close to death giving birth...

[ghostspirit]

im coming up 38 weeks pregnant. me and bf was talking generally about the birth. im having home birth and was telling him how midwife was saying how if i have to be transfered to hospital it could take upto 30 mins for an ambulance... he said thats rubbish they would get it there within a few mins or so. Then he started going on about how when you give birth your very close to death. of course i know there is a risk when giving birth. i said you can say that about alot of things there are risks in everything. i was trying to tone it down a bit. but he kept going on. it pissed me of because its not something i really want to hear when im not far of giving birth. so was he being unreasonble to be saying them things or am i being over sensitive

And that's the part I am uncomfortable with. The OP is not well informed about her high risk pregnancy. I feel both the consultant and the midwives have failed in this regard TBH.

Also blue I would not want to manage a severe PPH at home but as a midwife. I have in fact done so (on only one occasion thankfully) and it took some persuading to get the Mum to agree to go to hospital oddly enough. She did agree to go eventually, both she and her baby were fine.

As a midwife I used to carry Syntometrine for the third stage and Ergometrine in case of excessive bleeding.

You can never rule out catastrophic problems but when they occur it seems that being in hospital doesn't always make a difference sadly.

If the OP has a good history of giving birth with no complications then it's likely she will do so again. The midwife will transfer if there is any deviation from normal.

Midwives and obstetricians have to facilitate planning a homebirth if requested/insisted on. They can only not come if the community teams are already attending other births.

But on the flip side parents have responsibility not to act negligently. There have been women planning free births who have had SS involvement as a result.

I don't think it's good enough to be high risk requesting a HB therefore and not know enough about the risks.

I also think it will help op if she knows in advance the reasons she may be transferred and recognises that though she will likely be able to labour at home being high risk HB means you are much more likely to eventually deliver in hospital even if everything actually goes fine because midwives will be less likely to tolerate anything that is not textbook in labour.

Legally the midwife cannot refuse to attend a labouring mother, the health authority can say "we are too busy to send anyone out" but in if the mother refuses to go to hospital then the the hospital MUST provide a midwife.

The reason you don't see women demanding that midwives turn up at any place and any time is because most women are reasonable and understand shortages.

I worked with a Mum who ended up giving birth in hospital simply because both myself and a colleague were out at two other home births. Had that mother refused to go in then the hospital would have been obliged to send a midwife from somewhere.

But it is firmly my believe that the third trimester of pregnancy for everyone involves assessing risks. Hospital birth is not risk free. It has it's own set of risks attached.

It is wise for everyone to assess their own individual situation and the various risks involved in an informed way.

I see what you mean- I thought you meant a midwife was obliged to be present at birth whether or not the mother wanted one

Midwifes say I'm not high risk.

I know they have said that to you but factually it isn't true. You are on your sixth child, have anaemia and are under consultant care.

You are high risk.

I saw the consultant once for 5 mins. How do we know it's not to why would 2 midwifes say I'm low risk if I'm not

It doesn't mean you can't plan a home birth, or that what your BF said is right he's a dick, it doesn't mean things ARE going to go wrong, it just means you have to take notice of the fact that statistically and individually the risks are higher and it means if the MWs are saying you are low risk they probably aren't exactly trustworthy or mean to say something else like 'you are categorised as high risk but we feel comfortable facilitating the HB anyway in your individual situation'.

The best way of handling it in order to plan something you will feel comfortable with is to learn about the risks, the condition you are having treatment for and the possible outcomes/problems you may encounter given that your care is likely to be protective rather than supportive of delivering at home.

The reason you saw the consultant is because you have been anaemic and because you are on the sixth baby - which makes you high risk in their categorisation of pregnant women.

If you were not high risk you wouldn't be seeing the consultant at all.

And we can't answer why they have said that. I have said before I think YOU need to ask them and the consultant about the respective positions and the reasoning for them so you can make an informed choice.

You do need to stop thinking you are low risk and the midwives have said so so it's true. On the facts your pregnancy falls within a high risk category.

I agree mostly with what's been said, which is that generally more knowledge is a good thing and preparing for the worst doesn't mean you don't also hope for the best. As an aside though, It's not true to say seeing a consultant makes you high risk for the whole the pregnancy. I saw a consultant and then was discharged to give birth at a stand alone birthing unit (only midwives so same situation as a home birth).

No not for the whole pregnancy. I meant her developing the anaemia which needs treating and then seeing the consultant means that she is NOW high risk.

Multiple pregnancy makes you high risk too. I had my twins in an MLU attached to the CLU. I was able to be under joint care, I had minor gestational hypertension a family history of bleeding and history of minor secondary PPH. I had a successful midwife led birth at 40+3 after going into labour naturally. I would have had a HB if I was having a singleton, it doesn't mean I would have refused to hear that I had higher risks than other people or learn about what the risks are and take them into account in my planning - quite the opposite! Nor did I just take it the time they tried to induce my baby that was born at home for spurious reasons at 36 weeks.

You are simply in a better position if you learn about things yourself, accept the reality of your personal risks and plan for them.

But for the anemia thing she does not even know my latest bloods. She's making comment based on my bloods before I had treatment. So to me her anemia comments are not valied

Mucus plug has gone. Maybe things might start to happen soon ish.

Hope things are ok ghosty best of luck

nothing is really happening bit of pain but nothing to much... getting bored now haha

Good luck ghost !

Baby was born at 11.08 pm weighing 7.10

Aaah congratulations! Hope you're OK.

Wow congratulations did not read the hole thread but a lovely way to end it