It simply isn't my thing but I certainly don't complain about it either.

PastaLaFeasta · 05/05/2016 23:52

I must be the only parent who tried to help in the PTA and wasn't wanted. I don't bother supporting them now and give my time elsewhere - one of those volunteer posts may lead to a paid job very soon after six years at home, so it's fortunate I didn't fit in with their cliquey nonsense. I feel no guilt and I will never be asked to help. Although it's a shame some PTAs can put parents off supporting the school.